oh im not sure if this is a rant, a diary/journal, or anything else. im just talking really, im talking to this thread so i dont upsett anybody in the house lol. well where do i start? i have bi-polar dissorder, rapid cycling mood disorder and anxiety. i was on alot of addictive mental health meds and have been through detox, im now 16 weeks in and not a chemical in my system . but,,,, i only made this huge effort to get well and detox in order to ttc, and at first i was so positive but when my didnt turn up this month and a ive lost all of my umph. my head and heart is screaming out for those sleaping pills and the tablets to numb my mind. i know the answer is to calm down and let nature take its course but i stupidly had the depo shot, little did i know it could put my back by months and months.
sigh
i wonder if im not ment to be a mummy? i wonder if im cocking things up massivly here. and i wonder if im going to crash and burn. or is this a five minute strop? i hope so. i knew i shouldnt have been googling depo provera!! i always make myself poorley by reading the horror storys on the net!.
if i take the sleeping tablets i know i can at least sleep for one night....but on the outher hand if i do ill regret it and hate myself for it. and then my detox would not have been worth the blood, sweat and tears it took.
oh god i just realised how this looks! so depressing , sorry!!!
well i think theirs only 1 awnser, have a bloody good cry, make a cup of tea, and do my healthy food shopping list. it will get better, it has to! so i need to get off of my depressive backside, stop bloody whinging and try!!!! ......ok, well sorry for the ranty, thready thingey peeps...
much luffs 4everhopefull XXXX

Sometimes all we need is a good rant. Congratulations on becoming "clean", and detoxifying yourself! I'm sending you tons of baby dust, and my best wishes.

Your doing so well , If this helps u along then thats great ..here is to a xxx

Everyone needs a place to rant! Have you tried more natural ways of regulating your sleep pattern? I used to take tablets but dont anymore and the thing that works for me is making sure i tire myself out during the day and also if i stay up past 4am or stay in bed after 3pm then i stay awake until the next night so that im exhausted and then the pattern is back! good luck hun, dont underestimate your achievements

It sounds like you're doing really well. These are the moments that really test you. Big hugs and may your BFP be very soon X