***sorry I keep changing the title****

OK ladies, it's time for some honest facts and figures, having them typed at for not only myself but all to see will hope keep me focused! This journal is going to be my way of putting my weight loss journey out in the public so I have to be good

I have always struggled with my weight since I hit my teens. My Father and his family are all overweight and unlike my sisters who take after my slim Mum I inherited their genes

I've never know what it feels like to be slim. I have never been able to shop in High Street stores such as River Island, Primark, Topshop, etc.. I have a wardrobe full of clothes "for once I've lost weight" as incentives, some of which have been in there for over 5 years. Every diet I started failed as I would go back to my bad habits. I am fat, I make no excuses as there are none. I eat all the wrong things and do not exercise. I have awful food habits, I have to have a dessert after evening meals, I pile too much on my plate, eat too fast, snack in the evening on all the wrong things and I can never have just a little. I drink a whole bottle of wine as the OH doesn't drink it and it would a shame to waste it

I managed to slim from 20st 8Ib to 17st with WW before my holiday in June 2008 after being diagnosed with PCOS in February. I have all the traits, ecxess body hair (I have to pluck the dark hairs on my chin and the odd one on my neck nearly everyday and my belly hair would give Simon Cowell a run for his money) Excess weight, etc. Luckily I then fell pregnant but piled it all on again Ellis was born in May 09 and in July I went back to WW and weighed in at 19st 7Ibs. My head was not in the right place and I struggled. I had a traumatic birth with Ellis and my C Sec wound was infected (I had regular dressing for nearly 3 months) I gave up after 6 weeks after yo-yo'ing every week and have sat on my fat arse scoffing my face since.

Here I am now, struggling to fit in a Size 24 and I have had enough. Whilst I know my shape is different I have never worn a size this large and I feel disgusted with myself for allowing this to happen. I can't even wear all my lovely heels as my feet hurt from all the weight I am carrying I have a wardrobe full of clothes that do not fit and I am returning to work on Jan 18th so having to purchase work clothes.

My main motivator is Ellis. I don't want to be the fat Mum at the school gates, I want to be able to set a good example for my son, run after him down the park and most importantly, live to see him grow up and raise his own family. I have no photo's of us together. I hate how I look and I refuse to have my pic taken but I've bitten the bullet and added "before" pics! I have no idea what I weigh now (but's it's more than 20st as thats all my scales go up to) but guessing I am the heaviest I have ever been. As soon as I get into town (prob Tuesday now as I need to get more clothes for work) I'll pop into Boots.

So it begins. I had initially set a goal for April, when we are hoping to go away, to be back in my pre-pregnancy clothes and then to be a size 16 (14 at a push) in October when we are hoping to go for our first holiday abroad. On Monday I received an email from an old friend, she is getting married on July 24th and we are invited Another Goal, nice dress and shoes in a smaller size! 2 hours later my Sister calls to say she has set her Wedding date for July 17th and would I be Bridesmaid. Right now I want to say nobut I have realised this a going to have to be my year to get slim and what great motivators I have

My plan involves a mix of WW with Slim Fast. I have followed WW in the past and it does work when I do it. I had originally planned to start it on Jan 18th once I am back at work. I am a PA but it's a very busy role so I know food will not occupy my time! Now this been brought forward and so far it's started well. I do the shop and resisted the lure of cheese, 1/2 price biscuits etc.... stocked up on friut and veg. I feel positive about doing this to the point of thinking about going back to my old eating habits macks me feel pysically sick I live a 25 minute walk from work and if Ellis is not at his Childminders I will walk to and from work and start swimming once our local pool is open. The excersice DVD has been dusted off and will be done tomorrow (OH at work so I'll feel more comfortable dancing around like a prat!)
I will post weight updates every 2 weeks and a progress photo once a month as well regular updates on what activity have done and what I have eaten.

07/01/10:


Today:

Breakfast: 2 x Weetabix and sml Banana with Skimmed Milk. Sml OJ.
Lunch: Bowl of Veg soup with 1 thin slice of Bread used as croutons
Snack: Hand full of Grapes
Dinner: Slow cooked homemade Beef Cassarole which has bulked up with loads of veg and swede (my fav) and a tin of WW Baked Beans - No mash, Bread or dumplings!! Tinned Strawberries in Sugar free Strawberry Jelly (Strawberries were in fruit juice, not syrup)
Lots of water!

Not too bad considering it was only last week I had days where I had none of my 5 a day

2010 WILL be my year!

***********************UPDATE*************************

I finally got weighed today and it's a shameful figure

Weight: 20st 7Ibs (130.2kg)
B.M.I: 43.5

What a great start hun! I'll be keeping an eye on this here journal of yours

boy do you sound motivated hun!! well done you! Really looking forward to seeing youre updates!!! You can do it yummy mummy!! xx

Agree you def sound motivated! I think a before picture is a must it will help, and we are all here to support.
xx

Thanks ladies!

Still motivated this morning and after looking at the pics taken last night (my bellys sticking out more than my tits!!) even more so.

Breakfast today was a Sachet of Oats so Simple mad with Skimmed milk. Still full from that but going to have some Couscous for lunch made with a baby veg stock cube and and a Kiwi and Banana. Tea is homemade Bologneise using good old caned tinned toms and Basil bulked with lots of mushrooms and onion. As I have some Morrisons LF Garlic Bread I'll ensure my OH gets the most meat and I may forgo the Pasta. Don't want to overdo the carbs!

Good luck with your weightloss journal darl, fab start!

Good luck! You'll be a beautiful bridesmaid in no time!

You mention your hubby getting most of the meat, have you thought about trying to introduce quorn, or another meat replacement product into your diet to lower the calorie content?

For instance in your spag bol, 100g of lean steak mince = approx 190cals, whereas 100g of quorn mince is just 94cals!

There are many meat replacement products on the market, and as long as your check the calorie content (some things can be decieving!) you can often lower your calorie intake.

There's plenty of recipes on the quorn website, we love to try them - http://www.quorn.co.uk/Our-Recipes/

Good luck on your weight loss journey!!! Try and eat more protein for breakfast. It will help sustain you throughout the day. If you feel hungry for a snack, either grab a vegetable or a fruit, or try drinking a glass of water first. A lot of the time when you feel hungry, you are really dehydrated.
You can do it!!!!! You will be looking even more fabulous in no time!!!

I wish I had some scales to get my true start weight! I have never wanted to know how much I weigh sooooo much lol!!! I was looking at the holiday pics for June 08 last night and I can not believe how much bigger I am now

I am the big 3-0 on December 22nd which will be my main goal. I have always wanted to be a size 12 - 14 so I have set this date as my ultimate goal aswell as all the mini goals I have through out the year.

With the execption of my OH and bestie mate no one else knows I am doing this yet. After years of trying and failing I feel more determind to make it a suprise (esp after my Dad told me I'd put weight on just before xmas. He worries I'll end up diabetic like him and my grandad) I am scared of letting them and myself down which is silly I know but as I don't see them that often (my Dad more so as he works abroad) I have mini goals and I want to see if they notice and say something.

Thanks for the tip Orange-sox! I usually use lean minced steak but only had stance mince in the freezer Next time I go shopping I will certainly stock up

I purchased the Rosemary Conley mag yesterday and it is fab! Come with a free 100 recipie book...so much choice I doubt I'll get stumped for meal ideas now and I can easily adapt them for Ellis as he usually eats what we have.

Yesterday was a good day, Special K for breakfast, HM Veg and Lentil soup for lunch and Salmon, stir fried veg and plan Jasmin Rice for tea. I have also developed a taste for Activa yoghurts, they are really creamy so thank god they come fat free lol!! I did have a snack in the evening, another bowl of Special K. Gicen it used to be Cheese and Biscuits or something stodgy with Ice-cream or custard and I did well lol!!

Had porridge this morning with some rasins for a sweet kick but I think the oats are a bit stale - tasted like dust and I like Porridge!! Lunch is Pepper and Carrot Croudttess with LF Houmous and dinner is Chicken Curry with Rice. Usually when we have curry I usually do Bhajis, Naan, dips etc but no extras tonight.

I am hosting our Yummy Mummy catch up tomorrow (There is a group of 9 us with LO around the ame age that met a baby club) so a huge housework blitz is on the cards as well as baking a Carrot and Ginger Cake which is low fat for us to have.

Thanks for taking the time to read my mumbling