They told me to take up yoga!

Well, when I get stressed they get worse, when I went to the doctors, it was pretty extreme, I was counting in my head all the time, had an obsession with number 9 because it rhymes with 'fine' so I thought that if I did things in 9's it would make everything ok, I had routines and if I broke them then I would cry for hours, one time my dad went for a business trip and something happened and my routine got broke and I was convinced it meant his plane would crash...

I don't think I do really have OCD, or at least if I do it would only be very mild, because my quirks have got alot better. But I'm not neat at all, I don't mind germs, but things have to be a certain way. At school I will miss a whole lesson because I'm too busy ripping out pages I'm unhappy with and doing them again. I've lost count of the amount of times that I've cried in lessons because I've made a mistake on the front of the book and the teacher won't give me a new one. I also get the aforementioned horrible thoughts, like urges, when holding knives to stab myself, to run infront of traffic. When I'm looking after my little sister I imagine bad things happening to her. I also get the horrible rude thoughts, imagining people doing things and I can't get them to go away.

Oh, and sometimes I just feel out of control, you know? And it makes me feel really, really claustraphobic, and I can't bear to touch anything or be near anything or I cry in frustration, even my clothing feels too tight, it usually stems from having un-neat writing in exams- I used to fail all the time because I wouldn't write quickly in exams because it would mean my writing isn't neat, but now I'm doing GCSE's I have to so I have to just not look at what I'm writing, but if I do look, I want to run away, which wouldn't be good haha.

Sorry for the essay

Well its at the point now were she sleeps in my bed cos i think that if i got burgled and sumone went in her room i wudnt hear them well i probs wud but i still have her in my bed, the only time shes not with me is when shes at school, as even tho i trust my mam to have her i always think well what if my mam is watchin her propelly and what if she crosses the road when shes not lookin etc etc, shes my baby and am not shy to say am very protective of her.

my quirks are, i really cant stand any mess in my kitchen at all not even a loaf of bread on the side it drives me mad seeing it, and i have to have air fresherners on all the time but different smelling ones so i dnt get used to them and can smell them all the time and loads of others oh god theres no hope for me lol

summerarmahni- I would recommend this website, http://www.ocduk.org/ it helped me a lot. I always just assumed OCD was 'people washing their hands all the time' but when my friends went on and on at me about having it, I looked it up, and found out it isn't just that at all. It really helped me in realising what can be symptoms, what can't, and before I posted a few times before I went to the doctors, when I was convinced I would be diagnosed, and it helped to have somewhere to share.

You might find you have a lot in common with OCD, or you could find none of it relates to you, but I'd check it out.

Thanks thompsonic am gona check that link now and have a good read x

That really is a good read!!....i was the same just thought ocd was all about bein a clean freak but its not about that at all...its much more!

there are so many diff things that go on in our heads but it all comes down to the same thing..."if we dont do this, the same way as always, something bad will happen because of it"...

This is how bad its got am just watching a film and a women was buried in a coffin alive now ive got it in my head what if sumone does that to my lil girl n i cant save her or help her these thoughts drive me batty and now i have to go upstairs n check shes ok in bed and still breathing if i dont go up i will start flappin that shes not ok

I know, those thoughts are the worst... like, even if I don't have a specific thing that will go wrong, I just get so distressed if something isn't right, like a disaster is coming and I need to stop it, yknow? Grrr, maybe I should take up yoga, it's obviously going to make everything better

When i go to bed i also say in my head "anyone not from the light please leave now" then i imagin an egg around my lil girl i do this so spooks dont cum n get us if i dont do this i get stressed n cnt sleep people will think ive totally lost the plot lol xx

not at all huni I fell the same all the time, diagnosed with PND a few months ago but things have gotten rather severe I have all these irrational thoughts ALL THE TIME cant sleep very anxious and nervous all the time to the point I have began picking at skin and excessvly tweezing leg hair, linging them up and inspecting them and counting, which I think is an OCD tendancy, im on waiting list for a psychiatric keyworker for weekly 1 to 1 and think ill get counselling as old childhood stuff now a MAJOR problem, I have an assessment with psychiatrist on tue which im hoping he will review my meds and at least offer some kind of anti-anxiety meds. Feel free to pm me to chat etc xx

bumpsmum- I have a hair thing as well. When I get stressed I pull out my head hairs and tie a knot in the middle of them... it's like a comfort thing. I do it constantly without realising but it makes me feel better.