Chris77

Hi there, I really hope things settle itself out for you. But if he's talking about punching you in the stomach to get rid of the problem or giving you a home abortion, perhaps he's not really the best person to have a baby with. Take some more time to really get to know him more before you're tied to this man forever.

Good luck to you.

Reedy

Firstly I cant believe your bf would say if you fell pregnant then he would give you a home abortion or punch you in the stomach to solve the 'problem' that is disgraceful whether he was joking or not but to me thats not a joke x
You say he's boring negative & you dont think he'll be the dad you want him to be so why would you want to have a child with him?
How old is he?
This is just a guess from reading your thread but it seems to me that your only staying with him because your so desperate for a child & you scared that if you split up your going to have to wait even longer to have the child you so desperatly want x

I really hope you manage to sort things out & good luck with your business x

saara24

Sweetie, your other half sounds a lot like my brother - am I right in thinking he's about 20? I've read your other posts too but it's too early in the morning to remember (My bro turns 21 on Tuesday, and seriously - the whole 'Dunno' thing and not being able to get them to turn away from the TV, or Halo on his Xbox in my brother's case) He sounds far too young and immature to be considering babies - I know once it's a reality a lot of guys will come through for you - but if you're having doubts now, it doesn't sound so good.

Another thing I wanted to comment on was the home business thing - it sounds all well and good in theory, but it's not quite as easy as people think to run a business from home that actually makes anywhere near enough money to be worthwhile - there's a lot more to it than pottering about and working when you want to, unfortunately - you have to do accounts (SERIOUS hassle, unless you have an accountant, in which case SERIOUS money LOL), deal with suppliers, webdesigners etc if you're selling stuff. If you're selling stuff, your customers want the goods they've paid for, and they want them now - if it takes off, it can take a long time each day to process even a day's worth of orders (takes me anything between three hours and nine hours a day just to pack parcels) - I can't even imagine trying to look after a baby as well as do my work - we're bringing in my OH's sister to come and help me and learn the ropes so eventually it'll be her responsibility and I can look after bubba.

I realise not all home businesses are quite as work intensive as ours is (proof-reading sounds fab!) but it really isn't the easy way out at all - you think you have no job security in paid employment? Some day's I'd kill to just work in an office or at a supermarket checkout - paid sick leave, maternity pay - if you're stressed you get signed off work and paid for it - holidays!

Anyways I'll stop ranting now. At the end of the day I wouldn't change it for the world - being your own boss is crazy scary and very very very stressful and hard, but it's a good feeling when you can make your mortgage payments and know that you were responsible for that money being there. Didn't mean to hijack your thread

starryeye31

Sweetie , I think its best you wait to have a baby , wait untill you have your own home , and wait untill you can afford it , your boyfriend sounds like he is not ready to become a father yet .

honeybunch2k7

What's ur gut telling you???

IA with others, proofreading sounds fab!!!!

honeybunch2k7

Wow those sound nice. What do you get 6 mos w/pay or something like that??? I'd kill for that, but I live in the wrong country.

saara24

I'd be quite happy with that too Honeybunch, but unfortunately as I dare to go my own way, pay half my income to the government in VAT and income tax, I'm not entitled to maternity pay or much help at all, actually.

We had a friend of OH's in our shop just recently who has been off work, on paid leave, for three months because of 'stress'. She's a call centre worker for a telephone bank. How stressful can it possibly be?

It drives me mad, tbh

Nik_

I have to agree with this. Although you want a baby, pressuring him when he's not ready and not being accepting about it, is not the way to go. It is INCREDIBLY insensitive and wrong for him to tell you that he would give you a "home abortion", joking or not, it's also a bit insensitive of you to not take a look from his perspective about having a baby. You're still quite young and I'm assuming he is too, he probably wants to live his life like most young guys do. Guys also mature slower than women do, so that's another fact.

Ask yourself this, would you rather have a baby now when he's still immature and not ready, thus incapable of living up to his full fatherly potential, or later in life when he's mature and ready and would make a great father?

Mrs Doddy

I read this the other day and didn't know what to advise. I have thought about it and the talk of sorting you out by punching you in the stomach is not the talk of someone who is ready to have a child. How much do you want to be with him ??? if you really love him maybe you should wait a bit until he grows up a bit, in the meantime sort out your business and money to make yourself a little more stable

However it is your desicion and I hope whatever you decide is the right desicion.

xxx

sparkswillfly

Hi.

I dont mean to sound like judgemental or anything like that but from reading your posts over the last couple of weeks it would suggest your very focused on having a baby right now. Is your other half aware of this? I think he is probably feeling very pressured! Boys are very very immature and it takes a lot longer for them to grow up than girls. He obviously loves you a lot because he wants to make a home with you but he sounds in no way ready for a baby. It would change your lives forever and I dont think hes mature enough for such a big step. At 18 you've still got a lot of growing up and changing to do. At 18 I was a completely different person to what I am now, when I think back only four years ago I cringe at how immature I was. Ive grown up a lot in four years and I think that the period of 18-23 is when most people become the real person they are (if that makes sense) Its also not fair on the child to bring him/her into a relationship thats not ready because it will affect their life in a big way. My parents had me young and split up when I was a baby and I never had a real sense of family and as much as most single parents do a great job it isnt an ideal situation and it didnt work for me. You should live together for a few years first and then discuss the subject again. You never know you could look back at this stage in your life when your 22 and say "what was I thinking?!"
You really dont need to rush you have your whole life ahead of you and pressurising your boyfriend could just drive you apart. I didnt want to be an old mum, ill be 23 when the peach is born, and I think you should atleast wait until your 21 to think about it because you could end up regretting the choices you made. And I really dont think this forum is helping as it is obviously all about babies!