Jewels

This is basically just me being frustrated!

Yesterday I posted that I only have one cycle of BCPs left. Well, for the past several months I've been weaning off of an antidepressant (for anxiety) in order to start TTC. In addition when I started weaning, I felt I should be able to handle my anxiety on my own now that I've been working through my childhood issues in therapy. Well as long as I've been weaning off, I've been worrying that I'm not going to be able to handle my anxiety without help from that nasty antidepressant. That's the majority of my problem - my negative thinking. Deep down I know I can do it, but it's like I keep sabotaging myself!

The other problem is withdrawal. Bear in mind I'm on one of the worst antidepressants to wean off - Effexor. A couple weeks back, my doctor recommended that since I was only taking 6mg every other day, I should be able to stop, so I did last Friday. In addition to scaring myself about not being able to handle getting off the drug, I think I'm suffering some withdrawal side effects - even worse anxiety, shakiness, and dizzyness. Both my doctor and therapist thought that I shouldn't suffer any withdrawal with only being on 6mg every other day, but I think they're wrong, as I've always been really sensitive to minor changes with drugs and BCPs.

So DH and I determined last night that it would probably be better for me to wean down even more slowly. We want to make sure that I'm feeling well mentally (completely without the antidepressant) for about a month or two before getting off my BCPs, because that's going to screw with me hormonally, and I don't need to be dealing with both my anxiety on top of hormonal stuff! So instead of quitting cold turkey, I will be taking the 6mg every two days for a few weeks and see how I feel.

So at this point, I'm going to take down my ticker, because I don't really know what the timing is going to be (maybe August or September), but I need to be in a better place. I guess I'll just be in WTT longer than expected. Not that everyone here hasn't been so very helpful and supportive!
I just want to be TTC!

NikiJJones

So sorry to hear all this, and that you are struggling. I went through anti-depressant withdrawl 3 years ago in order to get ready to TTC, and it was truely awful. I was so dizzy and faint all of the time, and really struggled with anxiety, but at the same time was so desperate to be off the tablets and ready for a baby.
You probably are wise to have postponed the TTC, but it doesn't make it any easier. I really sympathise with you and send lots of hugs. I hope that you manage it soon.
xxxx

Jewels

Thanks Niki, it's so nice to hear that there are others who have gone through it. Congrats on getting off your antidepressant. Did you ever start feeling better?

orange-sox

Oh honey

You're going through such a tough time, and I know it hurts to have to keep waiting to ttc, but just think, once you are weaned off your meds and you have that all important then you'll have 9 months left and have your LO in your arms... it seems like such a long way away now, but it will all be worth it in the end

I had to deal with coming off my anti depressants not too long ago, and while it was an incredibly difficult time for me, now it seems like a different life to me. At the time I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to cope, all you can do is take it one day at a time and you will get there. Just you wait till you have your LO, all this stress and anxiety will seem like a lifetime ago

Jewels

Thank you orange-sox. I guess I just really need to quit being so hard on myself and scaring myself, it's just a very bad habit that I need to break.

NikiJJones

Yes, after an initial few months of cold turkey I coped really well, until I MC a few weeks ago, and that set me right back emotionally, but I have managed to cope with it without going back on any tablets and without any sleeping aids, so I guess that is a real positive.
I'm now TTC again, and feeling stronger.
Good Luck and let me know how you go.
xxxx

Jewels

That is so great to hear Niki! It gives me hope! I will be keeping an eye out for your !

porkpie1981

Im so sorry but at least its for the best and u wont have to worry about not be 100% if u get a . You will know this way that everything is fine for the

Im hoping to start september/october. I have to wait to see how long my uni placement is

Thats unless i get lucky and he impregnants me b4hand

The only sad thing isssssssssss


U R STUCK WITH ME A BIT LONGER

Jewels

I am honored to hang with you in WTT until we're both ready Porkpie! hehehe

Chris77

Jewels, I'm so sorry to hear about this! I can really relate to your post. Like you, I am also on an anti-depressant (for severe recurrent depression). I take Prozac 40 mgs and after speaking with my doctor and DH we have all decided that I will stay on it until I get my first at which time I will be weaned slowly off. Prozac is one of the few "safe" drugs to take during pregnancy but I am still really ambivalent. Because of my history (been hospitalized twice and have had depression since I'm 12) my doctor doesn't want me off at all but supported my decision to try to come off but strongly advised I wait until I get that

I'm so sorry you have to wait longer than expected. I do too. We originally were going to start TTC in May - so I'm with ya. I know how it feels. If you need to talk or anything, I'm here - you can e-mail me, PM me, etc.