owo

Yikes, no DF and no broadband. My inlaws moved recently and took then a month to get their broadband reconnected, they said it was hell.
I end up watching girly DVD's in that situation.

owo

Sorry if i'm putting a downer on things today. Just having a down day.

golcarlilly

Don't be silly that's what we are here for, to cheer you up

owo

Thanks i need it

Sambatiki

Don't worry Owo. We are all intitled to bad days Anything in particular thats bothering you?? Or is it just one of those days

owo

It's just one of those days. Started yesterday really. It's a combination of "I want a baby now" and "OMG i don't want to get pregnant, what if it happens again" and "What if it was a fluke this time and i don't get pregnant again". Plus i'm approaching 30(July 17th) and starting to feel the old biological clock.
That's the gist of it really.

Sambatiki

Awww hun Im like that everyday. Although Im not 29, (im 26) I'd really like a baby before 30. I think I can understand where you are coming from. I think what I hate the most is sometimes I find it hard to believe that the MC really happened.... dykwim

owo

yeah ikwym. At the moment i just feel like I'm plodding along not really having anything to focus on. Can't TTC because AF isn't here yet, Can't really focus on my job as i've got as far as i can where i am really and can't leave because i want maternity benefits, it's not like me. I've always been really driven and had something to focus on, just feel a bit in limbo.
I also can't believe that it was only three weeks ago that it all happend. It seems so much longer ago.
I keep telling myself that it will get better and we have to keep telling ourselves that and focus on the fact we got pregnant once we can do it again. but then that little part of me says "yes you might have got pregnant but it didn't work did it".

Sambatiki

Oh babe please try not to think like that.
3 weeks ago isn't a very long time at all. How far were you gone??

owo

I know in the grand scheme of things three weeks isn't long but it feels like an age in one sense and not in another.
I was 10 weeks, but it had stopped growing between 6 and 7. I always knew that miscarriage is high in first tri, but one you don't think it will happen to you and two by 10 weeks i thought that i was home free.
the rational side of me knows that there is no reason why it won't work next time, but the less rational side also knows that women do have multiple miscarriages. I think i am always going to have this fear to an extent until i see a scan with a little heartbeat. I tell you one thing, if i don't get an early scan on the NHS i'm paying for one myself. It will be hell having to wait again.
Thanks for being here and reading.