I never think there is a right time to have a baby when it comes to money. I never seem to have any money but im wanting a another! I always seem to make ends met and my lo is plently and is well cared for. I think i would be 80 if i waited

So today was interesting at work. There is this girl who was saying that she is trying to get pregnant. Until she said that her boyfriend doesn't know she is. Now somedays I wish I could get pregnant but I know I could never do that. One, I know he'd find out and when he did he'd be super mad and maybe even leave me, secondly I believe a relationship should be built on honesty and trust. So most of the ladies at work were pretty much putting me down for wanting to wait and saying we'll never be financially ready. Yea, I know that is the case but we have our reasons for waiting. And I don't think I should be put down for not having a baby before 25. There are a lot of women who wait until their 30's and older. My dh knows of two people he works with they had their first at 38 and 40. I think it should be a personal decision. So that kind of peed me off. It wasn't all of them but a few including a lady who I'd say she was in her 50's and had kids in her mid 20's she said. It just seems at my job that a lot of the women have children earlier than I'm used to. My dh said b/c a lot of them don't go to college and they get married and have kids. I'm not putting them down or any of you on here who have had kids early but I'm just saying I think that is why they don't understand me and why we have waited. They're used to getting married young and having kids young. Where as me and dh we went to college first, graduated, got jobs then got married (I was 26 and he was 25 ) and now we're finally thinking of starting a family at 32 and 30. Probably not until I am 33 or 34 and he's 31 or 32. I'm sure there are women who are in their 30's at work and are having their first but I just haven't met them yet. So...I was a little peed of after that but I'm OK now. After talking with my dh I then remember why we're waiting even though it's hard everytime I find out someone I know is pg. but for one thing I thought about a friend who her SIL is and is having a hard time. At least I will be before my SIL (if all goes well) since she can't get pg anytime soon due to her disease. I feel bad for her but at least I won't have to deal with the dissapointment of her getting pg before me like I have with my friends. Luckily most of my friends who are married already had kids or are pg now. And my baby will be the first in our family since my brother was born so it will be plenty spoiled. My auntsand uncles didn't have kids and dad was an only child.

Sandy

Just because someone has had kids young doesnt mean that they havent gone to college and uni before they have had them

Flump 1- If you read my post, I said a lot of them don't go to college. I didn't mean that all of them don't. Yes, I know a lot don't but I know of quite a few that I work with who didn't go to college and came straight out of high school to work. We have a few who are 18, 19, 20 years of age who didn't.

Also...I also think that in most cases (NOT ALL) just so you don't misread my post women who are focused on their careers tend to have children later in life than those who aren't. I know for example my dad's cousin, his wife is an Executive at GE and they didn't have kids until their late 40's. Granted the adopted and I think the couldln't have biological children. Now he is a stay at home dad while she works. Now for me I haven't had much of a career b/c my husband works in TV and I have had to be bounced around from city to city so in my situation it is different and mostly ours is financial and us having to move 3 times since 2002. We wanted to wait until we got stable before starting a family. I don't feel it is fair to our children otherwise. I know of people who have moved( such as those in the military) and I know it isn't any fun when you have to move a lot. The kids make friends and have to leave them. My FIL had to do that. They moved 13 times when he was a kid.

We also have a good reason financially is we are sending our kids to catholic school and that isn't cheap. So we want to wait until we have some $ saved up for a nest egg in case one of us woudl lose our jobs and to get some other things done such as buy a car & house and take a vacation as well. So we are hoping to ttc soemtime in 2009 but it might be late rather than early. But, I am OK with it and even if I will be 33 or even 34 when we start trying. I know that me being married at 26 both of us wanted to wait until we were married at least 5 years and my dh was at least 30. So me being 2 years older than him I have to wait a bit longer. But I am not worried about not being able to have kids. My dr said after 35 but she said I should be fine. And the fact my mom had me at 33 and my brother at 36 my dr said that is a good sign too. My dr actually had her first at 34. I know for a fact I would not have been ready financially or emotionally in my 20's. I would have struggled. I knwo some of you do but I just loved being in my 20's going out with friends, my husband and having fun and not having to worry about it. I know now that I am older I also feel I am wiser and ready to start a family in the next year or so.



Sandy