So, my DH and I are all for having kids whenever it happens. We have been WTT ever since we got married almost 4 years ago. We are getting older and I don't want to wait too long before we start to have kids and having a family has always been a big priority for me. Only now I have been accepted into a doctoral program for educational leadership. This would mean three years of very intense school plus a dissertation and trips to Mexico and Spain for Spanish emersion. I am a huge advocate for education and I can see my potential as a program developer or administrator. The problem is, if I continue with this program it is a huge expense $50,000 over the three years and we would continue WTT for another 4 more years. By this time I will be 32. I am so conflicted. I am very ambitious and have envisioned myself as a strong advocate for education in my community but I also want kids. I feel like there would be no way to take on both at the same time. So, do I put my career and personal ambitions first and make my (potential) family second. Or do I place my family first and maybe not have a career I know I could excel in? What are your thoughts? What are your reasons for WTT? What are your reasons for starting a family sooner? Any advice or different insights would be greatly appreciated.

"If you wait to have kids until the time is right, you will never have kids."

Goodluck either way you choose

I agree with Marlarky. There is no "right time" to have kids. I know for me, when I was ready to have kids there was no doubt in my mind. If you had of asked me 6 moths before ttc I may have told you in a few years. One day I woke up and I was sure it was time. If that's how you feel I say go for it and it will all fall into place Best of luck with whatever you decide!

I think from Reading your post, a little part of you would resent missing out on the opportunity to further yourself. 32 isn't too old to have your children Hun.

Discuss it with your oh and really think long and hard about what both options really mean.

Would this opportunity come up again in a couple of years?

I suppose you also have to consider whether the career you are setting yourself up for with this programme is compatible with having kids when you finish. I have just started a PhD and we will start ttc in June, I
know it's going to be hard and I will be expected to travel but I think I would rather plan my career around my family than the other way round - but I will be about 35 when I finish and my OH would be 45, so I am hearing the tick tock! It's tough though, especially if you really want this!

Good luck deciding! Although being a new mom at 32 won't be making the record books!

I went through this same thought process. I just graduated in May with my master's in a similar field. I am 25, soon to be 26. I always saw myself having baby #1 around 24 yrs. old, but I chose school first. My hubby was there the whole way through. Currently, my husband is a full time student and I work as an RD, so we live on a college campus...not exactly the best of circumstances or how anyone woulc expect to begin a family; however, we both feel we are ready and can swing in financially. One of the better parts of this is that we both have flexibility in our schedules, which is very important to us. Student loan payments are an inevitable part of life now, just as normal as a car or house payment. You should just decide if you will have daycare or work a schedule for your OH and yourself, can you do it financially? And are you in a place where it would be possible if it happened. I think you should begin your process when you and your OH are in the place where you feel it's right. That's what we did, and if it happens, it happens. I believe that it's one of those things that will happen when it's supposed to.

Good luck to you! If you ever need anything, I'm always here to listen.

Totally agree.

I think in today's world is defo not too old to start a family with 32 or older.

Hubby and I are both 31 and have just now decided its time for us. We never wanted children, but all of a sudden it hit us. Honestly, I do worry its too late, but I also know that there are women much older than me getting pg everyday. Only you can make that desicion.....which is more important in 4 years? a job or a child...... Good luck!

Thank you guys for all of your wonderful insights!

JRC10, you brought up some great points about financial readiness and timing. I feel that we are in a place where we are financial ready (there will never be enough money, but we have some extra to support a family), which is where I am conflicted. I feel that right now is an opportune time to start a family because of the place that we are in right now financially and in our relationship. However, I also know that school will be stressful (graduate school was extremely difficult) and it would progress more smoothly if I can minimize things fighting for my attention and energy. I also feel that now would be the best time for me to embark on more school because I do not have kids, I have gained experience in my profession, and because I am young.

I worry about that if I go the education route and try to have kids at 32 that I will have problems. I was diagnosed as PCOS three years ago, never have had regular periods, and was recently diagnosed with having an under active thyroid, which also can cause irregular cycles. I have been off of birth control for 4 years, and while we have not been TTC I have not gotten pregnant. I even went a year and a half without a period.

Why cant there be an easy answer?

Which would you regret not doing more? I mean if you've got PCOS it may take some time to fall pregnant (but then again it might happen pretty quickly!)