Hi all.

OH and I have talked about trying for number 2 and think it would be best when DS is 2 which is in May. That is just so long as his behaviour has calmed down and he is still sleeping through the night.

The thing is OH always told me he wanted kids until I actually got pregnant with DS and then he went off the rails. Up until 15 weeks he was trying to convince me to have an abortion and saying he changed his mind an never wants kids. Then he got into the whole pregnancy thing, was really excited and loved DS.

Since having DS he changes his mind with some regularity when it comes to future children. First he was really for it and then against it, somtimes still saying never again. He also has a daughter from a previous relationship who he rarely sees and says two is enough.

I'm very worried that all will be fine until I tell him I'm pregnant and then he will go off the rails again. I can't face the confusion and stress again and this time I have DS to think about too. I know that what ever happens OH will love the child but it's as though he panics when he first gets the news. Panicking would be fine if it didn't continue for months.

I feel guilty as though I'm forcing it on him because I know how he will react even though he says another would be great (some of the time) and misses me being pregnant. He has also told me himself that his innitial reaction is always one of that the woman has tricked him even if he knows it's not the case.

What do I do.

This is a tough one hun. I really wish I could help but I wanted to send you some hugs. Men seem to act funny with the whole pregnancy thing. My DH went through a phase in the beginning and wanted to be cold towards me. We had a miscarriage a few months before and I think he was just afraid to get attached and get hurt again. I really hope your OH treats you right with the second pregnancy. I'm so sorry you went through all that with the first.

Sounds like you need to have a bit of a heart to heart with oh and explain to him your worries just like you have here and say your not prepared to ttc until he says so because you dont want to feel like your pressurising him. Unfortunately men cant deal with pressure and stress like women but he shouldnt be going off and acting the way he is its not fair on your, baby and now also your son will be involved!