Me and DH had a chat today about when's the best time to start trying again.
I never thought I'd be ready, I am so terrified of being pregnant again it's unreal but I'm so yearning for a baby after what has happened, it's horrible when your body is telling you you should have a baby in your arms and there isn't one there.
So we've really talked it over and we've decided, pending my recovery, we are going to start trying at the end of next month when we go on holiday.
It's going to be difficult because I don't think my cycle will be back in place by then but I just need to carry on and have something to look forward to or I'm going to drive myself crazy. Call me obsessed but I want another baby so much it hurts and as much as I think we should wait a bit longer than that I know I will frighten myself out of ttc if I did.
Please don't think I'm a bad person for doing this
I can't wait now, I've got some light at the end of this very dark tunnel and it's made me feel so much better about things.
Bless my DH, I cried to him this afternoon that all I wanted was our baby and he said, 'We can start trying again when we go away. I love you so much, I want another baby with you'.
He's been so caring through all of this. He's never been one for showing emotion but he's doing everything for me. He's even changed all of his shifts around this week so he only works mornings. I'm so lucky to have him.
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