Complete turn around by my husband

Vesta · Feb 5th, 2010, 05:13 AM

Last night my husband was pratically begging me to TTC. Even though we were supposed to start trying in December 09 and he changed his mind. I suprised myself and said no, even though I really want a baby.

We'd gone out in the evening and someone we know asked how long we'd been married. When I said 2 years they responded in a shocked voice "So where's the patter of tiny feet?!" This seems to have effected my husband as without any prompting from me when we got home he said he wanted to TTC.

I was quite suprised by this so I pointed out that he said he didn't want a baby yet. He admitted that he still didn't, but knew I wanted one and that it was "making me misrable." I said but wouldn't having a baby make him misrable? He said no.

So I said no to TTC. Him agreeing to TTC just to please me just doesn't seem right. I hope I've made the right decision.

Deeper Blue · Feb 5th, 2010, 05:48 AM

I think it was a good decision. I am the same with my OH and always used to tell him that despite my occassional complaining about WTT for #2 it was essential that -he wanted to have a baby-... otherwise I'd worry about his feelings toward the LO... as if he'd just had him/her to make me happy.

xxx
Hope it all works out babe.

silverbell · Feb 5th, 2010, 06:45 AM

I think you're definitely doing the right thing - you need to both be ready or things could really go wrong.

Also ... I've been married over 3 years and nobody has ever said such a thing to me, thankfully! Seems a bit cheeky! My parents and my DH's parents were both married 4 years before having children.

Anyway, hopefully the seed has been planted in your OH's mind now and he'll keep thinking about it and will become 'ready' soon. All the best x

xsophiexleax · Feb 5th, 2010, 07:49 AM

I think that was a good decision, both of you have definitely got to be on board for it to work!
Hope it all works out

xxxx

Missi · Feb 5th, 2010, 08:53 AM

Hey Vesta

I had the same issue at Christmas too and had to tell my DH that I didn't want to TTC as I thought his reasons were not sensible.

If your DH is the same as mine though, you never know what he wants anyway. My DH wants a family although is scared of the unknown. It's easier to say that they want it because you do, rather than admitting they want to start trying but are apprehensive about it. I'm pleased us girls don't have to get all macho about everything!

Good luck x

calm · Feb 5th, 2010, 09:50 AM

I am sure its the good decision. What "stinks" is that the good decision always seems to be the boring one and the one that has little to do with our desires. I truely hope that this is the point in which he will really realise he wants a LO as much as you do. Big X

Bmary83 · Feb 5th, 2010, 14:11 PM

Good luck!

Damita · Feb 11th, 2010, 12:23 PM

Well done waiting and good luck

Vesta · Feb 12th, 2010, 04:52 AM

A few days after this post we had a really long chat. It turns out he was just worried about money. But his boss has offered him a company car, so he's now happy to TTC and wants a baby. So we've decided just to go for it. Thanks for your support everyone!

Damita · Feb 12th, 2010, 05:01 AM

Yay! Congrats, baby dust to you both

Feb 5th, 2010, 05:13 AM	#1
Vesta Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 836	Complete turn around by my husband Last night my husband was pratically begging me to TTC. Even though we were supposed to start trying in December 09 and he changed his mind. I suprised myself and said no, even though I really want a baby. We'd gone out in the evening and someone we know asked how long we'd been married. When I said 2 years they responded in a shocked voice "So where's the patter of tiny feet?!" This seems to have effected my husband as without any prompting from me when we got home he said he wanted to TTC. I was quite suprised by this so I pointed out that he said he didn't want a baby yet. He admitted that he still didn't, but knew I wanted one and that it was "making me misrable." I said but wouldn't having a baby make him misrable? He said no. So I said no to TTC. Him agreeing to TTC just to please me just doesn't seem right. I hope I've made the right decision.

Status: Offline

Feb 5th, 2010, 06:45 AM	#3
silverbell Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: England Posts: 5,984	I think you're definitely doing the right thing - you need to both be ready or things could really go wrong. Also ... I've been married over 3 years and nobody has ever said such a thing to me, thankfully! Seems a bit cheeky! My parents and my DH's parents were both married 4 years before having children. Anyway, hopefully the seed has been planted in your OH's mind now and he'll keep thinking about it and will become 'ready' soon. All the best x

Status: Offline

Feb 5th, 2010, 07:49 AM	#4
xsophiexleax Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Portsmouth Posts: 935	I think that was a good decision, both of you have definitely got to be on board for it to work! Hope it all works out xxxx

Status: Offline

Feb 5th, 2010, 08:53 AM	#5
Missi Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: North East England Posts: 763	Hey Vesta I had the same issue at Christmas too and had to tell my DH that I didn't want to TTC as I thought his reasons were not sensible. If your DH is the same as mine though, you never know what he wants anyway. My DH wants a family although is scared of the unknown. It's easier to say that they want it because you do, rather than admitting they want to start trying but are apprehensive about it. I'm pleased us girls don't have to get all macho about everything! Good luck x

Status: Offline

Feb 5th, 2010, 09:50 AM	#6
calm Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 3,972	I am sure its the good decision. What "stinks" is that the good decision always seems to be the boring one and the one that has little to do with our desires. I truely hope that this is the point in which he will really realise he wants a LO as much as you do. Big X

Status: Online

Feb 5th, 2010, 05:48 AM	#2
Deeper Blue Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Near Derby Posts: 754	I think it was a good decision. I am the same with my OH and always used to tell him that despite my occassional complaining about WTT for #2 it was essential that -he wanted to have a baby-... otherwise I'd worry about his feelings toward the LO... as if he'd just had him/her to make me happy. xxx Hope it all works out babe.

Status: Offline

Feb 5th, 2010, 14:11 PM	#7
Bmary83 Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Lanarkshire Posts: 122	Good luck!

Status: Offline

Feb 11th, 2010, 12:23 PM	#8
Damita Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: England, UK Posts: 9,506	Well done waiting and good luck

Status: Offline

Feb 12th, 2010, 04:52 AM	#9
Vesta Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 836	A few days after this post we had a really long chat. It turns out he was just worried about money. But his boss has offered him a company car, so he's now happy to TTC and wants a baby. So we've decided just to go for it. Thanks for your support everyone!

Status: Offline

Feb 12th, 2010, 05:01 AM	#10
Damita Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: England, UK Posts: 9,506	Yay! Congrats, baby dust to you both

Status: Offline

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