denial after losing baby

missjay · Dec 1st, 2009, 08:47 AM

Hi I lost my baby Eva yesterday, after hell. I was in hospital for 3 days, been bleeding and extreme pain Yesterday after a scan, I was told that I had a complete miscarriage. I was shocked and on the other hand in my mind was like its a mistake, I asked the sanographer to check again, (as if she didndt know her job) I cried & cried. In the back of mind I keep thinking its a mistake! And my baby is stil there, I still preg, sore boobs, picky wiv food etc. I had been reading on misdiagonsised m/c and thinking I might one of the women who then gets lucky and get told they r still preg

How do I firstly acknowledge, accept and grieve? I just want to move on and look on the positive side and mayb start planning again!!

Any1?

Thank you

xxJennaBearxx · Dec 1st, 2009, 10:08 AM

i dont have much advice but i didnt want to read and run. maybe you could hold a little candle burning memorial for your baby with just you and your OH, or you could plant a little tree in honor of your baby. thats what we did when we lost my uncle in 9/11. im so sorry for your loss

Lois · Dec 1st, 2009, 10:39 AM

So sorry hun. xxx

Denial is a very normal part of grieving and often a person's first reaction. You've got to be really kind to yourself and give yourself time to accept what's happened. Having a little ceremony for you and your OH sounds like a good idea. I'm sorry that you're going through this.

Lx

StonesWife · Dec 1st, 2009, 11:12 AM

Girl yourself time dear. Its only been a few days and this isn't something that will just go away when you wake up. Grieving is part of accepting.

I know the girls here will help you, they're wonderful.

purple_socks · Dec 1st, 2009, 12:35 PM

i know how u feel...i went through something similar when i M/C last year. for me it just suddenly sunk in one day. the pregnancy symptoms will go away after a little while (for me it was a few weeks) and i think then its easier to come to terms with.

Talking helps...dont bottle things up. maybe u should post in the loss section? i'm sure there will be lots of other ladies in the same position that can offer some advice and support

missjay · Dec 1st, 2009, 17:10 PM

Thank you girls, hev managed to get out of bed and cook dinner. My husband said he will get balloons and will release them but I said I wasn't ready, hopefully 2mrow I will feel better.

Thank you allxx

goddess25 · Dec 1st, 2009, 20:17 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.. its difficlut. I have had a M/C too and its tough, it took me a few months to recover properly physically and emotionally. The denial you are feeling is normal and as time goes on it will gradually sink in especially when your pregnancy symptoms start to disappear. I remember when I had mine, i still felt pregnant and my ultrasound showed complete m/c too. I came home from the hospital and did a pregnancy test and it was still positive, which was wierd. Once the symptoms all left I then knew that baby was gone and i came to terms with it.

I hope you feel better soon. We are all here for you. How far gone were you?

mandaa1220 · Dec 1st, 2009, 23:52 PM

I'm so sorry hun... Give yourself a little time.

lovehearts · Dec 2nd, 2009, 04:40 AM

Im so sorry for your loss hun

Drazic<3 · Dec 2nd, 2009, 04:46 AM

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss darling. When we found out at the scan I was in pure denial - kept asking them to fix it and refusing to accept it. I also looked at misdiagnosed MC. What helped me, which I am not sure will be the same as I had an MMC, was going back for another scan a few days later and she showed me Edan again and explained what she was looking for and why it was he had died. I found this helped a great deal with closure. With regard to symptoms, mine had already started to go, but I still got symptoms and BFP until this week. The half life of HCG is 36 hours, so the levels in your blood should begin to half every 36 hours until zero.

If you need a friend darling, PM me anytime. Things will get better, I promise.

Dec 1st, 2009, 08:47 AM	#1
missjay Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: essex Posts: 354	denial after losing baby Hi I lost my baby Eva yesterday, after hell. I was in hospital for 3 days, been bleeding and extreme pain Yesterday after a scan, I was told that I had a complete miscarriage. I was shocked and on the other hand in my mind was like its a mistake, I asked the sanographer to check again, (as if she didndt know her job) I cried & cried. In the back of mind I keep thinking its a mistake! And my baby is stil there, I still preg, sore boobs, picky wiv food etc. I had been reading on misdiagonsised m/c and thinking I might one of the women who then gets lucky and get told they r still preg How do I firstly acknowledge, accept and grieve? I just want to move on and look on the positive side and mayb start planning again!! Any1? Thank you

Status: Offline

Dec 1st, 2009, 10:08 AM	#2
xxJennaBearxx Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: US Posts: 136	i dont have much advice but i didnt want to read and run. maybe you could hold a little candle burning memorial for your baby with just you and your OH, or you could plant a little tree in honor of your baby. thats what we did when we lost my uncle in 9/11. im so sorry for your loss

Status: Offline

Dec 1st, 2009, 10:39 AM	#3
Lois Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Warwickshire Posts: 1,630	So sorry hun. xxx Denial is a very normal part of grieving and often a person's first reaction. You've got to be really kind to yourself and give yourself time to accept what's happened. Having a little ceremony for you and your OH sounds like a good idea. I'm sorry that you're going through this. Lx

Status: Offline

Dec 1st, 2009, 11:12 AM	#4
StonesWife Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: USA Posts: 1,249	Girl yourself time dear. Its only been a few days and this isn't something that will just go away when you wake up. Grieving is part of accepting. I know the girls here will help you, they're wonderful.

Status: Offline

Dec 1st, 2009, 12:35 PM	#5
purple_socks Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,978	i know how u feel...i went through something similar when i M/C last year. for me it just suddenly sunk in one day. the pregnancy symptoms will go away after a little while (for me it was a few weeks) and i think then its easier to come to terms with. Talking helps...dont bottle things up. maybe u should post in the loss section? i'm sure there will be lots of other ladies in the same position that can offer some advice and support

Status: Offline

Dec 1st, 2009, 17:10 PM	#6
missjay Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: essex Posts: 354	Thank you girls, hev managed to get out of bed and cook dinner. My husband said he will get balloons and will release them but I said I wasn't ready, hopefully 2mrow I will feel better. Thank you allxx

Status: Offline

Dec 1st, 2009, 20:17 PM	#7
goddess25 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: vancouver Posts: 5,592	I am so sorry for your loss.. its difficlut. I have had a M/C too and its tough, it took me a few months to recover properly physically and emotionally. The denial you are feeling is normal and as time goes on it will gradually sink in especially when your pregnancy symptoms start to disappear. I remember when I had mine, i still felt pregnant and my ultrasound showed complete m/c too. I came home from the hospital and did a pregnancy test and it was still positive, which was wierd. Once the symptoms all left I then knew that baby was gone and i came to terms with it. I hope you feel better soon. We are all here for you. How far gone were you?

Status: Offline

Dec 1st, 2009, 23:52 PM	#8
mandaa1220 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,846	I'm so sorry hun... Give yourself a little time.

Status: Online

Dec 2nd, 2009, 04:40 AM	#9
lovehearts Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 8,374	Im so sorry for your loss hun

Status: Offline

Dec 2nd, 2009, 04:46 AM	#10
Drazic<3 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Norfolk, England. Posts: 9,295	I'm so sorry to hear of your loss darling. When we found out at the scan I was in pure denial - kept asking them to fix it and refusing to accept it. I also looked at misdiagnosed MC. What helped me, which I am not sure will be the same as I had an MMC, was going back for another scan a few days later and she showed me Edan again and explained what she was looking for and why it was he had died. I found this helped a great deal with closure. With regard to symptoms, mine had already started to go, but I still got symptoms and BFP until this week. The half life of HCG is 36 hours, so the levels in your blood should begin to half every 36 hours until zero. If you need a friend darling, PM me anytime. Things will get better, I promise.

Status: Offline

Similar Threads
What is the best you have found losing weight after a baby?	Baby Club
Denial after miscarriagepls help!	Miscarriage Support
TTC after losing baby	Miscarriage Support

User Name		Remember Me?
Password