Welcome to BabyandBump's Waiting To Try Forum - Are you planning a baby or extending your family but not quite yet due to education, work, housing or other reasons? Talk with others 'Waiting to try' for a baby! This thread is called 'Denial after losing baby' and is in our Trying To Conceive Forums section. |
Dec 1st, 2009, 13:47 PM
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| | Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: essex
Posts: 109
| denial after losing baby Hi I lost my baby Eva yesterday, after hell. I was in hospital for 3 days, been bleeding and extreme pain Yesterday after a scan, I was told that I had a complete miscarriage. I was shocked and on the other hand in my mind was like its a mistake, I asked the sanographer to check again, (as if she didndt know her job) I cried & cried. In the back of mind I keep thinking its a mistake! And my baby is stil there, I still preg, sore boobs, picky wiv food etc. I had been reading on misdiagonsised m/c and thinking I might one of the women who then gets lucky and get told they r still preg
How do I firstly acknowledge, accept and grieve? I just want to move on and look on the positive side and mayb start planning again!!
Any1?
Thank you | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 1st, 2009, 15:08 PM
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| | W(until marriage)TT Active BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: US
Posts: 136
|  i dont have much advice but i didnt want to read and run. maybe you could hold a little candle burning memorial for your baby with just you and your OH, or you could plant a little tree in honor of your baby. thats what we did when we lost my uncle in 9/11. im so sorry for your loss  | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 1st, 2009, 15:39 PM
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| | Mummy to a gorgeous girl Active BnB Member
Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Warwickshire
Posts: 771
| So sorry hun. xxx
Denial is a very normal part of grieving and often a person's first reaction. You've got to be really kind to yourself and give yourself time to accept what's happened. Having a little ceremony for you and your OH sounds like a good idea. I'm sorry that you're going through this.
Lx | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 1st, 2009, 16:12 PM
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| | Pregnant With Baby #1 Active BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: USA
Posts: 686
| Girl yourself time dear. Its only been a few days and this isn't something that will just go away when you wake up. Grieving is part of accepting.  I know the girls here will help you, they're wonderful. | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 1st, 2009, 17:35 PM
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| | Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Portsmouth
Posts: 1,921
|  i know how u feel...i went through something similar when i M/C last year. for me it just suddenly sunk in one day. the pregnancy symptoms will go away after a little while (for me it was a few weeks) and i think then its easier to come to terms with.
Talking helps...dont bottle things up. maybe u should post in the loss section? i'm sure there will be lots of other ladies in the same position that can offer some advice and support  | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 1st, 2009, 22:10 PM
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| | Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: essex
Posts: 109
| Thank you girls, hev managed to get out of bed and cook dinner. My husband said he will get balloons and will release them but I said I wasn't ready, hopefully 2mrow I will feel better.
Thank you allxx | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 2nd, 2009, 01:17 AM
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| | TTC baby #2 1st cycle Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,739
| I am so sorry for your loss.. its difficlut. I have had a M/C too and its tough, it took me a few months to recover properly physically and emotionally. The denial you are feeling is normal and as time goes on it will gradually sink in especially when your pregnancy symptoms start to disappear. I remember when I had mine, i still felt pregnant and my ultrasound showed complete m/c too. I came home from the hospital and did a pregnancy test and it was still positive, which was wierd. Once the symptoms all left I then knew that baby was gone and i came to terms with it.
I hope you feel better soon. We are all here for you. How far gone were you? | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 2nd, 2009, 04:52 AM
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| | Waiting To Try (WTT) Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: US
Posts: 1,558
| I'm so sorry hun... Give yourself a little time. | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 2nd, 2009, 09:40 AM
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| | NTNP! Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,228
| Im so sorry for your loss hun  | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 2nd, 2009, 09:46 AM
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| | Daring to believe... BnB Addict
Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Norfolk, England.
Posts: 6,313
| I'm so sorry to hear of your loss darling. When we found out at the scan I was in pure denial - kept asking them to fix it and refusing to accept it. I also looked at misdiagnosed MC. What helped me, which I am not sure will be the same as I had an MMC, was going back for another scan a few days later and she showed me Edan again and explained what she was looking for and why it was he had died. I found this helped a great deal with closure. With regard to symptoms, mine had already started to go, but I still got symptoms and BFP until this week. The half life of HCG is 36 hours, so the levels in your blood should begin to half every 36 hours until zero.
If you need a friend darling, PM me anytime. Things will get better, I promise. | | | | Status: Offline
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