How do you cope with...

Linzi · Nov 30th, 2009, 08:37 AM

your OH not being ready?

I'm struggling, I love him to pieces and I would never leave him over this but I feel crushed. I was ok for the first few days but now, I just cant work out how I feel about it. Just feel gutted.

We were trying for 5 months, had referrals to gynecologists in place for PCOS(waited 4 months for first appointment, 4 months for next one) and started taking folic acid, preparing for a new baby etc.

Its so silly to be upset but I just have felt on the verge of tears all day. I dont want to force or rush him into it because thats not right, but I just feel ready.

I know theres a lot of ladies in the same boat, how do you deal with it and be understanding? x

Mrschoochoo · Nov 30th, 2009, 08:50 AM

Well from my point of view Seething unspoken resentment, occasional silent treatment and throwing myself into home DIY.
Sorry I cant be more helpful on being understanding, I have always been truthfull with my OH about wanting kids once we were married, if only he had been more truthfull about what he wanted instead of just agreeing then bottling it in the first month of trying.

lozzy21 · Nov 30th, 2009, 08:51 AM

I dont know how you deal with it, you just have to.
Try to busy your self with other things and make the most of seth.

lovehearts · Nov 30th, 2009, 09:27 AM

a lot of moaning and moping! lol but seriously i vent a lot to my best friend - she is really understanding and really talks sense in to me! I do bring it up with oh and he knows how i feel about it all. xx

mandaa1220 · Nov 30th, 2009, 09:30 AM

i agree.. temporarilly focus on other things that you can do before ttc again.
it's hard, but you'll manage. when is he saying he wants to ttc?

hun

Linzi · Nov 30th, 2009, 10:07 AM

He doesnt want to. He hasnt put a date, he said he doesnt know if he ever wants another one. So Im not WTT, Im just nothing. Just thought a few ladies in here might be able to give me some advice or listen to me complain

I dont want to be arsey with him, because its not his fault and it doesnt change the way I feel about him at all, I just want to be able to deal with it myself without putting the pressure on him just not sure how I do that.

Im going to have to get a hobby! x

Linzi · Nov 30th, 2009, 10:07 AM

also to add, I could possibly be pregnant this month as we hit all the right times at OV but I doubt it seriously x

mandaa1220 · Nov 30th, 2009, 10:14 AM

my OH told me i needed a hobby back in february and that's when i found bnb...
complain as much as you'd like... it's hard, especially when you love someone so much and it's really not his fault that he doesnt' want more children, but it sure is frustrating i bet!

Lou · Nov 30th, 2009, 10:30 AM

hey Linzi,

I haven't got a babba, but im in a similar boat. I have PCOS and my gynea has already said that TTC will be a long hard slog for us and that we'll likely need help when it comes to conceiving... added to that, OH is ready, he's told me hes ready, but he doesn't want them yet... he said he doesnt want to even try until i have a full time job... now that im going back to uni (after a year out) to do my PGCE that means the earliest I can try is in about 2.5 years.

Its soo hard isnt it hunni, especially with the added worry of how long it'll take due to the PCOS!!

One of the only things thats getting me through this long hard slog is my niece and nephew and godson.. I absolutely love spending time with them so I just try to busy myself with uni work, them and friends.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

lozzy21 · Nov 30th, 2009, 10:35 AM

Rant away hun, Im sure he will change his mind when seth is a little older.

Nov 30th, 2009, 08:37 AM	#1
Linzi Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Leeds UK Posts: 15,764	How do you cope with... your OH not being ready? I'm struggling, I love him to pieces and I would never leave him over this but I feel crushed. I was ok for the first few days but now, I just cant work out how I feel about it. Just feel gutted. We were trying for 5 months, had referrals to gynecologists in place for PCOS(waited 4 months for first appointment, 4 months for next one) and started taking folic acid, preparing for a new baby etc. Its so silly to be upset but I just have felt on the verge of tears all day. I dont want to force or rush him into it because thats not right, but I just feel ready. I know theres a lot of ladies in the same boat, how do you deal with it and be understanding? x

Status: Offline

Nov 30th, 2009, 08:50 AM	#2
Mrschoochoo Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 679	Well from my point of view Seething unspoken resentment, occasional silent treatment and throwing myself into home DIY. Sorry I cant be more helpful on being understanding, I have always been truthfull with my OH about wanting kids once we were married, if only he had been more truthfull about what he wanted instead of just agreeing then bottling it in the first month of trying.

Status: Offline

Nov 30th, 2009, 08:51 AM	#3
lozzy21 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Teesside, Posts: 19,413	I dont know how you deal with it, you just have to. Try to busy your self with other things and make the most of seth.

Status: Offline

Nov 30th, 2009, 09:27 AM	#4
lovehearts Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 8,374	a lot of moaning and moping! lol but seriously i vent a lot to my best friend - she is really understanding and really talks sense in to me! I do bring it up with oh and he knows how i feel about it all. xx

Status: Online

Nov 30th, 2009, 09:30 AM	#5
mandaa1220 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,846	i agree.. temporarilly focus on other things that you can do before ttc again. it's hard, but you'll manage. when is he saying he wants to ttc? hun

Status: Offline

Nov 30th, 2009, 10:07 AM	#6
Linzi Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Leeds UK Posts: 15,764	He doesnt want to. He hasnt put a date, he said he doesnt know if he ever wants another one. So Im not WTT, Im just nothing. Just thought a few ladies in here might be able to give me some advice or listen to me complain I dont want to be arsey with him, because its not his fault and it doesnt change the way I feel about him at all, I just want to be able to deal with it myself without putting the pressure on him just not sure how I do that. Im going to have to get a hobby! x

Status: Offline

Nov 30th, 2009, 10:14 AM	#8
mandaa1220 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,846	my OH told me i needed a hobby back in february and that's when i found bnb... complain as much as you'd like... it's hard, especially when you love someone so much and it's really not his fault that he doesnt' want more children, but it sure is frustrating i bet!

Status: Offline

Nov 30th, 2009, 10:30 AM	#9
Lou Waiting To Try (WTT) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Cheltenham/Liverpool Posts: 1,093	hey Linzi, I haven't got a babba, but im in a similar boat. I have PCOS and my gynea has already said that TTC will be a long hard slog for us and that we'll likely need help when it comes to conceiving... added to that, OH is ready, he's told me hes ready, but he doesn't want them yet... he said he doesnt want to even try until i have a full time job... now that im going back to uni (after a year out) to do my PGCE that means the earliest I can try is in about 2.5 years. Its soo hard isnt it hunni, especially with the added worry of how long it'll take due to the PCOS!! One of the only things thats getting me through this long hard slog is my niece and nephew and godson.. I absolutely love spending time with them so I just try to busy myself with uni work, them and friends. xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Status: Offline

Nov 30th, 2009, 10:35 AM	#10
lozzy21 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Teesside, Posts: 19,413	Rant away hun, Im sure he will change his mind when seth is a little older.

Status: Offline

Similar Threads
Ladies with Pregnancy Rhinitis How do you cope with the congestion?	Pregnancy - Third Trimester
Eczema how do you cope with it?	Baby Club
How do you cope with your BFN?	Trying To Conceive
How do you cope with it?	Trying To Conceive
How do you cope with not knowing? Sorry - long	Trying To Conceive

User Name		Remember Me?
Password