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Old 15-02-2008, 12:05 PM   #1
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Question

Waiting after missed miscarriage


Hello Everyone,

Well i have now moved from the miscarriage section, into this one. When i had my miscarriage me and my husband had decided to try again soon, and that was keeping me positive.
But my oh said a couple of days ago that he thinks we just wait a couple of month, me been completley hormonal, cried loads and loads.
But when after i had made a mountain after a mole hole he explained the factors:
1.we want to move house because there is no space for a baby room.
2. Plus my oh job isn t secure at the moment.
3. I would like a few things done with my teeth ( don't like the dentist at the best of times, so don t want to stress with it while pregnant )
4. I would love a holiday before TTc again
5. We both need our driving licences

So after the thinking about it those are valid reasons. But it didn t help me feel less devasted, i just took it as him taking something away from me. I was thinking how can you do that when you knew how excited to ttc again.

But obviously those above are some pretty valid points. I just booked my holiday for Gran Canaria.

So i have something to look forward to. Please share you stories about this subject, i think i really need to know that sometimes in a relation their is a conflict in opnion about waiting and starting
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Old 15-02-2008, 13:49 PM   #2
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Don't really have any advice for you. I know that i must be hard waiting though when you were so excited to start again
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carmen (28-02-2008)
Old 15-02-2008, 16:19 PM   #3
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I think most people have a conflict about when to TTC there is always something to get in the way. We decided we would be waiting forever if we wanted everything perfect so we just took the bull by the horns and went for it, as we knew we would cope whatever. We have coped fine and would not have it any other way!

Good Luck hun for when you start TTC! x
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carmen (28-02-2008)
Old 15-02-2008, 17:49 PM   #4
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Well, I understand how you feel. I had a suspected ectopic pregnancy in early December '07 and after I was treated the medical folks told me I had to wait 3 months before TTC to make sure the treatment was out of my system. I had waited until I'd finished a Masters degree (16 months) before TTC and fell pregnant almost immediately, so when I was told I'd got to wait 3 months I was pretty disappointed.

However, as I near the end of the 3 months now I feel different. Although it felt raw at first I think the wait has helped me to get over the mental scars left by the horrible time I had when my pregnancy failed. The physical stuff didn't take too long, but the mental mess took me longer. I have needed time to be mentally strong before we TTC again in early March. Only now do I feel I will be strong enough to see my doctor and tell him I'm pregnant again (fingers crossed!) and be strong enough to deal with the merry-go-round of tests I'll have to endure having had a suspected ectopic last time.

This is just my experience though. Take it a day at a time. If it helps, I've told myself these things happen for a reason. There is never a perfect time to have a baby financially/physically, etc, but hey, what difference will a few months make? If everything goes well we'll look back in years to come and forget the wait when we look at our children growing up.

Take care. I know exactly how you feel!
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Old 16-02-2008, 01:51 AM   #5
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Hi
I had a m/c last month and have been advised by the nurse that I should wait till my next period before trying again. After 12 month of ttc I found this news devastating. So although we have taken her advice we haven't done anything this month either to stop anything happening. Its each to their own and whatever you are both happy with, Its definitely a hard decision. Hope that helps a bit
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carmen (28-02-2008)
Old 16-02-2008, 02:47 AM   #6
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to you all girls! x
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carmen (28-02-2008)
Old 17-02-2008, 23:38 PM   #7
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Hi Carmen
As you have read my from post you also know that I am waiting to ttc.

You seem to have a few reasons to postpone trying to conceive so maybe thats the ways its meant to be for you. Although if it did happen it would be a nice surprise and you would be able to cope I'm sure!! I can't try for 4-6 mths for medical reasons so this is obviously something outside my control. Personally I am ok with this as I have no option and I feel everything happens for a reason (although I wasn't thinking this logically 2 weeks ago after my D&c!!) I think that while for some people it may be ideal to try straight away for me its not, apart from the medical problems, I don't feel mentally/emotionally ready so I hope that in a few months I get the all clear and will be in a much better mental and physical state to try again.

In the meantime I suggest you go and enjoy your holiday like I plan to as when the little ones hopefullly do come along it won't be as easy to get away to Gran Canaria!!!

Good luck
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carmen (18-02-2008)
Old 18-02-2008, 10:05 AM   #8
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I also agree with the people who say there is never a perfect time to have children, because there is always something you can improve.

But i m looking forward to my holiday.... and changing house. But i think i'll start again ttc in April.

Thank you everybpdy for your advice :smile:
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Old 26-02-2008, 23:44 PM   #9
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Good luck in april! Hope things work out for the best!!
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carmen (27-02-2008)
Old 27-02-2008, 18:26 PM   #10
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Yes, good luck in April Carmen! You've been really strong and it'll pay dividens when the happy time finally arrives for you, bunny!

All the best and hope you have a lovely holiday!!
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