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I'm not bothered either way but I will be married before I conceive, not because I think it's the 'right' thing to do, but because that is the way my life has panned out.

Well, this is a pretty big issue for me just now as I have always wanted to be BUT we are now at the point where we are thinking we are going to try for our first baby before we get married. Don't get me wrong, I would love to get married first, but I do think it is more important to be happy than to be married if that makes sense and marriage doesn't always equal happiness.

If things change and we can do it first, we will but if not then it wasn't meant to be that way. It isnt that we want a big fancy wedding or anything but everything does cost money. And, we dont want to leave trying for our first too much longer (im 27 OH 32 this year) and we can get married anytime.

xxx

I don't know why, as we have no particular set religious beliefs and I didn't realise my self until h2b and I got talking, but we're waiting until after our wedding to start trying for children. It was a joint decision and probably a good one as I'm only going to be graduating uni this summer and h2b only graduated last year and we want to get married as soon as we can but really there's no reason, other than financial, that we couldn't start ttc in June! I think it's just a natural progression for us: get together, get engaged, get married, have children. Both sets of parents were married before starting a family, although it was a close thing for my parents as they had to bring the wedding forward due to their wedding being planned for my due date!!

Beca

Mostly I don't care either way, but I think people who are not married tend to end their relationship faster over a disagreement than people who are married and may put more effort into saving the marriage, I think ideally children do better in a happy 2 parent home. But then again is just a general observation there are people who get divorce after a month , and there are people who never get married even after 30 years of being together

I'd prefer to be married, but it's not essential. You can get married at any age!

It dosnt matter really. It really comes down to the individual and their beliefs.

For me, i'd much rather be married first, but if a child comes along before that happens i wont cringe with dissapointment lol.
My distant family are very conservative and old fashioned and believe "marriage before children" so thats the only reason why i would opt to be married first. It would probably also make me feel more secure in the long run..

Married

Id like to be but not fussed ether way.

I always this it's nicer to be married first, but then that's hardly headline news since I'm married However, that is totally a personal choice for me. My brother has 2 boys and he hasn't married his fiance and they don't plan to get married either. It doesn't mean they are less of a family or less stable that my relationship.

As for how long is ideal to be married, that's an interesting question. I would have tried on my honeymoon, but DH didn't want to. I then wanted to only wait 6 month, but DH wanted to wait longer. We're now planning ttc for around out second anniversary when we're on holiday, and I am very happy with this amount of time. It has meant that we have been able to enjoy ourselves, enjoy being married and do things. We've managed to buy lots of things, save lots of money for our future (and longer maternity leave) and have lots of lovely holidays. I know we wouldn't have been able to do any of these if my first plan of a honeymoon baby had happened.

However, having said all of this, it is totally personal choice and what suits one couple won't suit another couple at all.