How young is too young to start trying? - Page 2

sparkswillfly · Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:25 PM

why are you so obsessed with tax money and tax payers?

**Vickie** · Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aria

While there's no number that would automatically mean readiness (just like being 18 doesn't automatically make one an adult in mind, though too many kids who are 18 are offended if you don't think of them as mature adults), I absolutely would not support anyone under 22 trying to have a baby. I don't care that almost everyone under the sun who is 18, 19, 20, thinks they're soooo mature and ready. Every person chances a LOT between the late-teens and mid-20's, and it really is immaturity that blinds a person from being willing to learn from those older than them. When you were 14, you probably thought you were mature, but look at how much you've changed and how immature you now see that you really were. That was only a few short years ago.

As for over 22, I'm not going to automatically be all, "Yay! You'll be an awesome mom!" No. At this point, its about had the person thought it through? Is the relationship truly stable? Is there a plan to support the baby that is NOT tax dollars? Have the couple thought about things such as what happens if one loses a job or even dies? What is the reason for wanting a baby?

I fully expect someone to take offense, but I'm not going to lie and say, 'Oh, as soon as you turn 18, it's all good!" because that would be lying. I have seen far too many teen mothers (and I am the ONLY one in my ENTIRE family EVER to not be a teen mom among those who had kids - and only a couple didn't), and I've seen the reality of what they go through.

Having a baby is not a game, and being truly ready means more than just wanting one and having a job at the moment.

You're right I do take offense. There are plenty of women on here under 22 who have babies and who are damn good mothers. I also have a niece who got pregnant at 17, no it wasn't easy, no it wasn't planned but it happened and she's dealt with it and been a wonderful mother to her (now 2) kids.

Having a baby is hard at ANY age. I am 29 and it is hard. There are days that I've wondered whether or not I was really ready or not. It happens no matter what your age!

Honestly can you not find a nicer way to put things? This is not the first time concerns over your posts have been raised.

**~KACI~** · Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aria

I absolutely would not support anyone under 22 trying to have a baby. I don't care that almost everyone under the sun who is 18, 19, 20, thinks they're soooo mature and ready. Every person chances a LOT between the late-teens and mid-20's, and it really is immaturity that blinds a person from being willing to learn from those older than them.

I'm sorry i totally disagree some 18 years old are more mature then others the same as 19, 20, 21 and 22.
I totally depends on the person, I was 18 when i got pregnant with my son and 19 with my daughter, i am mature. I think i am mature because i have had 'life experiences' while i was still young which made me more mature before my time.

Tracie87 · Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:36 PM

honestly? 21+ i started at 19 im now 21 and still waiting but in the years iv been trying iv realised iv missed out on alot of my life just trying, ill be nearly 23 by the time i have a baby * if all works* i have 6 months before i have treatment for fertility and i intend to live those 6 months to the full..

so i say 21 + is a good age if your ready to put any wild life on hold for a bit

**polo_princess** · Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aria

While there's no number that would automatically mean readiness (just like being 18 doesn't automatically make one an adult in mind, though too many kids who are 18 are offended if you don't think of them as mature adults), I absolutely would not support anyone under 22 trying to have a baby. I don't care that almost everyone under the sun who is 18, 19, 20, thinks they're soooo mature and ready.

I started TTC just after 19 because i knew of fertility problems ahead from medical problems when i was a teen. Low and behold i didnt conceive until i was 22 ...

That statement is just tarring everyone with the same brush and i completley disagree. Whilst i dont support under 18's TTC there are always exceptions to the rule and you should stay open minded to that

**Arcanegirl** · Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:50 PM

We started when i was 18, 3 years later and 2 IUIs later and im where im at now at 22, im glad i didnt wait and i dont have any doubts at all that im too young.

princess_bump · Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:54 PM

i agree 100% with polo, i too don't encourage ttc 18 or under, i do think, 18+ it is completely down to the person, and the relationship they are in. i wasn't ready before i met james, when i was 20, but i think we were both ready long before we did, i was 22 in the nov, we started trying in the jan and lucky enough to conceive the sept, and that was with pcos and endo. anyhow, getting back to the original post, i too think it is down too the individual as like all babies, we're all different, and must be accepting, even if we don't necessary agree with there choices

x

Tracie87 · Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:55 PM

exactly if i didnt try at 19 i wouldnt no what i do now.. not everyone is ready at 18 but some are.. i thought i was.. i wasnt, but then again nobody is every really ready!

sparkswillfly · Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tracie87

exactly if i didnt try at 19 i wouldnt no what i do now.. not everyone is ready at 18 but some are.. i thought i was.. i wasnt, but then again nobody is every really ready!

Thats true! I wasnt ready and I am young and skint but doesnt make me a bad mother. Meadow has everything she needs and more.

Tracie87 · Apr 3rd, 2009, 16:00 PM

ofc it doesnt make u a bad mummy

it makes you stronger not knowing the unknown

Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:25 PM	#11
sparkswillfly Mum (Mom) Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: London Posts: 9,888	why are you so obsessed with tax money and tax payers?

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:36 PM	#14
Tracie87 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: In a pineapple Posts: 10,064	honestly? 21+ i started at 19 im now 21 and still waiting but in the years iv been trying iv realised iv missed out on alot of my life just trying, ill be nearly 23 by the time i have a baby * if all works* i have 6 months before i have treatment for fertility and i intend to live those 6 months to the full.. so i say 21 + is a good age if your ready to put any wild life on hold for a bit

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:50 PM	#16
Arcanegirl Pregnant (Expecting) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Glasgow Posts: 25,663	We started when i was 18, 3 years later and 2 IUIs later and im where im at now at 22, im glad i didnt wait and i dont have any doubts at all that im too young.

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:54 PM	#17
princess_bump Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: England Posts: 31,453	i agree 100% with polo, i too don't encourage ttc 18 or under, i do think, 18+ it is completely down to the person, and the relationship they are in. i wasn't ready before i met james, when i was 20, but i think we were both ready long before we did, i was 22 in the nov, we started trying in the jan and lucky enough to conceive the sept, and that was with pcos and endo. anyhow, getting back to the original post, i too think it is down too the individual as like all babies, we're all different, and must be accepting, even if we don't necessary agree with there choices x

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2009, 15:55 PM	#18
Tracie87 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: In a pineapple Posts: 10,064	exactly if i didnt try at 19 i wouldnt no what i do now.. not everyone is ready at 18 but some are.. i thought i was.. i wasnt, but then again nobody is every really ready!

Status: Offline

Apr 3rd, 2009, 16:00 PM	#20
Tracie87 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: In a pineapple Posts: 10,064	ofc it doesnt make u a bad mummy it makes you stronger not knowing the unknown

Status: Offline

Similar Threads
When is too early to start getting a nursery ready?	Pregnancy - Second Trimester
How young is Too young for TTC?	Trying To Conceive
Nearly 12wks - When is too soon to start buying things?	Pregnancy - First Trimester
How old is too old to start trying?	Waiting To Try

User Name		Remember Me?
Password