Had another talk with OH..

sleepinbeauty · Mar 10th, 2009, 10:05 AM

...and we will DISCUSS the POSSIBILITY of TTC in August, not actually try. Needless to say, I took it pretty hard. He feels like he's backed into a corner, I feel like I've been ripped into pieces.

"Can't guarentee I'd be happy and I know I wouldn't put in a much effort or love that you would." I know that....

*sigh* I guess I'll just focus on the move. We're very excited about that. I hope we get the bigger of the 2 apartments we applied for! We're waiting to hear back for the real estate lady. We might be moving within the month!

mikababy · Mar 10th, 2009, 11:35 AM

You poor thing. I can relate to that completely. My OH and I have been together for 5 years and I have wanted a baby for the past 3. We were finally meant to be TTC last August (when we got married) then in the New Year and then in the Summer. When each time came he would say it wasn't the right time.

Unfortunately for women I don't think we really consider all the practical things like income, moving house etc we just want a baby NOW and now is the right time for us.

I know it's really really hard, but try to concentrate on getting your 'nest' in order and getting things sorted first. It will be much better if you're both really looking forward to things and planning together rather than him being reluctantly dragged into the baby stores (and feeling like he's somehow being coerced) and you feeling resentful because he doesn't seem that interested in it all.

I did think about getting 'accidently' pregnant, but I'm really glad I didn't now.
Want to wait until we're both ready (even though it's bloody frustrating at times!)

sleepinbeauty · Mar 10th, 2009, 11:43 AM

Yeah, I couldn't do that to him (have an 'oops') I thought i might be having a genuine one this cycle, but AF showed (I'm so glad I didn't say anything to him about it)

He says that he feels no need, feels no drive to have a family, anything. It kills me.

I hope things get easier for you, too.

Serene123 · Mar 10th, 2009, 11:45 AM

I'm not mentioning TTC atall to Rich now untill I actually want to. He has agreed to talk about it in the summer, so I'm waiting.

sleepinbeauty · Mar 10th, 2009, 14:56 PM

yeah, I guess that's my plan now too. Not that I'm not allowed to--he says that if i need to talk that I should but uggghhh....

Jewels · Mar 10th, 2009, 16:10 PM

I'm sorry to hear that...

It is SO hard waiting, especially when you just want to set a date and be done with it. I experienced the same kind of thing with my hubby - he would say we will have a baby, but never give me a set time. Then it was getting the finances in order.. It always seemed there was something! It was difficult for me because I like to have everything planned!

You will get there though. It will be fun moving into your new house! Maybe try and focus on doing some decorating etc. August does seem like a long wait, but I've noticed lately how the time is flying.. It's scary sometimes! It'll be here before you know it.

**booflebump** · Mar 11th, 2009, 15:17 PM

Oh un - sorry to hear that. Fingers crossed you get your nice big apartment and then your oh might see a baby fitting in there too! xxx

Mar 10th, 2009, 10:05 AM	#1
sleepinbeauty Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: NY, USA Posts: 3,298	Had another talk with OH.. ...and we will DISCUSS the POSSIBILITY of TTC in August, not actually try. Needless to say, I took it pretty hard. He feels like he's backed into a corner, I feel like I've been ripped into pieces. "Can't guarentee I'd be happy and I know I wouldn't put in a much effort or love that you would." I know that.... sigh I guess I'll just focus on the move. We're very excited about that. I hope we get the bigger of the 2 apartments we applied for! We're waiting to hear back for the real estate lady. We might be moving within the month!

Status: Offline

Mar 10th, 2009, 11:35 AM	#2
mikababy Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Ingatestone, Essex Posts: 730	You poor thing. I can relate to that completely. My OH and I have been together for 5 years and I have wanted a baby for the past 3. We were finally meant to be TTC last August (when we got married) then in the New Year and then in the Summer. When each time came he would say it wasn't the right time. Unfortunately for women I don't think we really consider all the practical things like income, moving house etc we just want a baby NOW and now is the right time for us. I know it's really really hard, but try to concentrate on getting your 'nest' in order and getting things sorted first. It will be much better if you're both really looking forward to things and planning together rather than him being reluctantly dragged into the baby stores (and feeling like he's somehow being coerced) and you feeling resentful because he doesn't seem that interested in it all. I did think about getting 'accidently' pregnant, but I'm really glad I didn't now. Want to wait until we're both ready (even though it's bloody frustrating at times!)

Status: Offline

Mar 10th, 2009, 11:43 AM	#3
sleepinbeauty Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: NY, USA Posts: 3,298	Yeah, I couldn't do that to him (have an 'oops') I thought i might be having a genuine one this cycle, but AF showed (I'm so glad I didn't say anything to him about it) He says that he feels no need, feels no drive to have a family, anything. It kills me. I hope things get easier for you, too.

Status: Offline

Mar 10th, 2009, 11:45 AM	#4
Serene123 Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 32,048	I'm not mentioning TTC atall to Rich now untill I actually want to. He has agreed to talk about it in the summer, so I'm waiting.

Status: Offline

Mar 10th, 2009, 14:56 PM	#5
sleepinbeauty Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: NY, USA Posts: 3,298	yeah, I guess that's my plan now too. Not that I'm not allowed to--he says that if i need to talk that I should but uggghhh....

Status: Offline

Mar 10th, 2009, 16:10 PM	#6
Jewels Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 389	I'm sorry to hear that... It is SO hard waiting, especially when you just want to set a date and be done with it. I experienced the same kind of thing with my hubby - he would say we will have a baby, but never give me a set time. Then it was getting the finances in order.. It always seemed there was something! It was difficult for me because I like to have everything planned! You will get there though. It will be fun moving into your new house! Maybe try and focus on doing some decorating etc. August does seem like a long wait, but I've noticed lately how the time is flying.. It's scary sometimes! It'll be here before you know it.

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2009, 15:17 PM	#7
booflebump Other BabyandBump Team Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 19,615	Oh un - sorry to hear that. Fingers crossed you get your nice big apartment and then your oh might see a baby fitting in there too! xxx

Status: Offline

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