I just had my first appointment with my so called consultant and i am disguted by her manner. She had absolutely no bedside manner or sensivity whatsoever!! Firstly i was made to wait 40 minutes,then i was called in without a hint of an apology. She waved me over to the bed and i lied down. The first thing she said to me was "has anyone told you the risks of identical twins?" to which i replied no, but ive read about it.

She then responded " there is a condition called TTTS which can happen with id twins as they share a placenta. Basically it means that one gets all the nutrients while the other gets none and eventually they both die" !!!!

I lied there in shock as to how blatant and coldly she said this. She then went on to say that is why they will scan me every 2 weeks so they can look out for this. If my twins get TTTS i will be referred to another hopspital where " they will try to split the vessels so they can get equal nutrients".

When i said to her "when you say "try" how sccesful is this?" she said that they do laser on the placenta but it doesnt always work and one of the feutuses could die or both coul die"!!!

"But only 25% of women get TTTS so it doesnt mean it will necessarily happen"

I am soooo angry with her! She has so insensitive and cold about it all. After making me wait for 40 minutes and then scaring me witless she took al of 10 minutes scanning me, then told me that everything is ok at the moment that they dont have TTTS and that i couldgo now! Arrrrgghhhh!!!

She didnt even ask me ifi had any questions or give me a chance to ask anything! Maybe im being a bit sensitive and hormonal but surely this is not the way to speak to a pregnant woman who is already feelin anxious? Surely you can make her aware without putting fear in her? And surely you dont have to use the word DIE and BABIES in the same bloody sentence!!! Arrrrrgggghhh.

Sorry people - rant over. Just had to blw off a bit off steam. I really dont want to see that woman again. Dont know if i should ask for another consultant.

I'm sorry you were treated that way...I would have had a fit. I had a similar issue with my OB originally. They deal with this so often, that they become numb to it. I had to remind her that although SHE deals with this a lot, I DONT and do NOT feel that it is very kind to be so cold to me. She is really nice this time :-)

I am sorry things went so badly. Maybe you could ring and ask to speak to her and explain how she made you feel and that you felt she was more than a little pointed?

I do think they become immune to things.

I suppose, if you look on the brightside, if she has a dreadful bedside manner, she must be a brilliant consultant, otherwise I doubt they'd keep her on.

Wow..very uncalled for! I wonder if she was exhausted, maybe coming off of a birth, and she left her manners and bedside manner where ever she left her brain! Good grief..I would give her one more shot, then switch if you can!

that is disgusting and you should not have been treated like this at all, you can ask to be refered to different consultant and maybe worth spkin to your community midwife about this also i'd get in touch with your hospitals PALS team as it is stressful enough expeting identical twins without this consultant adding to it heather x

That is terrible. She obviously thinks she is very superior! a-hole! lol
x

Thanks for understanding guys, my OH made me feel a little bit lie i was overreacting. He was also unimpressed with her but while i wanted to complain about her and swap consultants immediately, he felt we should wait and see what it will be like next time. I also read the ntes she made in my book and she put that i was made aware of the risks of TTTS and was also made aware of preterm labour with twins. Yes im aware that twins can come early but not from her - she never even mentioned labour!! She just scared me witless, scanned me and threw me out without even askig if i had any questions or discussing the labour with me! Feel like she just couldnt be bothered! Oh well, we'll see what she's like next time!

If it makes you feel any better, I found I had to be quite 'pushy' when asking questions. I don't think I would have got any info about the birth unless I had sepcifically asked. I guess to them they are dealing with now and know what to expect later on, whereas I didn't as I know it varies from hospital to hospital.

I would give her another chance, especially if your husband will be with you, and maybe wrtie down what you want to ask and say 'oh, I wrote some questions down as I felt I came away a bti uninfomred last time'.

Everyone has bad days. I know that is no excuse, but you just never know what might have happened that day and maybe she is usually really nice.

Sorry your appointment didnt go so well. But its pretty normal to wait a little while for consultant appointments, sometimes I have to wait up to 2 hours lol take a book with you next time.

And with regards to the birth some consultants and midwifes don't even really mention it till you are further along.

I think you should give her another go and like the other girls have said write down questions that you want answered so you don't get sidetracked xxx

I am sorry to say that this attitude sounds horrifyingly familiar

I have come across some really bad consultants/registrars in my many dealings with obys and peadiatricians. When Evie was in intensive care I was actually shouted at, yes shouted at by her consultant!

I had queried them giving her steroids over the phone - not realising that it had been an emergency at the time. As a result the consultant reduced me to tears in front of other parents and staff in IC. Her manner was appalling. At the end of the day, I as a parent have every right to query any treatment being given to my child - but even if I hadn't, she had no right to treat a vulnerable, already distraught Mum like that.

On the whole, the staff were brilliant, but there are some really dodgy ones. They range from insensitive to outright hostile. I believe that many of them find it hard to deal with worried, anxious parents and so become cold and heartless.

Don't take any c**p love, you really shouldn't have to put up with this attitude at such an important time. We made a stand, and the woman in question completely changed her attitude from that point on - it made her stop and think about how she was coming across and made her change for the better.

Good luck, and don't let her make you lose hope for this pregnancy - TTTS is not a foregone conclusion. Even if it does happen, it's amazing what can be done these days. xxx