separating twins at school ????help

becky77 · Apr 2nd, 2009, 09:07 AM

Hi i know this is not a baby related question, but i know there are some great ladies on this site, so here goes.

my twins (boys) start school in september and i want them kept in the same class as i have read severel studies that say it can be detrimental , and even traumatic to sepaerate twins so have decided not to as they are both confident and happy at the moment, and starting school can be scary enough without being wrenched from your twin.
but i had a chat with there nursery teacher today and she thinks i should seperate them as she says they seem to play as a unit and do a lot of things together and sometimes this can be overwhelming for other children, so now i dont know what to do ?
i thought maybe to ask if they can go in the same class but be seperated to sitting apart and doing group stuff in different groups, and surely there is plenty of time to seperate them when they have settled after a year or so .

help all advice welcome

Scally · Apr 2nd, 2009, 10:46 AM

I am a twin and me and my sister were separated at school. I am also a teacher with twins in my class at the moment.
Separating them- sometimes good, separate friends, more likely to get their own identities, less competitive, but can cause problems when they first start because u r trying to get them to settle and be apart from each other
Keeping them in the same class- they are more likely to stick with each other, so making friends harder, they may become competitive, but at least they then have the support of each other.
I think it all depends on the parents wishes, and how confident your children are. The twins i have in my class at the moment, i do try to separate them in activities and group work and they are now getting separate friends (a year on)
I hope this helps a little, good luck x

alloyd519 · Apr 2nd, 2009, 11:11 AM

I've thought about this too, even thought I have a couple years until it happens, but i've heard that teacher's would rather them seperated, and I mean it could be a good thing because they could have their own identities and friends and so on but I don't think i'd like it either. Just because they're twins they have to be in seperate classes?

I think i'm gonna be like you and want them together, I think you should ask her like you said if they can just sit seperately. I'd like to know what happens with this so keep me updated!

Aria · Apr 2nd, 2009, 15:25 PM

Have you asked them how they'd feel about being in separate classes? How do they do when they're apart?

lcside · Apr 2nd, 2009, 15:40 PM

I am a twin and I was kept in the same class with my sister. We have always been close and enjoy spending time with each other. We did play together with the same group of friends but also have different interests so had separate friends aswell, it was never overwhelming.

I am also a teacher and have experienced both keeping them together and separating them. We had identical twin girls who were separated and they cried everyday so after a week they put together and they are so much happier. In primary school I think it's better to keep them together and then maybe as they get older they could be separated. xx

coccyx · Apr 2nd, 2009, 16:01 PM

Have no twins myself but my friend has 8 year old twin girls. She asked them to be seperated . Worked fine for them. They tend to be referred to by their names rather than 'the twins' as if they are 1 unit.

Helen · Apr 2nd, 2009, 16:06 PM

I think I'd go with whatever your gut instinct is telling you. I'm planning on waiting to see what they're like at the time. If I feel that one dominates the other or is louder/more social or one seems brighter then I'll probably ask for them to be separated but at the moment they are miserable without the other even if one is just taking a nap!

I have to say I am worried about them being classed as one person "the twins." People say that now and it makes me wince. I've heard that if teachers aren't sensitive to the issues around twins you can find that you only get one time slot at parents evening or that they compare them to each other. Not helpful!

aSh_x0x · Apr 8th, 2009, 11:20 AM

im a twin, and my mum put me and my twin sister in the same class for our first year of primary school and then seperated us the following year. This i think was perfect, me and my sister are very close and starting school and not knowing anyone can be very overwhelming for children, if they have each other, the process will be less daunting...

Family friends of mine had twin sons and seperated them in their first year of school, and it ended up that one of the boys made alot of friends in his class where as the other boy ended up playing with his twin brother and his friends during school because he wanted to be with his brother and ended up making close to no friends of his own in his class..

Hope this helps

NatalieW · Apr 9th, 2009, 12:38 PM

I teach three sets of twins at secondary level... they are all in the same classes. I don't think it's an issue when they are younger but when they are older it might be worth asking them if they want to be seperated. I find it hard when writing reports on the three sets of twins because they are all identical and feel kinda bad if their reports are similar...

JASMAK · Apr 10th, 2009, 19:08 PM

I am an identical twin. My sister and I were in the same class, except in grade one. It was horrid, and they put us back. We even shared some university courses together. The ones we did together, we did better on.

Apr 2nd, 2009, 09:07 AM	#1
becky77 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: hereford Posts: 1,529	separating twins at school ????help Hi i know this is not a baby related question, but i know there are some great ladies on this site, so here goes. my twins (boys) start school in september and i want them kept in the same class as i have read severel studies that say it can be detrimental , and even traumatic to sepaerate twins so have decided not to as they are both confident and happy at the moment, and starting school can be scary enough without being wrenched from your twin. but i had a chat with there nursery teacher today and she thinks i should seperate them as she says they seem to play as a unit and do a lot of things together and sometimes this can be overwhelming for other children, so now i dont know what to do ? i thought maybe to ask if they can go in the same class but be seperated to sitting apart and doing group stuff in different groups, and surely there is plenty of time to seperate them when they have settled after a year or so . help all advice welcome

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Apr 2nd, 2009, 10:46 AM	#2
Scally Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 4,089	I am a twin and me and my sister were separated at school. I am also a teacher with twins in my class at the moment. Separating them- sometimes good, separate friends, more likely to get their own identities, less competitive, but can cause problems when they first start because u r trying to get them to settle and be apart from each other Keeping them in the same class- they are more likely to stick with each other, so making friends harder, they may become competitive, but at least they then have the support of each other. I think it all depends on the parents wishes, and how confident your children are. The twins i have in my class at the moment, i do try to separate them in activities and group work and they are now getting separate friends (a year on) I hope this helps a little, good luck x

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Apr 2nd, 2009, 11:11 AM	#3
alloyd519 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Milwaukee, WI Posts: 1,455	I've thought about this too, even thought I have a couple years until it happens, but i've heard that teacher's would rather them seperated, and I mean it could be a good thing because they could have their own identities and friends and so on but I don't think i'd like it either. Just because they're twins they have to be in seperate classes? I think i'm gonna be like you and want them together, I think you should ask her like you said if they can just sit seperately. I'd like to know what happens with this so keep me updated!

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2009, 15:25 PM	#4
Aria Pregnant (Expecting) Inactive Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Redwood City, California, USA Posts: 874	Have you asked them how they'd feel about being in separate classes? How do they do when they're apart?

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Apr 2nd, 2009, 15:40 PM	#5
lcside Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Worcestershire, UK Posts: 926	I am a twin and I was kept in the same class with my sister. We have always been close and enjoy spending time with each other. We did play together with the same group of friends but also have different interests so had separate friends aswell, it was never overwhelming. I am also a teacher and have experienced both keeping them together and separating them. We had identical twin girls who were separated and they cried everyday so after a week they put together and they are so much happier. In primary school I think it's better to keep them together and then maybe as they get older they could be separated. xx

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2009, 16:01 PM	#6
coccyx Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: with the camels Posts: 2,578	Have no twins myself but my friend has 8 year old twin girls. She asked them to be seperated . Worked fine for them. They tend to be referred to by their names rather than 'the twins' as if they are 1 unit.

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Apr 2nd, 2009, 16:06 PM	#7
Helen Other BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,833	I think I'd go with whatever your gut instinct is telling you. I'm planning on waiting to see what they're like at the time. If I feel that one dominates the other or is louder/more social or one seems brighter then I'll probably ask for them to be separated but at the moment they are miserable without the other even if one is just taking a nap! I have to say I am worried about them being classed as one person "the twins." People say that now and it makes me wince. I've heard that if teachers aren't sensitive to the issues around twins you can find that you only get one time slot at parents evening or that they compare them to each other. Not helpful!
Helen Other BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,833
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Apr 8th, 2009, 11:20 AM	#8
aSh_x0x Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: australia Posts: 210	im a twin, and my mum put me and my twin sister in the same class for our first year of primary school and then seperated us the following year. This i think was perfect, me and my sister are very close and starting school and not knowing anyone can be very overwhelming for children, if they have each other, the process will be less daunting... Family friends of mine had twin sons and seperated them in their first year of school, and it ended up that one of the boys made alot of friends in his class where as the other boy ended up playing with his twin brother and his friends during school because he wanted to be with his brother and ended up making close to no friends of his own in his class.. Hope this helps

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Apr 9th, 2009, 12:38 PM	#9
NatalieW Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,230	I teach three sets of twins at secondary level... they are all in the same classes. I don't think it's an issue when they are younger but when they are older it might be worth asking them if they want to be seperated. I find it hard when writing reports on the three sets of twins because they are all identical and feel kinda bad if their reports are similar...

Status: Online

Apr 10th, 2009, 19:08 PM	#10
JASMAK Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: CANADA!!! Posts: 10,951	I am an identical twin. My sister and I were in the same class, except in grade one. It was horrid, and they put us back. We even shared some university courses together. The ones we did together, we did better on.

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