My Icsi Diary For 2008
In November 2007 I was trying to get pregnant after 5mmc and 2mc
Nothing was happing for ages , I was very fertile having being pregnant every year and was clueless to why i was constant getting a bfn and having hundreds of bfn test sticks and ovulation sticks ,
I went the doctors then went to see my gyno who i am under for mmc
and he give me a lap and die and took blood to see if i was ovulating
when my results come back they was normal ,
I had no blocked tubes and was ovulating so the next step was test my husband .......
My husband swimmers was tested and the results come back that they was not at there greatness for some reason they went from being excellent to
not so excellent and the doctor said i would need help getting pregnant
as some of the swimmers cant make it to the egg with out help.
Also that i could get pregnant but could take another 5 yrs to get another bfp with out any help from them.
So in november we was called up for the icsi evening meeting all excitied
we felt really positive about getting pregnant and keeping our baby
in jan 2008 i was told to give the clinic a call to start all the treatment
to get lots of eggs etc onec my period had started ,
I was Waiting and waiting no signs of my period 5 days passed
i had a pregnancy test from months back that was not used so i tested
it came up negative for some reason i placed it on the shelf and never thrown it away and for some good reason i was glad i never because when i went back just to check it that evening to my suprise there was a second faint line........
I couldnt belive it
the next day i got another to be sure that came up positive and then i told my gp who sent me for a scan at 6wks
thats when i was told i was having twins and all was fine
Due to all the missed miscarraiges i have had in my life time
i felt unsure and felt somthing was wrong due to pains i was getting
so i went to the emergancy room just for reasurrence .
The babys was fine the pain i was getting was just growing pains
so away i went on cloud 9 It was then the daunting day my 8wk scan
My first pregnancy my baby died at 10wks and my other babys died at 8wks
so when i got to my 8wk scan first time since my first pregnancy the nurse
said babys are fine , I laid there tears strolling down my face with joiy
that was the day i thought this is it i am gonna be a mum at last
i went over to see the doctor who told me i had graduated and not to come to miscarraige clininc anymore.
My 10wk scan i lay there thinking babys was fine and for onec i really felt positive that baby was really healthy but sadley the nurse turned to me and
said sorry we cant find a heartbeat your babys has died at 8wks 1day
going by there size,
I lost two girls that day and thats when i lost all hope in ever having a baby
My gyno said there was nothing wrong with girls and he does not know why it happend all bloods were fine there was no sighns of thick blood or clots anything at all and that he could not do any more for me as i am not testing positive for anything so all he could do was continue with asprin and fragmin injections he had give me with the twins pregnancy but this never helped
Asprin and fragmin is rountine now and docs give it to all recurrent miscarraige ladys who have had more than 3 and its unexplained,
So i belive there is somthing that is being overlooked so i went to st marys
to see lesley regan one of the best doctors i had lots of blood taking
and go back in november and i am hoping and praying that there will be answers to why i have thesa mmc and hoping and praying for a miracle
miracle treatment should i say.
So after my mmc in june just gone i had Icsi where i get the strength from i dont know i try to belive maybe some day and live in hope thinking positive
i had lots of eggs and a good womb lining but come to egg collection they
only collected 3 i know it only takes 1 but its nice to have more
One egg went to grade 6 and one egg went to grade 2 so i had thesa both put in 2 days before test day i tested and got a very light positive
it was past 12 days and hcg injection is gone out your system by day 10
i thought i was pregnant but come test day it was negative
I still dont know from this day if it was or if it was by chance the hcg injection
but i did feel implantation pain its like a pulling pain and this i had felt,
So cutting this Long Long story short Lol
Before we went to st marys we thought about ever having a child of our own and the pain we put our selfs through and after burying the twins in march
carrying your childs coffin is somthing no one ever wants to do and defentley
not want to do again .
So me and my husband sat and talked about adopting a young child under 3
possible a baby , we went a head and we are starting training in june 2009
so come 2010 we might just have a baby even though it wont be our own
we will love it like he/she is our own .
Why all this is going on we still have icsi left on the nhs and i have thought and thought about it what if what if ,
So i am going to wait for my results back from st marys in november
and if there is anything they can do to prevent another mmc then i am going to go a head with the icsi in december and hope and pray that on our last attempt we will have a child of our own
So December 2008 we will start icsi and i will be back to report with any news
Good luck every one having Icsi/Ivf/Iui/
Hope you all get BFPS for christmas
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