I should just add that we had another power cut last night. 10 minutes doesn't sound like a long time, but when you have really expensive drugs getting warm in the fridge it's a lifetime!!

Have also (finally) got round to doing our funding letter. I don't know why it's taken me so long to do. You'd think it would be top of my list

OMG get them drugs insured

Day 9 of IVF Cycle

Bleurgh...

Worn out today. Had a terrible nights sleep last night. OH woke me up at 3am to tell me that the power had been off (yes, again!) and I needed to reset alarm clock. We think the longest it had probably been off was on hour so all was ok. It then took me an hour and a half to go back to sleep.

Had to get up early to go for 7-10 day scan in middle of Leeds. 8:45am appointment wasn't the best idea as it meant trekking through the rush hour to get there. Got to hospital in time and they couldn't find a record of our appointment, in fact our onsultant was in Brazil. Turned out they had us down for next Thursday at the same time. Even though that will be Day 16 then apparently that is still ok for a 7-10 day scan

More tears from me afterwards. I was so knackered from the previous night and early start plus the hormones probably didn't help. OH as usual was wonderful and just gave me a big cuddle. Been really busy at work today so it took my mind off things, just looked dog rough all day!

H

xx

Day 11 of IVF Cycle

Ahhhh... feeling loads better today. Went to bed before 10pm last two nights and had lovely long lie in to about 9 this morning. Just been into town and ordered myself some new glasses and parked near this gorgeous jewelry shop. Have also bought some new earings as well.

Retail therapy, you can't beat it!

H

xx

Day 12 of IVF Cycle

Oh well, I know I am supposed to be relaxing but it's not really in my nature. Been for a run this morning, though just a short one as I'm a bit out of practice. Been having a baking day as I love cooking. Made two different kinds of biscuits and now on with an apple pie. Yum!

Still sweating at night and the odd hot flush during the day. Not too tearful at the moment. Actually, if I'm honest (at this point) this is nowhere near as bad as I thought it might be. One interesting thing is that my skin seems to be clearing up. I've never been particularly troubled with bad skin but I've usually got a zit on the go and at the moment it feels quite good.

Just had a load of leaflets dropped off that OH and I need to deliver before the end of the week for Part 2 of village open day. He's at work at the moment then off to visit his Dad in hospital so I may head off in a bit and get rid of them. Have also decided that it's time to clear out the tomato and pepper plants that are taking over the conservatory. Started with good intentions and had the odd flurry of interest but I don't have the patience for constant attention. ( :think: What sort of Mother would I make?)

Broke my promise to myself not to drink at all during this process last night and had a teeny weeny glass of wine. I've been cutting back so much on it lately, that that was all it took and I can't say I particularly enjoyed it. Don't worry, sure that will all change when I emerge out the otherside (one way or another!).

I'm being hassled by my friends, my OH, my work colleagues and my parents to try and slow down and take it easy.... the question is, how do you slow down someone who likes being busy?

H

xx

tie heavy objects to them

Day 13 of IVF Cycle

Heard from ex-sis in law (she's divorced from my ex-DH's brother and we stayed in touch) today that her IVF cycle failed. She has 4 frozen embryos so is hoping for another go next month. Fingers crossed, although with 6 kids already, you'd think that'd be enough! They're all boys though, so I think she's going to keep going until she gets a girl!

Came home from work tonight and spent half an hour just sitting in front of the TV and trying to relax. An absolute first for me. It was hard going though, cos there was nothing at all on! :wall:

H

xx

P.S. What kind of heavy object?

Day 14 of IVF Cycle (2 weeks in!)

Had a bit of a tough day today. One of the staff wanted to see me with his Manager. I'm always a bit nervous about that sort of thing as it usually means something is wrong. Yesterday, I'd given this same guy a load more responsibility because someone else was leaving and I was expecting him to tell me he couldn't cope.

Anyway, thankfully it wasn't bad news. He wanted to tell us that his wife is 8 weeks PG. I switch into HR Manager mode and congratulate him and tell him about paternity leave and how to register for it. His Manager's g/f had a baby in July so the topic of conversation couldn't help but get round to babies and nappies and all that sort of thing.

His Manager knows that I am having IVF although I don't think he knows we're in full flight at the moment. I could see him taking a sneaky sidewards "is she ok?" look at me now and again. Well, I wasn't really ok. I was dying inside, full of all the usual jealousy and self-pity that being infertile brings with it. I hate feeling like this. Tears kept welling up and being forced away again.

Afterwards I took myself off to the loo for a self-pitying cry and noticed that my hands had some pretty deep fingernail marks in them.

H

xx