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Old Oct 27th, 2006, 12:55 PM   #141
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If it's any consultation I gave myself a panic

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Old Oct 29th, 2006, 13:48 PM   #142
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Day 47 of IVF Cycle
16 days since Embryo Transfer
Day Before PG test


I am dreading tomorrow. I felt quite positive yesterday, although I kept catching myself saying "please, please, please, please" inside my head. I'm not religious so don't really know who I'm asking!

Today I feel a bit flat and just want it over now. In my heart I just don't feel PG. Not that I have ever been PG so I don't know how I should feel, but I thought I might feel something. I just can't get it out of my mind.

Went out to retirement do of ex-bosses last night. Everyone was lovely cos I'm still off sick and were asking when I'm coming back. A few folks know what's going on so were wishing me luck (in between telling me how rough I look! ) Funny how the people how don't know what's going on were telling me how good I look! A few people said I looked really thin, although I feel so bloated at the mo, I can't quite get my top button done up on clothes. The bloating hasn't been as bad the last couple of days. Nor have the sore boobs, another reason why I don't feel that PG. There were a couple of PG women there. Gah!

Free bar and I couldn't drink. I don't mind not drinking or getting fatter if I'm PG, but if I'm not it gets me really narked thinking I missed out. Also recreational BDing has been off limits the last few weeks which is proving somewhat frustrating! Hoovering has also been off limits and I won't be happy if that's back in my life!

If it's negative then I think we'll go out for lunch where I am going to drink a very large glass of wine and then come home and go to bed with OH. The hoover can stay in the cupboard!

H

xx
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Old Oct 29th, 2006, 14:12 PM   #143
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Just wanna wish you all the best for 2moro
I am crossing everything for you
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Old Oct 30th, 2006, 07:12 AM   #144
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Wishing you all the luck in the world today hun

Loads of baby dust and glue being sent your way

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Old Oct 30th, 2006, 07:45 AM   #145
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good luck helen i really hope its BFP

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Old Oct 30th, 2006, 07:54 AM   #146
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sooooooooooo much luck coming your way from me hun.

Hope its good news!

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Old Oct 30th, 2006, 09:46 AM   #147
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Helen I am thinking of you hun SO much & praying it's good news x

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Old Oct 31st, 2006, 11:14 AM   #148
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Day after PG test

Have I mentioned I'm pregnant? Still totally unbelievable even 24 hours later. I feel so odd saying it!

Yesterday morning as you can imagine was absolutely horrendous and wonderful in equal measures. I woke up at 3.30am desperate for the loo, but determined not to go. I had to take in FMU into hospital and was worried if I went, the one I did later would be too weak. There was no way I could sleep with a full bladder so these two little voices took over in my head:

"oooh, you need to wee in the night. Maybe, just maybe..."
"don't be daft, you often need to wee in the night, it just depends how much you have to drink during the day"
"yeah but you didn't drink anything after 8.30 so that you would have a concentrated wee in the morning"
"yeah, but you can't be PG. You don't feel any different and you never have any luck on PG tests. Why would this be any different?"

and on and on and on....Arrrrgggghhhh I was exhausted and pretty tearful by the time we got up. On the way to hospital I kept checking my bag for the little pot of wee. I'd put it in a carrier bag and sealed it in case it leaked so they could test from the bag. There was no way I was coming back tomorrow!!

I'd also brought all the needles and drugs and sharps bins we had left over back. I knew if it was a BFN I'd want them out of the house. Got to the hospital and more tears in the car park. Pulled myself together and up we went. Gave the sample to the receptionist and sat in the waiting room. Normally I have a nosey at the other folks there and wonder what stage they're at. Don't remember looking at anyone. OH was laughing because they finally put a new magazine in there. All the others are 3 or 4 years old. They kill me when you look at the celebrity couples and the fashions.

The nurse called us into a little room. They have a sofa in there so it's quite a nice place to be. She went off to test my sample. I was in floods again and OH was doing his best to comfort me. I kept saying to myself, she's going to come in and say "I'm really sorry, but...". The door opened, it was another nurse who thought the room was empty. A heartrate monitor would have been interesting at that point! Finally after what felt like hours, the nurse came back and said "well, it's good news. You're pregnant".

I was screaming and crying and sobbing and laughing and hiccuping all at once. OH and nurse were laughing away at me.

The only down side is that my hormone doses have doubled (particularly for OH!!). The nurse said "are you onto your legs yet?" We need to cycle between legs and bum to give each place time to recover. So another big bag of drugs, another load of needles and more bruises. But I don't care!!!! The nurse said I might have a bit of a dead leg this morning from the jab... hmmm... slight underestimation....I'm limping around. That's going to be hard to disguise at work especially when both legs are like that!

Rang my Mum at work as soon as we got outside. We're both big criers and she had a similar reaction to me. I could hear her colleagues laughing and cheering in the background which was wonderful. They were hugging her and passing her tissues. Fantastic! I waited for that moment for so long, it felt so good. I just wish I could've seen her face. Rang my Dad at home after that and he was thrilled to bits. You could hear the relief in his voice. He said they'd had a terrible weekend, hardly sleeping.

Going home was really odd. We were both really quiet and calm, until OH confessed that he was born ginger and we had a good giggle at that. (Not that there's anything wrong with ginger btw. It's a long story but OH made a terrible faux pas once about a baby with ginger hair).

Went out for lunch on way to hospital to see his Mum. She's doing so well, off the oxygen mask now, just one of those nose thingy-ami-bobs and had been sat in a chair for a little while. Should be out of intensive care in the next few days. OH was a real tease. She was saying "well?" and he was saying "what?" all innocent like he had no idea what she meant. In the end, he nodded and said yes. You should've seen the beam on her face. It was worth all the worry of the last couple of weeks. He's not a huge one for emotion, but he looked a little watery eyed. Bless him.

After that went to see his Dad who was round at his brother's and told them. They were all really pleased.

Texted my colleague at work, who's one of the other Managers and has been covering for me (aka fibbing about where I am) the last few weeks while I've been off. He rang me back and said he was taking me on a "date" when he's in next week to celebrate me coming back to work and being PG. Back to work tomorrow. How the hell am I going to keep this quiet until Xmas?

When I woke up this morning it took a little while to hit me again. I'm pregnant and not only that... this means we're having a baby and we're going to be a family. Amazing, absolutely amazing.

H

xx
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Old Oct 31st, 2006, 21:24 PM   #149
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I know I replied to your ahem post, but still follow your journal Helen and reading todays entry I just want to say CONGRATULATIONS again. I'm so happy for you. Reading your post brings tears to my eyes I'm just so thrilled for yoou after all you've been through. Sending you and OH best wishes and truck loads of baby glue
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Old Nov 9th, 2006, 20:12 PM   #150
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It is fantastic new Helen!!! My cousin has just got a BFP, she too had IVF WOOHHOOOO!!!!
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