HB

Wobbles

Everything is still tightly crossed for you Helen.

x

Helen

Day 33 of IVF Cycle
2 days since Embryo Transfer
15 days to PG test

Went to my hairdressers today (I know it's Sunday, it's a long story!). She had her appointment to see her IVF specialist since I last went across. She was really anxious about IVF and what effect it would have on her and her body. Anyway the upshot of it is, that her and her DH have taken the really brave step not to go ahead with IVF. I thought she was incredibly strong to have made that decision. She's effectively acknowledging that she will never have a biological child of her own.

It's more like therapy than a hair appointment really as I've been going for 13 years. We ended up blubbing and hugging each other. She's says she thinks I am the brave one, but I think her decision is far harder and it must have been really difficult for her to see me today.

The good news is that they would like to look into adoption. They are going to give themselves to the summer to grieve and come to terms with their decision and then hopefully start the long process for adoption. I know they will be brilliant parents as they are both such warm and friendly people.

Also saw another old mate for lunch afterwards. She's in a relationship with a much older bloke (who's had the snip) and she desperately wants children. All her friends and family are telling her to end it. She's so unhappy and says that she flinches when he touches her, but she's so warm hearted she can't bear to do it. She'll get there in the end though and I can't wait to see her get her sparkle back.

Had to take my pee-jug with me today..into restaurant. When was hugging my mate goodbye it took us both a second or two to realise that I had the jug in one hand which was wrapped round her. Ooops! It was in a bag and she did see the funny side!

H

xx

HB

Tam

Helen

Day 34 of IVF Cycle
3 days since Embryo Transfer
14 days to PG test

I love the thought of "mini travellers"

Having the weirdest day today. OH's Mum got taken back into hospital yesterday (a couple of weeks after she had some gall stones removed) because she was passing blood. OH went to see her and said she looked really tired and was on a drip. Had a call this am to say that she had been taken into theatre because she is still bleeding.

OH is desperately worried about her and has rushed off to be with his Dad, who as you know was in hospital himself a few weeks ago with his heart troubles.

Been wandering round killing time before I have to go in for my blood test feeling really concerned about her and the whole family. I've pretty much decided that there is quite enough stress without work as well and will beg doctor to sign me off on Wednesday when phone rang....

It was embryologist from hospital to say that 2 more of our little ones had made it to the blastocyst stage and will also be frozen with the 4 we already have. I am so overjoyed I cannot tell you. I've been bawling my eyes out. Most exciting bit was the embryologist said it bodes well for mini travellers I am carrying now because they were the best ones of the bunch.

Rung OH straight away of course, but it's so hard. His priority has to be his Mum right now and its so hard to be completely happy when you're so worried about someone so important to you. Just want to give him a big hug.

H

xx

HB

Helen

Day 34 of IVF Cycle
3 days since Embryo Transfer
14 days to PG test
Part 2

Our day has got far worse than this morning. OH's Mum was in theatre 4.5 hours in total and is now in intensive care. OH has been with his Dad all day and I've just been over to see them. She's all rigged up to tubes, machines and flashing lights and looked so tiny in this big bed.

She's really, really poorly. We saw the Doc this evening and he said that she was "bleeding to death on the operating table". Apparently it was touch and go today. OH has really gone through the mill, he's exhausted. They think it is her bowel and they will need to remove part of it, but they don't know which bit. They've put these sort of colostomy bags in in a couple of places and if she bleeds again they will be able to tell where from. It's just a waiting game now.

They said even if she doesn't bleed again, it will be at least 3 months before she is back to anywhere near normal.

Hospital nurse was so lovely about finding us a place to inject tonight. Went into a relatives room and he put a sheet up at the door for privacy.

We know she is in the best place but you can't help but worry.

Told a couple of the Managers at work that I am definitely going to ask to be signed off on Wednesday afternoon. Enough is enough frankly and I need to put my family first now.

H

xx

Arcanegirl

Caroline