My long winded story so far!!
Hello Girls,
I've been nosying in on everyone else's journals, so thought I'd start my own.
I'm a primary school teacher and I'm. I was dead against ever having children all through my teens and twenties. DH and I have been together for almost 13 years, and married in July 2004. At this point I was still dead against the baby thing. Then everything literally changed in the course of one afternoon 3 years ago. Watching a friend play with his daughter in Greenwich park, my body clock suddenly started ticking with avengeance, and I was desperate for a child. It was like a moment of complete enlightenment. Spoke to DH about it and he was dead against it still. I went on and on at him, to no avail for almost 2 years, getting myself in a right mess emotionally. All around me friends and workmates started having babies and I got more and more desperate.
I eventually (and this is the terrible admission) took matters into my own hands in Spring 2007 and stopped taking the pill. I'd not had periods for the last 18 months of being on it, and was getting really worried, alongside desperate for a baby. I guess I just expected to find myself PG in a couple of months, and then deal with DH's reaction. I'm pretty sure he would have stood by me to be honest if that had happened. My periods took over 3 months to come back, but finally I was back to normal about a year ago. After a couple of cycles (which can be any length!!) I started using OPKs, and managed to entice DH at pretty much the right time, but still no BFP.
Eventually, after we moved house out of London early this year DH gave in and said we could start TTC!!!
I also started seeing my doctor about the lack of
, as I have a family history of early menopause and was starting to panic.
February I thought I was PG, and believed that the relief of DH knowing I was TTC had done it. AF was late and had tons of symptoms, but stupidly held off testing.
Got horrible AF a week late, and now think this may have been a chem. preg.
May I eventually got my
. All the same symptoms as in Feb, and I was delighted. DH was slightly shocked, but OK, and pleased (I think) that I would now stop nagging him about OPKs and drinking. Sadly I lost my LO though. I was sent for scans as I was in a lot of pain, and my LO was there, but dead at 6.5 weeks. I bled at 7.5 weeks, and the emotional pain has been awful. I discovered B&B at this point and have been addicted ever since.
Sooooooo: I am now back to TTC. DH is half-hearted about it, and I've decided not to tell him what the OPKs say from now on, if I can manage it.
I'm now 8DPO. I have had some mild bladder pain, and so seem to be needing the loo quite a lot, and breasts feel a tiny bit tingly, but nothing like the symptoms in Feb and May, so I'm not holding out much hope this time, but will still be gutted when the
flies in next week.
Hopefully future messages won't be as long and drawn out as this one!!!!! Thanks for reading if anyone has actually managed to plough through this!
Good Luck to everyone else TTC!!!
Niki xxxx
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