Kerryanne

cd 45

still nothing aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! H.E.L.P

This is the longest cycle this year.

I still getting cramps, but they are quite dull and not sore at all.
bb feel heavy and sore sometimes.
cm is still creamy and quite alot of it tmi

Taking maca which is awful, getting empty capsules, as tryed it every paste, putting it in drinks, honey, its sicking, but i feel great with it, and i have this burst of energy.
Right now am rubbing the powder into a banana which doesn't taste so bad.

BD last night. And doing my usual stuff.

I just keep thinking about getting pregnant and how worth it, going through this stress and thinking about it all the time, will be worth it once am pregnant, trying to say postive about it all, i've now been trying for about 5 months.


Hope everyone is doing good

to everyone



xxxx

wishing4ababy

Oh my god!! 4 times more likely??? I am not allowed to have a VBAC - I have to have sections. Now I am scared.

Kerryanne

why are not allowed to have a vbac ??

If my hospital tells me am not allowed to have a vbac in the house. then am getting a independent midwife.

You should read anything by ina may gaskin, she is the best midwife in the world.


Yes and the 4 times more likely is true. Thats why your only really allowed 4 c-section. Plus there is evidence that babys who are born by c-section have breathing problem, which mattew had he breathed really werid, and he always chokes on his food, its getting better now.

There's so much risk in having a c-section, but it does save life, but also some are unnecessary. Doctor believe that normal pregnancy is not tell after the event. Where midwife believe pregnancy is normal until proven other wise.


http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/lif...cle3037202.ece

There's something for you, so your not thinking am talking rubbish.

But i wouldn't worry as the doctors know what there doing.
And am still here, even though my machine broke when i was under and i went blue and my heart stopped. of course i don't remember anything, but when i was under, my auntie annie was there (She died 2 weeks before) and she was holding my hand, it was in a dark room, other people where there but i couldn't see there faces, i know it sounds werid but i do believe she was there looking after me.

xxxjacquixxx

Hi kerry, thanks for dropping by my journal..

Your boys look gorgeous BTW!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your crash c section didnt mess with your body too much and you get a very soon.

luv Jac xxxx

Kerryanne

Thank

I did a test cause this cycle has been so long, , i know that anyway, but just wanted to make sure ifswim. i know am driving myself mad. i feel really upset by all this, not knowing whats going on etc etc

I have now got abit of back pain

Same, i think it might be by body trying to get back to normal, what with the c-section, then the coil then the depo. I should have just used condoms (Even though i total hate them) until everything was ok again after c-section.

Good luck too you

wishing4ababy

well after I had my ds i got pg again really quickly and totally unplanned. All the way through the pregnancy they told me that i could try for a vbac but they wouldn't induce me and they wouldn't let me go more than 7 days past my due date. Right at the last minute (2 weeks before my due date) i had to go and see my consultant - who has never met me, was not present for my first birth, and actually wasnt there for my appointment but sent one of her minions to see me - said that there was no way they were going to allow me to try for a natural birth. I was devastated. I really really wanted to give birth naturally. so this time because i have had 2 sections i know that there is no way they will even let me try to give birth naturally.
your experience sounds a lot more traumatic than mine hun - I was awake throughout the whole thing, and apart from my blood pressure and my temp dropping quite a bit afterwards i was ok - and of course it saved my life and that of my sons. I was really down about the whole thing afterwards - felt as though i had in some way failed as a woman. Think i am ok about it now - but no one has really told me the exact reasons why etc and i would give anything to haev a natural birth. I guess the only thing that truely matters is that I have a healthy baby at the end of it - and I am still there to tell the tale!!!!

Kerryanne

Yeah it was awful, even afterwards when they were so awful to me, not letting me touch matthew or hold him, and when i sneaking (Thats so bad) they would come in and shout at me saying i was going to kill my baby cause i would fall asleep, plus i cryed for 2 hours afterwards cause of the shock, and they told me too "shut up" and "was i like this at home" They wouldnt help me out of bed, and told me too do it myself. It was a nightmare.

If your trying for a vbac then they can't induce, as this could double your chances of rupture, and the whole 7 days over due is aload of crap, if i get pregnant am going until i go myself, well i will have too because i can't get induce and there is no way am having a c-section unless it puts me and the baby in danger again, it scarys the crap out of me.

And the reason am not having a vbac in the hospital is that they end up putting you on a EFM and i don't want that, just for the fact you can't move much with it, as it mess the readings about, plus there is evidence that show it doesn't in fact do anything, the whole point of it was to decect problems with the baby. Also they only give you a time limit on labour, which i don't want to be unpressure
Plus hospital in the uk are so unstaffed in some parts, they are not there for you in that sense and it like your a number to them and thats it.
Most people who have homebirths, know there midwife, and build up a friendship etc i think this is a better way, as you can trust the person more if you have that trust.

How i know all this stuff, is i want to be a midwife, and i have a few student midwife friends and i read alot of stuff on it

You will be fine But why wouldn't they let you though, was it do to a reason ??

genkigemini

HOLY CRAP! If my doctors spoke to me like that, I would have made such a scene. I can be a right bitch if needed. LOL

Honey... thanks for dropping by my journal and reading it all. I am so impressed! Sorry to read about your awful C-Section experience. That is terrible! I really wish you all the luck in the coming month getting your cycle in order and I hope we both move over to 1st Trimester really soon!!!!

Kerryanne

It wasn't doctors, it was midwife's, I only seen two doctors, one when everything went up in the air, matthew had 15 mins to live. And the other one was when i was discharging myself out of there (My grandad had died and i couldn't stay there any longer) It was the worst thing i have ever went through, it took me a long time too get over it, well not fully, i still have nightmares, and flash backs. I keep thinking am mad for ttc. My family wanted to say something, but i told them no, i just wasn't thinking, i think i was in so much shock. It took me a long time to bond with matthew because of them!! They were so awful, there was alot more that happened, but i don't like talking about it much as i end up breaking down.


Thanks by the way, i hope so too, I hope everyone on here gets a bfp, as they are such lovely people. I believe god all has a plan for us, we're all going through this for a reason, If that makes sense at all .

Kerryanne

CD 46

sore bb and they have got bigger (which is great ) and are heavy too.

No more cramps really just some ones.

Bloated, feeling light headed also.

Also got back pain.


cm is clear with bits of white and wet there quite alot of it.

Cervix is high and hard to reach, which has been like that for the last two days. and feels short and flat and closed. its feels bigger on the top cause its flat. Do you get what i mean ??

What does this mean not good with all the this cervix position stuff can someone please help out..

Thanks