Mendy

Went in for my last IUI, and things are not looking good. RE came in and said DH's count is lower than it's ever been...out of the total 5 million sperm collected, only 1 million were good sperm they could use, so that's what I got....1 million is the lowest they go to do IUI, and anything under 5 million is not a good chance, so I'm on the lower end of a successful pregnancy with IUI.

I'm already not feeling good about this cycle, I mean, I KNOW it only takes one, but it didn't happen when there were 2 million and it didn't happen when there were 3 million, so what makes me think 1 million will do the trick?

If it doesn't happen this time, then we will do in vitro, but it won't be for about another year or two. We just really need to get some $ saved up for it...and I sense a horrible meltdown coming 2 weeks from now...I just FEEL it.

Especially because if it doesn't happen I have to wait a looooonnng time before we even start trying again and before I can start thinking about the possibility of holding my own baby one day.

I can' believe how involved and how emotional this TTC business is....there are days I honestly feel I can't do this any longer.

I know I'm sounding like a little whiner right now, especially because there are others on here who have tried way longer than I, but I can't help it.

This is just how I'm feeling right now.

Chris77

Hey hun, just wanted to stop by to wish you the best of luck for this cycle!

Mendy

1DPO...Nothing to report except tiny bit of cramps here and there...and a little pain in ovaries early this morning...maybe I was ovulating? That's about it!

Mendy

2DPO...Again nothing to report. Little twinges and tugs here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary. No cramps, no sore BB's.

Mendy

3DPO....been feeling some dull kind of tugging sensations in ovaries, tubes area, and deep in the middle of my womb. Hope I'm explaining myself well! No other symptoms.

Want to keep a record of all my "symptoms" if that's really what they can be called!

Mendy

Forgot to update yesterday...

4DPO- (TMI) lots of creamy CM, a weird pain/discomfort on left side. Not sure if it was tube or uterus, but on the left side. Never felt anything like it....hmmm.

Mendy

5DPO- Still creamy CM, much more than yesterday during the morning and early afternoon, but seems to have almost stopped from noon until now. Don't know if it will continue. No other symptoms. Oh, dull pain down by the top part of the uterine area, only for a few minutes, then stopped. No sore bb's or anything else.

Now I wish I would've kept note of my symptoms during last two IUI's so I would have something to compare it to!

Mendy

Forgot to update last night:
6DPO- pretty much same as 5DPO....creamy CM, only it lasted all day, but dwindled down towards the evening. No other aches or pains our weird tugs and pulls. No sore bb's.

Mendy

7 and 8 DPO.... forgot to update yesterday, but it's the same story for me. Creamy CM both days, but it seems to almost disappear during the evening and through out the night, it's just mostly during the day. No sore bb's, felt a little dizzy yesterday, but thinking that was because I was so hungry, I hadn't had any lunch! This morning as I was driving to work, I felt a little pressure in my womb area, sort of towards the middle somewhere.

Other than that, no other symptoms.

How I wish I made of note of my symptoms last month! I can't remember if I had all this creamy CM then, or if this means good news now!!!

Mendy

9 DPO....creamy CM, though not as much as the last few days. Felt a weird pain on the middle part of womb...kind of hard to explain. Have a slight headache. No sore bb's.

5 more day till testing. Don't know if I will be able to, or if I will just wait for my expected AF. It's so hard because if this hasn't worked...it's in vitro for us and a long year before that happens.

I also came to the realization that 2 days ago we hit our one year mark of TTC. Last week I was very aware of it, but I forgot about it when the actual day came around. I'm trying not to let this get me down, but it's so hard. I remember a year ago starting out, excited and hopeful and testing month after month, thinking...this may be my month. Well...here we are 12 months later and...nothing. Not even a freakin Evap line on a HPT to give me some kind of hope. Not even a hint of a possible secondary line on the HPT's ever.....don't even know if I CAN get pregnant. I don't know how joyous that feeling must be, and I don't even know when, and IF I will get pregnant. It's so damn hard and frustrating! Why me? And why us? People who started trying along with us got pregnant AND had their babies and we're just on the sidelines waiting, and waiting, and waiting. I am SOOOO tired of waiting!!!