Mendy

So my friend text me and the message said, "use the baby center website, it works, but don't tell anyone at work yet until I tell my boyfriend."

So I write back, "so you are saying you're pregnant?" and she said yes.

She's been trying for 2 months!!! After 2 f*ckin months she got her BFP.

So I wrote back, thanks for suggesting the website, but me and DH are past that, its his low count that's making it next 2 impossible for us." So she wrote back saying, "sorry, i'm praying so it happens for you."

This is so crazy!!!! I can't believe this sh*T. I'm happy for her, bu I feel sorry for me. I think I deserve a BFP. I wonder what I ever did to deserve this pain and suffering. I don't get it....

Mendy

I was on CD14, but my ticker starts over tomorrow, since I will stop birth control and that will bring on AF. I have clomid and gonal-f shot and my next appt is Aug 18 for next follicle evaluation and IUI on 19th if all is good. This is my LAST chance with IUI. RE told me there's no sense in continuing if we don't conceive with this third IUI. So it's either donor sperm of IVF....
And donor sperm is not an option.

If this IUI doesn't work then we will do IVF, but we need to wait so we can get some money saved up for it...we may end up having to wait another year or two before we can have our own baby

celine

*hugz* Mendy, you are so brave girl Ill keep you in my prayers.

Mendy

Today is officially CD1, I am off BCP and start Clomid Sat, CD 3-7. I'm nervous and excited, as this is my last IUI....I hope it works!!!

The girl from work I mentioned earlier in my journal (about 2 weeks ago) came in to work happy and cheerful today. She was so excited about this baby.

She left for a meeting early, and at about 12 pm, my supervisor called me in her office. She told me this girl had miscarried!!!! I felt horrible! I felt like I was being told I had lost MY baby!!!

I started thinking about how depressed and sad I felt when she announced her news to me, and now I can't help but feel a little guilty for feeling that way. So I called her and left her a message, saying she could call me if she needed me for anything, I would be there. She text me back saying she appreciated it, and that she was praying so we both could get our 's.

It's so sad, and sometimes life is so unfair....

celine

Hi Mendy im sorry about that girl from work dont feel guilty but on a good plus side, you have a ttc buddy that you can share with
hope the iud # 3 is the lucky one
x

Mendy

I don't know what's up with my body this cycle, but normally after BC pills AF comes and I start Clomid CD3. I started Clomid last night, but AF hasn't showed....last 2 cycles AF was there, like clockwork. I know I'm not PG because I just had a baseline sonogram on Weds, and from there RE recommended Clomid. Plus, I had my regular AF 2 weeks ago, this one should have just happened because I stopped the BC pills hormone. I don't know why it's late, I just hope it doesn't ruin my follicle size or endometrium lining for my next appt....

Mendy

I started spotting last night and AF came this morning.

Finally, I was getting a little worried!

IUI can be as soon as a week from tomorrow!!!!

celine

Good to see things are looking positive for you

Mendy

I had a dream last night that I had POAS and I was literally standing there looking at the result and it said !!!

I remember in my dream telling my Mom and my aunts, and for some reason DH was not home, but when he got home I showed him and he was soooo happy!

It was such a GREAT feeling to be pregnant at least in the dream, it was a happiness I couldn't explain. And then....I woke up.

I felt like crying when I woke up and had to face the reality. It's like it just wanted to be rubbed in my face, what I want and cannot have....it was so disheartening, I didn't even tell DH how I felt after I woke up, but now as I'm writing this I have tears in my eyes.

On the brighter side, I have my appt on Monday for follicle evaluation. If they are the correct size, then I will get trigger shot and IUI on Tues.

This is my LAST IUI...I'm really begging and that I won't have to go through any more of this!!!!! To be honest, I'm scared of having to do IVF. It's so invasive and there are soooo many medications....I will do it if I have to, I'm just hoping it doesn't come to that....

I hope it all works out..

Mendy

Went in for my follicle u/s today and was told I have 2 good follies, but my uterine lining is too thin. I was given Estradiol....a vaginal TABLET?! I had never heard of that before, bu once all this is said and done I'm sure I will have gone through things the average person hasn't.

I am to insert one today, which I already did, and one tomorrow morning and then at night. I have to go in tomorrow to get my trigger shot, and IUI will be at 2 pm on Weds, Aug 18.

I was also told (AGAIN!) by RE's that if this last IUI doesn't work we can start doing the in vitro stuff....

I really hope this one works for me!

I saw countless pregnant bellies and babies everywhere today while I waited, made me so sad!!!!