Mendy

And I can't wait. I've been stressing about it so much...I just wish I could test TODAY! But I haven't really "felt" anything, and I know it's pretty dumb to base it off that, because it we could "feel" pregnancy we wouldn't rely on a pregnancy test. I just wish my body would just show obvious signs of SOMETHING, whether I am or not....WHEW!!!! I need patience!
The good thing is me and DH are going on vacation starting Thurs...hopefully that will take my mind away from the whole baby ordeal. We are going to Indiana for his side of the family's reunion. It may be good or bad...they may just bombard me with baby questions....we will see. Anyway, I am supposed to test the Tuesday before we leave, but I think I will wait for Weds night when we are home....I don't want to have to face all of them if what I have is a BFN!!!!

Mendy

and tested Monday afternoon when I was supposed to wait until Tues morning. I should have waited until Weds night as I had originally planned because I got a
!!!! I couldn't believe it!!! I literally cried ALL evening and woke up with eyes so puffy I could barely open them. It hurts so bad...but all I can do is keep trying. Now I'm just waiting for AF so I can start over with another round of IUI. I called the Dr to tell him we wanted to do 3 or 4 cycles of IUI regardless of what he thought. He said ok, but sounded skeptical. I don't care. I would like to prove him wrong. If it doesn't work, then I guess me and DH will have to start planning for it now and saving for an IVF....
Come on AF!!!! Let's get you over with so we can start again!!!

Kerryanne

so sorry about ur BFN

Hope ur next cycle you will get a

Hope ur ok

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mendy

Yeah, I'll be ok...it's just hard to see some people try for a month or two and fall pregnant, how people who don't plan for it or even want babies fall pregnant, and the people who want a baby don't seem to have that same luck. Just today I visited my friend at the hospital who just had her little girl. I'm happy for her, but I'm also sad for me, and just holding that baby made all my emotions surface. Thanks for the support!

Capuru

Hi Wow you've been on a roller coaster ride yourself. The good thing is that the doctor did do tests and at least you know why and that's a good start, most doctors want to wait a year but I've noticed these things can happen to anyone at any age and if the person feels something isn't right they should have the right to get whatever tests they want. The doctor said everything looks normal for you, I have heard that there are ways to increase sperm count and like your OH said it only takes 1 I myself would not be able to do the whole sperm donor thing at all it's just not the same. I hope the rocky road only gets smoother for you

Mendy

TMI!!!! Thick brownish red discharge today....not heavy, actually very light....I'm thinking this means is not too far off. DH got home from work a few hours ago and told me he had a talk with his boss who had IVF and has a beautiful baby girl now. Stuff like this gets my hopes up. I just HATE the WAIT and wondering how much longer it will be before we have our baby. I am so impatient!!! I'm still going through with my IUI's.... in the meantime we will start looking into the IVF. Been feeling kind of down today, it must be the PMS kicking in....lol!!!

Mendy

And man, have I been on a roller coaster of emotions today. First off, the little bit of hope I did have that my BFN could have possibly been a BFP because I may have tested too early isn't there. When I saw my flow was here this morning I felt like crying. Then I was watching this movie on Lifetime, just turned the TV on and there was a movie, and the scene it was on was about a woman who had just POAS. She was waiting and BEGGING God to not be PG because she wasn't ready. And, yup, you guessed it, she was!!! I was like, yeah, of course she is...she doesn't want one so she doesn't even have to try hard! LOL. I can't believe I got so worked up about a movie, but in reality, that's how it is...or how it seems to be for us TTC. Then, as the day went by, I realized that since my AF is here and my ultrasound can be as early and Monday, THIS Monday, which means I go back to Clomid and the shot, AND I have yet another chance of conceiving, and it's right around the corner.
Why do I have to be so emotional?!!! I really do hope I get in to the Dr's for an appt on Monday though, and don't get put on BC pills again while I wait another week or two before getting seen....
BTW....Hubby's been at work since 6 am this morning, so he doesn't know I got my AF, I'm just hoping I don't drive him crazy with mood swings when he gets home!!!

Mendy

So I called the Dr's office today and told them I was on CD3 and needed to get in ASAP because according to the Dr I had to get in the first 3 days of my cycle. The nurse asked if I had taken birth control on CD2, and I said no, cause the Dr didn't give me any. She said I should have started taking whatever was leftover from last month to put everything on hold in case they couldn't get me in within those 3 days...I really was hoping I didn't get put on BC pills for a week or two and have to wait again, and have 2 AF's in a month. Well, she ended up managing to squeeze me in for tomorrow. She told me to take one BC pill today and go in for my appt. I was so excited to hear tomorrow!!! This means I will start Clomid again and the shot and have another go at IUI #2. Can't wait!!!
I also had to go in and do some blood work, first time doing that, so not really sure what the Dr wanted me to do that for...I'm sure he will explain tomorrow.
BTW....DH sent me a txt msg at work today, with a website for IVF here in San Diego....I'm glad he's so supportive and very involved in everything. If it's at all possible, he accompanies me to every appt, even the ones he doesn't need to be there for! I don't think I could go through this without his support.

Mendy

Went in and had my sonogram done today, and Dr told me I will continue taking BC pills for today and tomorrow. Saturday I will begin a round of 100mg of Clomid, for 5 days and Gonal F shot on Friday. My ultrasound for follies evaluation will be on Mon Jul 7th, my birthday. Dr said we can continue doing more IUI's but with DH's sperm being so low, he just wants to be realistic with us and tell us the truth. He said even though chances are low, it is not impossible, and he said we really should be looking into in vitro as well. So...I told him we already were but I still want to do 3 or 4 rounds of IUI so I know we at least tried and didn't give up so soon. Plus IVF is too expensive and it looks like we are going to have to put in some over time at work to start saving for that! I really do hope it doesn't come to that though! So here's to a hopeful ROUND #2!!!!

Mendy

So I've been on Clomid since CD3, and tonight will be my last 2 pills. Friday I do my Gonal F shot and Monday's my appt. I can hardly wait. I'm VERRRRY hopeful for round #2. So far, Clomid has been great to me, thank God! I've had some mild hot flashes, especially at night, and I've woken up sweating, but I'll take that any day over any of the other crazy side effects people get. So I can't complain too much. Now I'm just this will be it for us.
Going to visit my Mom tomorrow and through the weekend in L.A. Can't wait! Haven't seen her since March!!!