Coffee

CD2
After some initial excitement yesterday morning when Af hadn't showed (and she usually shows first thing as soon as i get up), got me yesterday afternoon.
P***ed off today!
'Nuff said!

TrixieLox

Sorry hon. xxxx

Coffee

CD3
Feeling happier today!
yaaayyy!
is still hanging around, but i am starting to think about the next cycle now and get in a positive frame of mind for it.
I am going on holiday in a few weeks time though so to be honest, i would rather not get pg next cycle as i want to be able to drink lots and lots of lovely wine while i am away and completely forget this whole TTC nightmare ever happened!! It would just be typical though if i got pg next cycle, just when i don't want to!! I will be due my AF the day before we set off on our jollydays so that should be an exciting week for me really - excited about going on holiday and will be exciting as will be ending the 2WW and finding out if i finally, finally have a sticky bean!
Have to say though, its been a while now! Getting nearer the one year anniversary of starting TTC... starting to feel like maybe we might have a medical problem, because if not, why hasn't it happened before now?
Anyway, i won't dwell on that for now as i want to give it another couple of cycles before i go down the "tests" route. Might go for an internet search now and get some inspiration and hope from stories of other ladies who were long term TTC-ers and eventually got pg. I am determined to stop getting down over TTC!

Coffee

CD10
Not really sure what to write. I'm not very good at this journal lark. Just felt i should write something really....
Nothing new to report with me, same old, same old! Still not pregnant! Waiting for ovulation, then i can get on to waiting for AF, then once gets me for what feels like the millionth time this year i can wait for to go, then i can start all over again waiting for OV... life is just one big long waiting game, with a big old waiting room, where i completely wish my life away between waits....
Eeeek.... i was fine until i started writing this... think i have just depressed myself....
Think i need to go back to skulking in the background and posting the odd message once in a blue moon..... its when i start to talk too much i have problems...!!!

nicola647

Just popping by your JN Coffee - to say thank u so much for the words of wisdom today, you have made me think a lot....

TrixieLox

Keep us posted with your news, lady! x

Omi

Yeah, whats new and exiting? You've been away a long time..

Coffee

Hey,
Not been on for ages as just been feeling really down and didn't want to be a misery guts to you all.
AF was a very cruel 8 days late this month. Usually i am regular as clockwork. I did 2 tests, both but as you can imagine, this didn't really stop us getting excited as it was just so unusual for me to be late and i kept thinking maybe HCG levels just weren't high enough for a test. Hubby was talking names and all sorts! Shouldn't have let him get so carried away as just been feeling like a failure ever since now.
TMI but AF has just been really weird - very heavy, lots of clots, lasting longer than usual. Not sure what's going on. Am not going to panic about it though, going to see if this is just a one-off first as your body does do just totally weird things sometimes doesn't it! Not sure if anyone else has experienced anything similar to this before?
Trying to turn my attention to next cycle now and get positive, but to be honest, this has just knocked the stuffing out of me.

bird24

Hope your ok coffee - these things can be really horrible and hard sometimes....at least your in a new cycle now and should enjoy rather than thinking of it as baby making

I think that would be best for us all....i'm gonna ditch the thermometer this month and just have fun as no matter how much i temp thats not gonna get me pregnant is it

BIG xxxxx

Coffee

Thanks bird.
As you say, its just been a bit difficult as it really opened the floodgates. I'm sure i'll have forgotten all about it really soon, after a bit more BD-ing and i get into my next 2WW!
Sometimes you just have the odd month where it hits you really hard i guess? Me and DH keep having moments where we see cute ikkle babies and we are looking at them and smiling, then we catch each other looking and its so awkward! There's nothing to say to each other though as we both know the other is hurting just as much in those moments and thinking "wish that was me"!
I was supposed to be starting OPKs this month but like you i kind of think we BD enough anyway and its not going to get me pregnant!! Might do it just one cycle though to see how i find it.