Lucid

So, Ive been reading all your journals since I joined this site and have really enjoyed reading your times with this for some the hardest part of our life, so I thought I'd join in and keep something to look back on while hopefully getting my own *Fingers Crosssed*

So Im on a count down till my OV date, got another 8-11 days due to being late last month so Im not 100% sure when it will come, but it usually hits on the 9th of each month.

Me and my partner have been trying for nearly 2 months now, and its been a strange 2 months, very exciting and very nerve wracking, not knowing either way is making me do crazy things such as testing far to much on the wrong times, Im buying them and saying to myself yes I'll keep them till my OV date but nope, I cant help myself

So the only other thing I guess I should update on is the weird feelings of what Im sure many people have thought has been a but just hoping, Ive had a sore back for 3 days now at the lower part of my back, it did travel up to my shoulders last night but its back down there again, I also get this strange burst of feelings that I need to shake off a times, bit like a massive burst of excitement, then it dulls back off again, nothing else to report there, just clinging to straws as they say lol

So lets hope over the next 8-11 days I'll find out either way, my work is being a good distraction but isnt helping me and my partner get to the see we work together but work different shifts that turn around, he does the morning I do the afternoon/evening and then I do the morning and he does the afternoon/evening, I think it really has put a hard hit on trying to get things going, see my partner has never been getting a getting it on, on demand if you know what I mean, which is starting to worry me I asked him last night whether or not there was a problem but I reckon Im being paranoid and he's just tired with all the work we are doing as I know I am as well, and its never easy to be there on demand and getting alot of passion from it, well I know for me it isnt, just giving me a bit of worry incase I have or will miss this month.
Guess Im needing your girlys tips on that one hehe

Anyway Im rambling on and should be getting ready for another very long and busy 8 hour shift at work, so thankx for reading and I'll no doubt update soon.

Lucid xxxxxxxxxxx

yaya

Hi there Lucid

Welcome to the journals hun. I'm looking forward to reading about your journey -- hope it's a short one!

I can fully emphasise with worrying about bd-ing at the 'right' times and then feeling as if OH is maybe not fully with the programme & then as a result worrying about a whole lot of other relationship things!! You're definitely not alone hun -- my guy doesn't do well on demand either lol!!

Anyway, we'll chat more soon!

Sending you some to get your journal off to a good start!

yaya xxx

Lucid

Feels so good to sit down after a really pretty pants day at work

But last night when I came home from work my partner did step up and help me along heh even though we are both exhausted and its probably not the best night of passion we've ever had but its a pretty much very much needed thing to do.

My stress levels feel through the roof right now, Ive had a sore back for days now, I cant wait till my holiday in June, not going anywhere just me and my partner actually have some time off together for once.

I met someone I used to work with a few years back with her new born, I felt really bad but my heart sank when I met her, she looked so comfortable & happy being a mother, although she did speak of her 23hour labour which doesn't sound the best but he looks well worth it.

Anyway, I really need to find some energy somewhere to clean the house and get ready for the other half coming home later, might try my cooking skills again tonight haha, well what I have of them.

Write soon xxxxxxxxx

Lucid

My mother just appeared, she lives about 40 miles away from me so doesn't normally do that, so was quite a shock.

But she came to deliver me my chair's and she needed someone to talk to/support, she told me her and her fiance split this morning, so shes very very upset, she gave up everything to be with him and now is back living with her mother, I feel so bad for her and wish I could do something to help

What brought me here was love, strange but let me explain, it must be so hard to turn off the love between a parent and child, from either side, because despite her hurt shes still delivering my chairs and asking if she could help with anything ect, now dont get me wrong I have a massive ironing pile to be done but Id never ask her to do that.

I've been through a hell of alot with my mother and would never change her for the world, Id love to be in the positioin to give my child the unconditional love it deserves, at times I wonder if I will be able to, but then I think once I have my child I'll know its there.

I did try to drop into conversation that I might be trying for a family at some point but it wasn't the best time, I didnt want her to get anymore of a shock.

Anyway I was also wondering if there was any other ladys out there in search for a friend for a girly chat, bit of support over msn, email ect when needed Im finding this TTC quite lonley at the moment, with so many questions and worries but also so much joy and excitment, I have no where to let it out apart from with my partner, and I do sometimes worry Im putting to much on him and he's just thinking Im just using him for baby making dutys hehe, I know he doesnt but theres only so much I can talk about OV with him before he shuts off haha..

Ok so drop me a PM if any ladys out there fancy a chat
xxxxx

yaya

jolyn

Welcome 2 the journals. We're all here to support each other so just have a rant when u need it. We share all the pain, joys, sorrow - whatever u need us 4 x

Lucid

Hi guy's thankx for your replys

Yaya I'll drop you a PM just once I've finished this

I just took an OV test with my first pee of the morning and it say's Im good to go, thing is my partner is at work and our shifts swap again, as in he finishes and I start, so I wont see him till about 7 tonight, does that mean that since Im fertile at the moment, I wont be at 7 tonight? so bummed

Its another beautiful day out there today and Im having to go to work, depressing only two more days till I have some time off.

I really hope May could be my month, I doubt it though, Ive got 5 more days left till I can start testing and its really dragging, although one more way to look at it is Ive got 5 more days left of helping along a BFP heh

Oh well Ironing for work calls, take care everyone
xxxx

yaya

Lucid

Hey,

Im all new to this Ovulation testing thingy hehe so sorry for the confusion..

I took an ovulation test to see if its was a good time to be getting in the moood with my partner later and it says Im having a surge at the moment, but Im waiting for another 5 days until Im due my period until I start testing, thats what I've been told is the best Idea, might be wrong though?

Yea I hate hate hate working on a Sunday but oh well
I work as a baker not the best job in the world, its got alot of heavy lifting in it ect but it helps pay the bills for the moment!

xxxxxxxxxxx

yaya