TTC Journals

Helen · Oct 6th, 2006, 17:14 PM

It's so infuriating that things like this aren't covered on the NHS. Professor Robert Winston said a while back that infertility was worse than cancer for the sufferer. A pretty strong thing to say, but I think we both understand the sentiment.

OH and I are quite lucky because we've been able to pull together the money. We thought it would be really painful to do but it hasn't been as bad as we thought (OH may disagree!).

Have the doctors given any advice on how to proceed next? I presume you haven't heard anything yet from the hospital?

We're not with CARE, as there wasn't one near us. You could try here to find a clinic near you http://guide.hfea.gov.uk/guide/ This site also give success rates on IVF and ICSI.

H

xx

Wobbles · Oct 6th, 2006, 17:24 PM

Think the professor is right!

They have been a useless as ever really so we do hope a move & a new hospital will be advantage too.

I have plans to clear my credit card then go for the kill! OH said he'd help where he can then we can start with £2000 & put on top! Cleared £500 so far [-o<

Thankies for the link - I found a list of private fertility clinics so posted it on one of the other boards just seems there are still none too close so hoping they missed one

x

Tam · Oct 6th, 2006, 18:22 PM

Wobbles HUGE

What a journey babe......glad you phoned the hospital tho

But what a bunch of useless uncaring idiots the staff are!

Good Luck for the furture babe.....

I really like Dr Robert WInston, BUT I think Dr Robert Winston should have been more specific with his statement, as my Mum had cancer and fought for her life, every last breath of it, and I am sure something tells me that there is not much worse than being given a death sentence, and having to live with it knowing all that you are going to miss in life and leave behind, whilst having awful drugs which make you feel so ill on top of how you already feel, whilst also losing your mobility and independance little by little every day............I have seen it first hand!!

Sorry......but that annoyed me, I think that is a stupid statement to make especially by someone of his stature!

Sorry!! I just had to say that. it was a dig at him, not either of you, I obvisouly in my position do not understand the sentiment, but do understand what someone who has cancer, suffers! But I also realise there are many varying levels and types too, so maybe I am blowing it out of context, hence I said he should have been more specific

xx

Wobbles · Oct 6th, 2006, 18:36 PM

I think I understood or how I looked on his statement was could be as suffering but rather than thinking my position is worse than someone who has or does suffer from cancer like Helen says understood the sentiment.

My Nan who I do not know very much yet is my fathers Mother has not long been diagnosed with cancer With being an out of wed child shes not had very much to do with me well nothing at all since I was a bubba & cannot remember but Ive had my Aunt tell me every now & then whats going on & being done an my heart feels for her & I can never imagine what you & your family have been through Tam.

*Hugs* I know it wasnt aimed at anyone but the statement from this guy just wish Id of detailed my reply that little bit more

Tam · Oct 6th, 2006, 18:50 PM

Oh babe, as I said I am not in YOUR position so I can't understand the sentiment, Paul explained that maybe it is being told you are infertile is as devastating as being told you have cancer?!?! But again, he doesn't know, he is doing as he always does and trying to look from the other point of view........

You and the fact you didn't go into detail about why you agree, did not bother me at all babe, as I said, I do not understand what you or Helen are going thru, and that is the truth, I couldn't even begin to understand it but I do feel for you both and know that life deals people shit hands!!!

It was the statement in general that annoyed me babe, espeically from someone like him...........but I obviously do not understand why he used such a killer desease as a comparison?!?! Don't get me wrong I know there are survivors, hence I said he should have been more specific as sadly there are those that are not lucky enough to survive!

But I swear.......my frustration and anger was aimed at the comment, not you norr Helen, so please, neither of you take it as such, I think you're both great and so bloody deserving of what you are both fighting for and I would never try to take away from you the pain you both have experienced, as I have no idea and would not pretent to ever think I did have.

I really wish you both the best of luck for the future and hope you both have bundles of joy in your arms in the very near future

xxx

Helen · Oct 6th, 2006, 19:20 PM

Hi

Just wanted to say... no offence taken and sorry that my posting it upset you, Tam. That was certainly never my intention.

H

xx

Tam · Oct 6th, 2006, 19:35 PM

I know that Helen, and thanks for not taking offence babe, as it truely wasn't mean that way hun

xx

Tam · Oct 6th, 2006, 19:38 PM

Wobbles · Oct 6th, 2006, 19:56 PM

Maybe Paul has it right emotionally & mentally but like you not having seen or suffered cancer I can't begin to imagine.

I thought I'd try & put my fears into words though~

If I was asked to describe my circumstances in one word I would say fear!

I fear I have a permanent inability to carry my own child

I fear I will leave this world lonely

I fear my whole life being taken out of my control (as I feel now)

I fear the man I love will walk away one day if I cannot provide him with the family he hopes for

I completely fear never knowing what that feeling is, the sickness, the scans, the first kick, names, the birth, leaving the hospital with your newborn, registering your babys birth, first words, even getting up in the middle of the night!

I feel inadequate!

Not being able to bring a child into my life without choice doesn't seem to be my idea of completing life & I fear leaving my world thinking my life was taken from my hands & all the above was never an existence.

I have sobbed myself to sleep so many times feeling I dont want to be a part of the pain fate has hit me with Ive even been lay in the bath or sat on the bog & found my eyes have filled with tears I wasnt thinking about it but I knew why when I realized what I was doing.

Its made me weak. Ive had a fear of needles I dont anymore I had that much blood taken from me when I was admitted they couldnt get my thingy-me-bob in my hand before I went under it hurt so much I screamed & broke down in tears an that wasnt the end to bloods needles and tests ~ the feeling when I have self injected at home with fragmin & hCG makes me feel useless in some way I cant describe. Why cant I be that woman who was on the pill, fell pregnant & had a straight forward pregnancy?

I want to create a life a family not leave this world feeling I failed.

Tam · Oct 6th, 2006, 20:39 PM

I just hope your fears are overcome one day babe and you have what you so desperately want and deserve.

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