Ok, so I've been on these boards since November '07, but its never actually occured to me to do one of these things until now.

So here I am.

Story is:

Elizabeth (Me) meets Rob (DH), back in 2005. We have a cheeky snog, but we were both seeing other people at the time, so that is where it ended.
Fast forward to July '06, where we happen to bump into each other again. Rob is single, and I am in an unhappy relationship. I quickly end said relationship and shack up with DH instead .

All well and good eh? Well, no, actually. Because he lives in Wales, and I live in Reading, Berks which is 130 miles away. Cue 4 months of a long-distance relationship - only seeing each other at weekends. Until November '06, when Elizabeth gets a new job in Wales and moves there to be with her beloved.

Fast forward to January '07, when we get our first place together. A charming little 3 bedroom house (renting obviously - need to check that we can live together without killing each other first!). Two weeks after moving in, we buy a puppy. She's a staffie, and we call her Bailey. She is rather cute.

Zoom onwards to April '07. Rob gets down on one knee and proposes. Awww. I obviously say yes. In June '07, we buy our first house together and move in. A cosy two bedroomed terraced house in a quiet area. Life is good for Elizabeth, Rob and Bailey.

Next we organise the wedding - nothing too fancy, or expensive. In the middle of all this, we started discussing the baby thing. We were both keen to start trying, so on 1st Sept '07, we did.

The wedding day was set for 2nd November, so we thought that if I did get pregnant quickly, it would still be early days when we got married and my dress would still fit me. And us being stupid and naive, thought that it would happen straight away. Ha!

At first, we were adamant that we would not get obsessed by it. But as soon as we were back off our honeymoon, I was on the fertility websites buying stupid amounts of OPK's, HPT's, thermometers, and vitamins.

But every month since September, like clockwork, every 27 days, the stupid has shown her ugly face. And every month, it has been getting harder and harder to deal with. Until last month, I finally cracked.

I was CONVINCED I was pregnant - my boobs felt different, my skin had broken out, and I was sure I had seen the faintest of all faint lines on a HPT at 8DPO (I now realise I was just being ridiculously hopeful - there was, of course, nothing there.)

So when AF arrived, I was devastated. I spent the whole weekend in bed crying. Rob was worried sick about me, as was my Mum. I was convinced I was infertile, and that I would never get pregnant.

After having a long chat with my Mum, where she basically told me I needed to chill out about the whole thing and get a grip of myself, I agreed that I would give her my stash of TTC items - books, OPK's, HPT's vitamins, thermometers - EVERYTHING. And I have. I've paused my membership with FF, hence why if you click on my ticker, you'll just get a blank graph.

But I feel better for it.

I feel better not really knowing which CD I am on. I feel better not obsessing about why my temperature has dropped/gone up. I feel better not analysing my CM every time I have a wee. And I feel better for not holding my OPK's/HPT's under the light bulb to try and see if I can see a faint line.

So the new plan is:

1) Try and be as natural as possible until September. If nothing has happened by then, go to the GP and get referred to a fertility clinic.

2) This point is going to be a bit contradictory but hey - although we're gonna wait until September before looking into any in-depth testing, we're gonna go to the GP within the next few weeks, just so that Rob can get a semen analysis done. I've already had a FSH/LH test done, and that was apparently fine.

3) I WILL NOT TEST UNTIL AF IS LATE!! I NEED TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM NOT ONE OF THE 1% OF PEOPLE WHO GETS A BFP AT 8 DPO!!

4) I need to try to remember that we're still young and we have plenty of time. I need to not be so bloody impatient!! I'm going to be 24 next week, and Rob was 22 last week. THERE IS NO RUSH (yeah right - tell my ovaries that when I can feel them clenching every time I see a baby/child/pregnant woman )

So yes, this was a very long entry, but now you know all you need to know!

Hey Autumn, your journal is sounding very positive. I think you have knocked the nail on the head about relaxing whilst ttc.

I wish you and your DH all the luck in the world in your journey xxx

Good luck lovely xx

Thanks hun Hopefully we'll both be getting our BFP's soon!
xx

Hi Autumn
Glad you started a journal and that you have a good plan! I think we all understand how you feel. I wish you loads of luck

Hi Elizabeth, it sounds like you are doing the right thing. I'm sure loads of the girls will admire the way you've given up all your ttc paraphanalia!! Hope you enjoy the journals, here's some for your journal

Hope so lovely - like the new picture - stunning x

Aww, thank you

x

Hi Autumn Sky!
A diary is a fantastic way to keep up with your feelings and share you experiances, i hope it doesn't get too full for you!

Good luck hun, i hope you get that BFP very soon!

Love Ally x

to you sweet pea! Welcome to journaling!
I aggree just try and relax with ttc... you will get there hun! Keep ya chin up and keep thinkin positive! Here is a sprinkling of

It's good to see you in the journal section - I look forward to following you on your journey Darlin