hi hun

You are so good not testing. i seriously think i am addicted to POAS! i need help!
i think i am 9DPO or 12DPO depending on whether i ov on the thursday or the sunday!!! i am going to hold off testing now (well try not to) til at least wednesday!!! got no hpt's so going to steer clear of boots, asda, tesco - anywhere basically!!!
If i get a this month i reckon we will give it one more go - but i don't think i can go through this indefinitely again! feeling really down today - could be monday blues but i just don;t think i can keep putting myself through it! i am emotional, negative, spending a fortune on bloody sticks to pee on!!
anyway this isn't my journal so enough about me spouting - when is af due then hun? is it the end of this week same as me?

I'm really hoping that you get a BFP, so not fair when these tests seem to mess us girlies around, where in my case i've never seen a pos on anything and that worrys me too....need to do opks properly next month !!

I hate mondays, thats bad enough to make me feel really down and depressed....i was horrible to OH on saturday night after feeling down, going out for a mates birthday and drinking too much....i was so mean to him and he didnt deserve it at all so now i have decided i chill out or stop ttc all together as its not his fault if it doesnt happen. Think everything just got on top of me

anyway i've decided i need to be positive and just look forward to when it might happen (easier said than done but i'm gonna try) instead of thinking its never gonna happen and hope to be surprised i think i need a positive attitude to make it happen!!

I'm due around saturday if my cycle stays the same as last month xxx

i take it all out on oh too - bless him! he just walks out of the room so we don't have an either bigger row!! then i feel awful!
I really hope that we get our this month!!!

Hellloooo Bird

how u doing? did u have a nice weekend? i hope so, and i know what u mean about Not feeling PG. i feel the same. at the moment i dont have one symtpom.... not a dicky bird.... absolutley nothing

but, unlike you (your a very good girl ), i cant stop POAS, i think im officially off my rocker (well ever since i saw that positive test, i cant stop)

well, onwards and upwards, but pls dont give up ttc though, remember, no matter how crappy and down u might feel, we are all on this crazy rollercoaster ride together

Hey hun...i'm ok 1 minute i feel positieve and then the next minute i start feeling impatient and wanna know right now if i'm ever gonna get pregnant and i feel like i wanna curl up in a ball and cry....so stupid as i havent even been trying that long this time....

I never knew something like this would be this hard when some ladies find it soooo easy....

Its just so confusing and normally i'm so organised and like to plan everything i find this so hard as theres nothing i can do to make it happen lol

first i'm scared i wont be pregnant this month and how am i gonna handle the AF arriving, them i'm scared i'm not pregnant but AF might take weeks to arrive if my body plays around....then i'm thinking about my OP and i'm scared about that....i wish i could just shake it all off and be happy without worrying about it all....

I got too drunk on saturday night and then started crying to my mate about not being pregnant and i didnt even wanna drink but because i have no reason not to i just thought f**k it i'll get p*ssed and try and enjoy myself but it made it so much worse as i didnt even wanna be out getting drunk with mates i wanna be telling them 'so hun i cant make it tonight as i'm pregnant and cant drink, rather stay in with my OH and cuddle' lol so sad isnt it!!

How you feeling about it all, must be even worse after seeing a BFP and now wondering whats happening?
when is your af due?
xxx

Oh hun, im sorry your feeling so crappy and worrying a lot. pls try not to worry if u can (my mum always says "worry" is a useless emotion, because it cant change anything, it just makes u feel worse about stuff!!) easier said than done i know, but i think she kind of has a point bless her.

i went out fri night. i was drinking (and smoking silk cut - naughty girl i know) but i felt the exact same. i would have rathered i could phone the girls up and say "sorry cant make tonight, got to take care of the LO thats sleeping in my tummy, no alcohol for me, just a cosy night in with my OH !" But no such luck.... so i just thought b*llox to it, i cant put my life on hold and not drink Just In Case i am preggers (when the past 8 months i havent been!! FFS)

Then, to make matters worse, my office is in the centre of a high street. so when i ever i step outside im surrounded by babies, prams, kids, and pregnant ladies (not to mention the fact that Mothercare is just below my office too)

so it is very hard, and very frustrating, and i totally know what u mean. My ticker says AF due in 7 days, so im just going by that for now....

i have just bought a thermometer from ebay today to chart my temps for the very first time next cycle, and im Watching a Zita West book in "myebay".....

hope ur ok hun - hate for u to feel so down

I hate feeling so down as well....its so annoying and i'm annoyed with myself for feeling so crappy lol

i work in a town too and thats all i see as i go and get lunch is teenagers with there babies or bumps.... its like i envy them so much i start staring at them all around me and wish it was me with a big bump

I really need to get a grip...monday blues or what! lol

I'm thinking of charting next month too if this month hasnt worked, that way at least i could see if i'm ovulated....having not had a pos on opks either that might help me to be more positive towards it all

I'm suppose to be going to the gym tonight....my back is really aching as i must have slept funny and my tummy just feels horrible...sharp pains, bloated, dull pains.....i think its all in my head coz i think about ttc so much

Thats what i think, i start being positive and then think f**k it why am i even bothered not to smoke or drink....i smoked on saturday night too, havent had any today as i'm trying again not to after such a rubbish saturday night out....dear me i sound so depressive!!

i would love to be so surprised with a BFP this month....would be amazing....i cant imagine how happy i would be i just wish it didnt seem a million miles away....

i'd love to be in the 1st tri asking lots of questions and chatting about scan dates and due dates,.....hummmmm what a dream

Thanks for the hugs, heres some for you

ah girls - I am sending you massive
don['t be down - it will happen and soon i promise! there has been too many this month - the law of averages says there must be some - surely!!
Come on
to you both!
xxx

yes it would be nice to see some BFP's around here....lets hope we'll be posting ours very soon!!!!!

hugs to all!! xx

Hey Bird, yeah wicked weekend (mine and hubbys anniversary so we went to the zoo!) hehe, how was yours! Im so rubbish at getting back to threads i replied to, so sorry its late lol! I am currently 6 dpo and feel nothing anymore except for nips. Amazing really how I had so many symptoms and now im getting close to potential test time, i am losing them all lol! I felt sick as a dawwwwg the other day! I was convinced, but then reading other peoples threads, im less convinced-people keep telling me how you cant feel symptoms before implantation, but on two week wait website, preggo people have felt symptoms. Its well weird! Ohwell, best of luck for now chicko, will be back later to have a read xxxxxxxxxx
Not long to go now til testing eh x