Thought I better start a journal so I can have a look back and laugh at myself for being impatient and emotional through the TTC ups and downs!
I have been with my toyboy (5 years difference) for nearly five years now and he's finally ready to start a family and he should be proposing this year - apparently when the time is right, so that it is a surprise and done correctly! I'm guessing our 5 year anniversary in July.
Before Christmas I started taking folic acid and took my contraceptive patch off. Periods stayed regular 28days. Then patiently waited for OH to decide he was defo ready! Well one night we started to BD and he didn't reach for a condom! The next day he was ok but we didn't BD again for a couple of nights while he got his head round the implications of what this could all mean.
Anyway AF was due Feb 13 and didn't show, so on Valentine's Day I tested and got BFP - we couldn't believe it first try and we hit the jackpot!
It only lasted a short time and I had a M/C - I was so upset. We haven't told anyone we were ttc and now I have to hide my pain as well. This is why this forum is good for people like me and I have found lots of comfort from lots of lovely people on here.
The midwife was sympathetic and said I had to go docs for check up. he was sympathetic but being told it was 'normal' and 'if i hadn't tested early i never would have known', did not help. I won't be going docs again in a hurry.
Well it is 4 days until testing, although I started 8DPO with BFN so far. Was quite positive until today because can feel my hormones playing with my temper which is a usual AF due sign. Am quite tearful as well.
I've had a longer cycle this month so the waiting has been hard. I have been thinking about any symptoms I have but realise that normally I wouldn't notice most things, so realistically the only thing is dizziness. So if I get AF will have to go docs about that!
Maybe I should have started this journal on a more positive day?
Thanks K!
Just been loo and am spotting. FF said it may be implantation bleed as I am 10DPO and I pray that's what it is. I have had twinges on left side most of the day so who knows? What makes me doubtful is my tearfulness and mood swings which are AF signs.
Also am a bit upset as my mum gave me a little card with a prayer to St Gerard Patron Saint of expectant mothers, but i've lost it!It was in my handbag but now it is gone, also must have lost it in school so someone may find out! Mum doesn't know we are TTC but wants me to have a baby. I was going to post the prayer on here for everyone.
Today I am feeling better. The spotting yesterday was only a few dots in the end and brown, so I am almost allowing myself to get excited and believe it was implantation. Still had twinges on my left side when I went to sleep but when i got up knickers were clean. Little bit of colour when I wipe and abdomen is very warm but otherwise feel ok.
Did a test BFN but already knew that if it was implantation there wouldn't be enough HCG yet - so i'm ok about it and looking forward to testing tomorrow.
Temps are steady and still high.
I'm going shopping after lunch for a few Birthday presents and Easter Eggs (yum yum).
Saw you've started a journal and couldnt resist dropping in and wishing you tons and tons of babydust, babe!!
Also, i have that prayer you were talking about, i can post it here for you if you want it?
(Strangely enough it was given to me on my first day back to work after my mc and one of the women at work w/o thinking asked what i was off with. Seems everyone thought id been on a holiday! Not. Anyway, i sort of just whispered mc and she was horrified, said sorry, gave me a big hug.. and said she's been ttc for 2 years w/her husband and took out the card w/the prayer from her purse and asked if i would like to copy it.. aw, that was so nice and i nearly cried! I now keep it in my handbag.. anyway, if you want it Tansey I got it... Take care, hun, xxx)
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The following user says 'Thanks' to Omi for this post:
stay's away for you!
and mood swings 
which are AF signs.
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