Kaelia67

I shall turn the mouse trail's on OH's pc as it's always me that end's up with the nutty cat..it's about time the table's turn
2 of my 3 cats have also had abit of a scrap tonight, i had to play ref for a while until they forgot what they were fighting about!!

Yeah!!! We need as much help as we can get with the stork mission, he's abit of a mean bugger. We need tons of fish!!!
This will have to be a finely tuned operation. I think we should torture him for a while by shoving some pg tests up his ass!


xxx

Kaelia67

I have decided not to move from the chair i'm in as i have a headache everytime i stand up! You know the banging headaches that feels like there is a brick in your head? Yeah well it's one of them lol
Too much chocolate i'm guessing as choccy and pork seem to give me headaches and migraines from hell..

Well the start of this cycle is going rubbish if i must say, i can't be bothered to bd. OH said well if we don't bd your not going to get pregnant..lol errr and when we do we still don't manage it.
I know he's right but it annoy's me that we try soooo hard every month and we fail. If i don't get pg this month (which i wont) then we have reached a year of ttc. That pisses me off lot's.

I'm not down about it all just being realistic..i was looking forward to trying again this month but it seems a waste of time. I'm not even charting. I really can't be bothered. I even stopped taking pre natal vit's cos i think they are making me constipated and it seem's pointless.
I think i will ring my gp monday morning and see if he can fit me in. I should at least get the ball rolling.
It's abit lame to sit here whining on when i can get off my backside and do something about it.

I'm just terrified really. My old gp (before i moved here) suggested having test's for endo but i refused. My af's are a nightmare and i dread them coming. I suppose i'm worried it might be something like that and i have a phobia of operation's..well not operations exactly..i have a fear of being put to sleep..
When i had to have my d+c i had more pre-meds than anyone i know and i was still freaking out by the time i got to theatre. I lost the plot and had to be held down while i was injected. I wish i wasn't such a god damn wimp!

I'm not giving up ttc though..i'm a stubborn bint! I refuse to let this beat me!!
I keep having dreams that i get a bfp..but then i dream that i give birth to a hamster? What's that all about
I told oh about my dream's and he think's i have lost the plot..not surprised really lol
This all probably will make no sense to anybody reading it, it's the biggest pile of thought's thrown together lol
Sorry for my ramble's, i just need to let off some steam.

tansey

Hi K, Sorry you are so down! It is poo trying for so long - poor you You must go docs and get the ball rolling. As for the dream about a hamster - i looked up its meaning online (did not look up the giving birth bit ):
To see a hamster in your dream, represents underdeveloped emotions. You are distancing yourself from others so that you won't end up getting hurt. It may also indicate that issues of sexuality are trivial to you. You are able to separate sex and love.

Well what do you make do of that?

nicola647

Hi ya K

I read your post, it does make sense even though it was a whole load of thoughts thrown together.... that hamster bit made me chuckle to myself (the girls at work around me must think im a nutter)

i feel as though i can relate to you a bit , if i dont get PG this month, we will have been TTC for 9 months . although im 25. started TTC age 24. and my OH is a young healthy fit 23 year old. We BD like mad - all month!!! (and, as much as i would never say this to him, because he would be hurt, but it is starting to be a chore) and taking the vits is starting to be a chore too!! i was taking EPO, flaxseed, garlic, and a spoonful of honey and pre natal vits every day!!! its all getting a bit much, and im TERRIFIED of having surgery so im worried if after it has been 1 year and still nothing, if i go to my GP, he will send me to hospital, and they will wanna poke me around!!

I mean, cos i have No kids, and i want children so bad , i would just have to bite the bullett and go through with it, but i would be absolutley Bricking It!!!!

Omi

Hi Kaelia,

just go to the docs.. its better than not knowing and it may be something easily fixed.. ok, so you dread going under.. i actually dont mind that bit..so peaceful..and drugged up, legally, lol! ( and no, have never done drugs but damn, the stuff they give you is some powerful stuff )

But i digress, i might be wrong but worrying and not knowing must be worse, no? my mum, whos does NOT practice this technique herself (to my detriment) says worrying in advance w/o knowing is like worrying twice..

Try to relax and remember you dont have to do it loads.. i admire people who manage that..wish we could, but life and lack of sleep seems to get in the way.. and feeling a bit down doesnt help either..

I'll tell you what..when i went to docs to say i was pg the doc looked knowingly at me (probably thinking a woman of my age is well clued up, and yes i was however, id given up as i didnt think it was gonna happen ) and said..' and of course you've been on the folic acid' I just lied and very cheerfully (perhaps overly so) said 'oh, yes!' i hadnt taken them in a month!!! We also only had sex twice that week i conceived..and it had been a while before that!

Anyway, take it easy babe.. hopefully you feel better, no headache..and just take it as it comes! Its not supposed to be a chore and if it feels like it, relax get a bottle in..and just chill if you can, hun..it'll happen for you, i know it will.

By the way..from what i remember storks eat frogs and stuff no? lol!

Here's a big hug sweetie and when you feel up to it go to the docs..remember you dont have to sign up for anything you dont wanna do..

All the best love, sending you happy vibes and babydust!!! xxx

Kaelia67

Thanks tansey
The dream thing sounds good, i do distance myself at time's i guess. The whole hamster thing is crazy i know. But i dream i give birth to it and it's so small and cute and i really love it and i'm really proud of it

I'm so glad you can all understand where i'm coming from, sometime's i just blurt loads out and go from one subject to another and it makes ppl dizzy lol
I have decided to go to my gp's and nic i guess we do have to bite the bullet and go for it!
It's been quiet a long time now so it's about time i get the ball rolling. OH said he is prepared to go through anything to make this happen. Even if it means laying on a stone cold floor and having his testicles disected I told him it wouldn't come to that, he's such a numpty at time's but has a massive heart.

Thank's for the hugs ladies it mean's alot. I hate being a misery gut's as it's so noticable and a far cry from my usual silliness. Sometime's i think the silliness is just a mask at time's as i don't like being upset around anyone. I hate bringing the mood down. I'm abit of a strange one lol

Ahh you guys keep me sane
Oh and the headache has gone

Ewwww storks eat frog's??? That's utterly gross lol

xxx

Capuru

nicola647

Good luck at the docs K! keep us posted wont you.....

and bless your OH for willingly offering to have his nuts diseceted

have a nice weekend, talk to you next wk xx xx

Kaelia67

Thanks Girl's

Feeling abit more "normal" today lol If you can ever call me normal!
Went shopping with OH this morning, DD has gone to grandparent's for the weekend, DS is out with his mates Skateboarding. DD1 is going out with friends and is putting her slap on as we speak..Looks like me and OH have a bit of peace and quiet.
The girls are far more noisey in this house. My son is very laid back..he talk's like a parrot but the girls are REALLY loud!!
It's lovely having some peace..well kinda, OH is playing guitar hero on the xbox 360.

Kitties are even well behaved today..which make's a change. Although Jynxx did decide to run up the curtain earlier and wouldn't come down, i'm only 5'4 and couldn't reach him

I just did a ton of So now i'm gonna sit on my butt and do nothing. Pizza for tea, so i don't even have to cook!! Yay!!
I tried watching War of the World's (tom cruise) in bed last night and fell asleep..i have watched that film about 3 time's and every time i fall asleep within the first 30 min's of it. I shall try again tonight lol
I will watch it to the end if it kill's me and i have to keep my eyelid's open with matchstick's!
xxx

Capuru