Nic-Flowers

I am from Texas, I live in Missouri and I am eventually moving to California (Milpitas-San Jose area) I am a girl on the move!

Nic-Flowers

So I was scanning the old site I used to use for an interesting topic and I saw something entitled "not fit for motherhood" so I opened it and it read "If you can't give up smoking for 9 months to carry your child.... then guess what?
YOU DO NOT DESERVE A CHILD
Period. You make me want to kick you in the face." I thought wow, I quit smoking during my pg, but I know perfectly deserving people who did smoke.
But I guess it boils down to No one has the right to say someone doesn't deserve a child I think what I think about smoking and other things and so does everyone else. But who are you to say something like that?


.Attention Whore.

NeyNey

You're right, no one has the right to tell you that you don't deserve to be a mother.

I think women should not smoke while pregnant. But that said, I smoke, I've quit I don't know how many times over the years with our TTC journey, I hate smoking while TTC, but at the same time I find myself so stressed that I reach for them without even thinking. Good thing is I've cut back to around 2-3 a day now. But I plan on quitting the day I get a BFP, we've been doing this too long to risk it.

I can see how someone would get angry, I have to admit, deep down I get a twinge of anger when I see a pregnant women smoking. Or if I see a mother smoking right next to her children. I think the reason is they don't have a choice if they want to inhale the smoke or not, you are taking that choice away from them. I had a friend lose a baby at birth (we're no longer friends sadly- big blame game and a lot of grief tore us apart) - She was having my god daughter, and the baby was still born. We were both young, and didn't realise the dangers of smoking when pregnant, I smoked around her all the time and she smoked herself - anywhere up to 20 smokes a day. So since then i've been a little weary of being near a women who is pregnant and smoking...

I've ranted on haven't I? I can sense the size of this post already.

But like you yourself said, in the end it is an individual choice. It's just a shame babies don't have that choice too?

But no one - no one in the world should be able to tell you that you can't have a child! You're right!

Nic-Flowers

I have the issue with stress and smoking with TTC, and I quit as soon as I got the BFP with Gabe, although he was quite the surprise.

And yes, I wish the baby had a choice, I will put my child first. (as I am sure you will too) Thanks for sharing your opinion! I love the discussion!

Kaelia67

I will probably be judged for this but i haven't given up smoking yet..well i did but got so fed up of waiting i started again
I have cut down drastically and only smoke around 4 a day although i will stop completely and instantly when i eventually get a bfp. Too stressy at the moment to stop.
I do agree with both what you and ney ney has said. I hate seeing people smoking when pregnant it make's me angry. I never say anything as it's not my place or my child, but i do feel abit sad for the baby as it doesn't have a choice. Motherhood to me is about nurture and protecting your child.
But to say people don't deserve the right to have a child is awful, for some people smoking as a huge addiction and some do find it hard to stop, it doesn't mean they love their child any less than a non smoker or are less deserving. Some people just need extra help and support, i think slagging people off because of it is the wrong way to go about it.

Lol i'm rambling xxx

Nic-Flowers

So last night I was watching Across the Universe with OH and his brother, and towards the end I had to get up and get some air because I felt really nauseous . The next thing you know I am running to the toilet and throwing up... I was feeling terrible at first but then the wheels in my head started turning...

I got super tough ms before I know I pg with Gabe, and I got sick for 13 weeks at least 4 times a day. Now I hope I have a little bean sticking around

polo_princess

Good luck hunni!!

Before i came on this site id neve rheard of people being pleased to throw up!!

Sometimes i could quite look foward to it myself

EllaCruz

Oh, to have nausea!!!!!!!

We are all borderline bulimics in some weird way. Praying for vomit!!!

Tishimouse

Does it mean I could get ultra thin when I get pregnant. Oh, that's kind of defeats the point; mmmm! ultra thin or healthy bump? How about an ultra thin, sex goddess body with a wonderful bump. I think I'll just buy one of those trick mirrors if and when I get lucky.

As for the smoking topic. Well, it's very easy for non smokers (like me) to point the finger. I don't think it's fair to judge others on something you haven't experienced yourself. I am 45 and stick suck my thumb and simply cannot stop it's the truth, honestly. I know it's not the same as smoking, but it's a habit I can't break. Thank God it's not a controversial habit. I have to give my opinion though and think it's worth trying to quit before you conceive for your own health, or at least start reading Alan Carr's "How to quit smoking" or some such self help book. Anything is worth a try and it certainly works for some people.

Whatever your situation is, I wish you luck quitting. If you do manage it, perhaps you can advise me on how to quit sucking my thumb. I'm such a baby!! PS. I don't do it in public.

Nic-Flowers

He OH makes fun of me because he will see me sleeping and I will have my thumb in my mouth, it's not something I think about it just happens!