wantababybump

Well I know it's not time for me to TTC yet as I just had my d&c on Thursday but I may as well start writing in my journal again because as soon as we can we will be. So here comes OPK's, temping, charting and CM...poor Shawn!! haha.. I dont have any more bleeding (stopped after a couple days yay!) so now its just a matter of waiting for AF to come.

wantababybump

Well, I was a bad girl. I know I shouldn't have. I just (again!) stopped bleeding the other day from my d&c but of course hubby and I ended up Bd'ing 3 times in the last 2 days! The doctors said to wait at least one cycle and I know I should but honestly I couldn't help myself...I was a bit deprived to say the least. I don't want to do the BCP thing (I even talked to mom about it and she agreed) because it takes to long for them to get in and out of your system and we haven't used condoms in God knows how long! I was thinking I might wait until September to actually TTC but I just don't know if I can. I mentioned condoms but most times we just dont remember because we are so used to not using them. I'm not afraid of getting pregnant again because I want to TTC asap but I'm just worried about the fact most of everyone else feels we should wait. I just want to be able to BD without any worries. I was joking around with Sam (babezone) and said I would likely end up pregnant before I even start trying! That would be something, especially after I just bought 20pg tests and 20opks for when we do start TTC again. I'm so torn because I know I SHOULD wait but then again in my heart I don't think I really want to. *SIGH* I just don't know. On the other hand, I am really excited to be joining you ladies once again in the TTC section! I just want a baby, especially after the excitement of already being pregnant and making it to 14 wks. It honestly feels like I'm missing something now, almost like there is a void that needs to be filled. It's definitely been hard. 2 miscarriages in 6 months, one due in July and the other in December. I know I am young and everyone keeps telling me that. "Oh you're young, you have plenty of time to get pregnant and raise a family." But they really dont understand what its like when you get pregnant and know that that baby is inside of you...when you see the ultrasounds and your baby moving around, then all of a sudden it's gone in the blink of an eye and you're left rubbing your belly just wishing that baby was still inside of you. I am married to a wonderful man whom I have been with for almost 4 years, mature beyond my years, gone to college, have my own place and have already been pregnant twice. I just want my family to be complete. Why does all of this have to be so complicated? My heart aches for those of you who are and have been trying for a long time and for those of you who have had 1 or even multiple miscarriages, I have had 2 and I could not imagine having anymore then that. I suppose I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch because who knows the next pregnancy maybe the same way...although I pray that it isn't and these two miscarriages were just some kind of chromosomal fluke. I 'hopefully' will be getting my results back by the end of next week for the CVS and the fetal testing so we will likely find out then the EXACT cause of all this. Anyways, I know this is long, thanks to anyone who reads it. I just had to get some stuff off my chest. Goodnight.

Litol_x_Me

I really know how you feel hun, after 5 mc myself i know how that empty void felt and it does kill you inside, one day hun you will have a precious baby too hold and love and hopefully it will be soon! And i think you should try when you feel ready not when everyone else says you should at the end of the day its your heart and your body and your life

xx

wantababybump

So, with some thought I have decided that I do not care how anyone else feels about us TTC so soon. I am not going to start actually POAS until the ones I have ordered from ebay get sent but as soon as they do I will be for sure. For now I will temp and chart with FF and if it happens that we do get pregnant before we actually start "trying" then we will deal with it. Obviously, if my body isnt ready for another baby yet I wont get pregnant even without protection. So we will BD as much as we want (without anything) and what will be will be!

Litol_x_Me

Good for you hun & goodluck!! Your both in my thoughts xx

tansey

Good luck hun, just do what you want to do!

wantababybump

I called about my results yesterday but the hospital still didnt have them. She said she would call Pathology and see if they were done yet. She called me back and said they were done but they needed one of the pathologists to sign off on them before they would release the results. So it looks like it will be sometime next week before we know why the baby died and/or the sex (hoping it was just chromosomal).

Hubby and I are still BD'ing like crazy...haha I just cant help it. My OPKs and pg tests will be here hopefully sometime next week as my paypal payment was cleared and the items were shipped!! Yay!! I am also temping so hopefully this will be my month!! Time will tell I guess...

wantababybump

Well my opks and pg tests showed up yesterday!! so that means I can start poas. I did yesterday and of course nothing on the pg test which was expected and a really faint line came up on the opk so could mean I already Ov'd or I am just on my way to ov'ing. I took another opk today and seemed like it maybe a bit darker then yesterdays but still really really faint so I guess I will just have to try again tomarra and see if it gets any darker and that should tell me if I am just Ov'ing now or if I did already. If I already Ov'd it shouldnt be too bad as hubby and I have BD'd 17 times in 20 days lol...I have nooooo idea where this energy came from! haha so Im pretty sure if we are going to catch a spermie this month we will because we have done the deed almost everyday. If not then we will catch one soon enough! Anyways, there's my update Im gonna get to bed. Will update tomarra a little more properly about info on my results or whatever and what I've been up to. xo

wantababybump

Well I just got a phone call from the IWK today and the nurse said they finally received my pathology reports. She said that everything looked good. So I asked if that meant it was chromosomal and she said it appears to be because all of the tissue and stuff was normal. I have an appointment with the perinatal centre on August 19th and wasnt really sure what the appt was for. I called the centre and she said it was for genetic councelling for getting pregnant. So I assume its to help us understand and get pregnant again but I wont tottally know until I go for the appt what it tottally entails.

I have been doing OPKs since July 15th and got my positive yesterday!! So hopefully we nail it this time and if not than we will get it next month now that I have my opk's and pg tests waiting to be used!

Everything else in my life seems to be going fairly well. I am taking care/sitting children in my apartment. I currently have a 1yr old girl that I looked after last week but un/fortunately her grandparents were down and were going to take care of her until August 4th so I dont have her again until then. I will also be getting a little boy who is also 1yr and his sister who is 5yrs the end of August. I have also been asked by a friend of mine if I could look after her 15 months (in september) step daugter in September Thursdays and Fridays. Luckily I only have the 5yr old after school for a couple hours because three 12-15month olds are going to be a load of work. I absolutly love it though and its just nap time I am worried about and proper stuff such as high chairs, strollers, playpens for napping etc. So Im going to have to figure something out. Anways, there's my update and I am going to officially set my status as TTC! xo

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wantababybump

Well today I am 09DPO and so far my temps are looking good. I am trying my hardest not to symptom spot but I have a couple, not major ones but they could also indicate AF so either way I will be happy. I noticed yesterday when my cat (who is the smallest and weighs the least) was kneading on my bbs that they were a bit sore and then today and yesterday I have had heartburn all day and I just cant get rid of it. Im hoping its a sign of pregnancy but we will soon find out I guess. My last 2 pregnancies I didnt get my BFP until late...I dont remember what the first one was because I wasnt properly trying and didnt really know about this site or all the TTC stuff. The second one I was about 13 or 14DPO before I got my BFP so I have a feeling if I do get my BFP it wont be anytime soon.