sjnams

Hey hun, just dropping by with some Hope you had a nice weekend and enjoyed a or two!

yaya

How are you Nic? Feeling any better? I hope so.

Yaya xxx

Farie

Embrace the wine!!
honey, hope your DH can cheer you up with and choc and cuddles

Nic

Well, haven't posted in here for a few days as there isn't much to say. It's difficult to ttc when your hubby is thousands of miles away. I'm like a cross current of emotion just now, in some ways feeling free of the ttc stress of the last year. It's been taken out of my hands at the moment so there's nothing to think about, I've lost the last three months really.
But at the same time I just feel as though I'm bobbing along, drifting with no-one to help me to shore. It's a big empty ocean and day turns to night turns to day and so on. I'm filling my days with 'stuff' but it feels like I'm on auto pilot.
I want to be positive, telling myself that at least my body's had time to recover but deep down it just feels like platitudes. I know I'll fall pregnant some day and I will have a baby of our own, who knows maybe even two, but it's not really any consolation right now. I'm lonely I suppose into the bargain, I don't want hubby to know how I really feel when there's nothing he can do it about being so far away. So we talk on the phone and I laugh and joke tell him I miss him. If only he knew how much.
I want someone to tell me this is m/c related that it gets better with time but I don't know if it really is or if it's the fact that I'm at the 1 year of trying mark at the end of the month, the fact I should be getting excited and ready to tell people (I'd be 12 weeks on tuesday), or if it's the fact that this month will pass us by and be another month of not even being able to try. I hate feeling like this. I hoped it was just period hormones last week, but it's not and it feels like I'm sinking deeper into it at the moment and I want to pick myself up I do. I just don't know how. Sometimes speaking about the way you feel is the first step to feeling better so maybe tomorrow things will start to look up. i hope so. Sorry for the miserable post I just needed to be honest with myself as much as anything I think.

NeyNey

Oh sweet Nic

Your post brought me to tears. I wish there was some way to offer you a little comfort aside from these cyber hugs. But please remember behind these little two circles embracing is big cuddly warm pair of arms reaching out to you across a thousand miles of ocean

Farie

Oh Nic, biggest biggest hugs I'm always at the end of email etc if you want to chat/rant/moan/cry
As Neyney said, there is a lot of real feeling behind those little smilies.

jolyn

Hun, I'm sorry to hear ur feeling low, but try not to be so hard on urself, I think after everything u have been through ur allowed to be a bit upset. It's still early days and will prob take a little while before ur feeling urself - I'm sure ur sticky bean is just around the corner

yaya

Sorry you're feeling down Nic! We're all here and thinking of you and sending you heartfelt

Tread gently & try to take care of yrself hunnie.



Yaya xxx

NikiJJones

Hi Nic,
Sending you to help you deal with all of this.
I completely understand some of the emotions you are going through. TTC for a year and then MCing is devastating. I'm there myself. Everyone keeps saying to me "Just be patient. You will get a baby one day." But that's no help is it. I want it NOW. Not "one day". Getting to the 12 week mark for your lost angel is really tough too. The pain of the loss comes and goes.
So sorry to hear that your DH is away from you too. I'm finding the feeling of lonliness after my MC is so overwhelming, and this is with seeing my DH every day. I cannot imagine how painful it must be for you.
More and here for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on.
xxxx

Tanya

so sorry for you loss again Nic... thinking of you and remember we are all here and your and sticky bean will come soon!!!