jacky24

Thank goodness me and DH made up last night, he has been feeling very left out of my Trying to lose weight time..

DH feels that i am spending so much time at the gym, so last night we went out for supper had a long chat and made up

Otherwise im just taking it day by day now, patiently waiting for AF to show up , but i trully hope the meds are doing there job, well i know the metformin is working, but if the post oval can get my cycle to 28days, please o please Lord let this work out for me

It's my baby boys 10month Birthdays today- I miss you my baby boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jacky24

Well im on CD69 today, can you believe it, i skipped a few progesterone tabs so that i can get AF this week, i am tired of waiting now, and i couldn't hold out till next week i might just go insane....

My clomid 100mg has been lying in my drawer now for 2months, and i have to wait for AF before i can pop the pills

Hey i have lost a total of 10.89pounds

Come on you stupid , show your damn broom

Uvlollypop

wow your weight loss is going so well! are you feeling better for it?

for once i hope the witch shows for someone! lol i hope it comes soon so you can get on the clomid!

jacky24

Yes i said it, i have had enough...
All these emotions all the pain all the sadness, i have had enough

I am so tired of hearing about BFP, i lost my baby, i m/c again, my DH, my boobs, TWW, spotting, pain, is this what i think it is, im sad, im bored , im tired, i think i think i f*&^ing think.......

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since friday when my son whould have been 10months old, i have went into this scary sadened depression, and i feel like for the first time i can not get out of it, i can't move im just stuck.... I still got up to go to the gym this morning, i brushed my teeth, had a shower, messed up my hair, put make up on, it's SOS- same old shit......

I feel like a F&%#ing robot.....

I can't do this any longer i have just given up on being strong, being happy, being save, just pretending everything is going to be alright

And great im losing weight and at this point i just don't give a S&%t anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loopylew

Its difficult to know what to say hun, sounds like you needs break forom ttc, even if its for a short while you could try to focus on losing weight for a short while until you feel ready to come back to B&B. You have been amazingly strong after your loss, maybe it is time to have a bit of time for yourself

jacky24

Thanks loopylew. but for the first time i feel like getting in my volvo and just driving the clock to where it can't go anymore, dissapear for a while, even DH is just not understanding me at the moment...........

I have reached this brick wall and i don't know if i can ever make it, over around, or anyway......

loopylew

have you tried to talk to DH? I think you do need a break from this website as it can drive you round the bend watching all the BFP's. You sound like you need to go to your GP for some Counsellng/Bereavement Counselling etc? have you thought about it? I really hope that you are ok hun x

Lazy Leo

hey Jackie, it sounds like you've been trying to be strong for everyone and you need to know its ok to cry, to grieve. Some days will be tougher than others and the days when it gets tough you do what you've got to do to get through them.

I'm sorry you feel so alone at the moment, I'm sure you DH feels the same way. I hope you can reach out to each other and get through this time.

Sending you as I don't know what else to say. You know you can always PM me hun xxx

jacky24

Yes the showed up full flow tuesday evening at 6pm

So from saterday it's hallo MR 100mg CLOMID, oooo im so happy right now

Accept for me ending up in hospital yesterday with high bloodpressure and kidney infection, my stupid boss phoned me yesterday and said if im not at work today im fired, so i packed my kidneys in a coolerbox and came to work, im so stupid as i have been booked off till monday, but stupid me i follow orders, and im not feeling to well today

But the showed up enough to cheer me up even thou i have been vomitting non stop since 1am this morning, i would actually think i have got morning sickness

Come on i want you this month!!!!!
I am suppose to ovulate around 26April to around the 3Mei, and in SA we have public holidays so, 26saterday Bding, 27 Sunday Bding, 28 Monday public holiday Bding AM, PM, LUNCH TIME, work 29 & 30th but Bding PM, 1-2 Public holiday Bding AM, PM, and weekend

jacky24

CD4 and the is fading away today

Starting my Clomid 100mg tomorrow, i will be popping my tabs at night time again, hope the side effects aren't as bad this time round

I was rushed to the ER again yesterday afternoon, started vomiting again, chest pain, i went grey all over and sweating, got to the ER and bloodpressure was LOW, we figured out the medication the doctor gave me for the high bloodpressure was making my bloodpressure LOW, well i had bloods done, 2 drips and vomitting...

But im fine today didn't drink the meds and im feeling very good today, doc also had all my bloods tested and kidneys are back in shape and nothing else wrong with me, just a bit dehidrated but nothing a few glasses of water couldn't fix

I am very possitive for the following cycle as i am calm, im settled as my cycle should be on track now, and i have ammo 100mg CLOMID, 1700mg METFORMIN, and my postoval to regulate my cycle

COME ON MAY , and 's to all....