Ok, something needs to be done to rectify this situation, it just isn't fair on you.
I think it is imperative that you both sit down (at the right time) and talk about your feelings. You are both holding back information from each other as to how you feel and that can only lead to one thing ... frustration. Men become distant and moody and women tearful and stroppy (I'm generalizing here).
You might both surprise each other with how you are feeling. It sounds like you are so psyched into trying for a baby (like all of us here), but a lot of men will perceive this as an 'obsession' and feel pressurised. Result: Withdrawal from wife and spending more time with his friends/sport (any excuse) and commonly known as 'burying head in the sand syndrome'.
On the other hand, he will voice enthusiasm from time to time about wanting to try for a family (because he believes this is what you want to hear), but deep down he is terrified of the prospect because (a) he's never done this before and (b) he's a man! Result: Wife thinks husband thinks the same way as her and can't understand husband's moodiness. Nothing gets discussed and the problem gets brushed under the carpet leaving husband fed up with wife's moods and wife fed up with husband's lack of enthusiasm.
I think this is classic of a huge percentage of couples. If you discuss it together and share how you both feel, you will be able to speak openly about it and move towards your goal together in a balanced and supportive way.
I would have done this myself, but I thought bursting out crying and snivveling on his T-shirt was a good option at the time. This resulted in us discussing how we both felt and I now have a husband who would climb a mountain to BD at the right time when my monitor says "go".
See, I can give advice but can't dish it out to myself. Typical!
Sorry post is so long. I've got carried away again. I hope you manage to work it out and feel better soon. Don't worry about this month if it's too late. Next month should be a whole lot better if you have your little chat.
Awww, girls, y'all are LOVELY!!! THANK YOU!!!
Tish that was an awesome post, I had to laugh at "I would have done this myself but..."
But you're right. I just never seem to find the right time... The worst is, I KNOW I react all wrong and that just pushes him away, but I go thru the whole day thinking "I can't wait 'til tonight to BD" and then I come home thinking he's been in my head the whole day and KNOWS that I've been looking forward to it... then half the time I just expect HIM to jump ME without giving him the slightest hint that I want it, and when it doesn't happen I feel like he's doin' it on purpose and I CANNOT contain my which just makes it a billion times worse... *sigh*
Last night, he even said to me "So, are you pregnant yet?"...???????? I could have thrown him from the balcony!!!! I REALLY don't get him sometimes...
On the up side, we've sort of "talked" via email today... I'm going to leave the subject alone with him for a while now, and despite my better judgement I'm keeping a weeny bit of hope for this cycle as we did BD on cd10, cd12 and if we do tonight then cd15... you never know...
right, sorry for the long post AGAIN, thanks so much for your support, ladies! I'm goin' home to DH and see what happens!
xox
So I bought one! A BBT thermometer!... I know I know, its, like, the MOST basic thing on the planet when your ttc, but I thought i'd get a BFP the first month (like we all do, I guess!) and I didn't need all that scientific stuff... THEN at ttc month 3 I started attempted to 'chart' my cm and use an ordinary fever thermometer...which is officially getting me NOWHERE...
Having spent some $$ on this new fancy-pants thermometer i'm hoping it'll motivate me to be disciplined and, more importantly, make sure that i actually AM o'ing!!! I have dead regular cycles, but I'm getting paranoid... Plus, see below, given our very sad rate of bd'ing , if we're only gonna do it 3 times a month, better be the RIGHT 3 times!!! ...
hugs, girlies!
i don't know if charting makes you feel better or worse, 've been charting this motnh but its up and down and hasn't shown any real ovulation pattern yet, hopefully it'll go up tommorrow but it made me real stressed when i htought i was ov and we didn't bd, as previous post said that i posted couple of days ago. If nothing else im using charting so i can go to drs armed with info so they can't fob me off. Don't think its helped that ive been ill so temps are all over the place anyway.
Hope you and your hubby sort it out, im now not mentioning ttc overtly and TRYING not to add pressure on.
Thanks Loopylew, I know what you mean - but actually I really am feeling pretty blasee about the whole thing at the minute. My true intentions (FOR THE MOMENT) are really just to make sure i'm o'ing at all... and as you said, should i need to see the dr, well, I'll have some scientific data backing me up! I'm a tad worried about stressing and making everything "worse", but i'm the same as you: absolutely not mentioning ttc outright from NOW ON!!! mark my words!!! ...
...
At least DH and I have a really set routine in the morning - alarm goes off, he gets up and goes pee and then comes and rousts me outta bed - i think i can covertly take my temp whilst he's in the loo... that's the plan, anyway...
And in the back of my mind a little voice is saying "maybe you'll get your BFP before the thermometer even shows up and this will all be a big laugh"...
im trying to temp when dh is in the loo but its difficult when he's not at work, like this am, i had to do it when i first woke and as he has a lie in when he's not at work i had no choice but to do it with him next to me. He did ask if we were ov today though which i can't believe after the stress of the other day and him knowing we were ovulating (or so i thought)
Right, so Ive to put in writing a REALLY enlightening conversation I had with a girlfriend last night... I was, as you all have noticed, totally depressed and discouraged and generally losing my mind b/c we never bd when we "should" and he's giving me mixed signals and and and...
So we were driving to another friends house for dinner - about a 45min drive and she asked me how things were w DH... she's a great friend, a bit older than me, so of course I lost it, told her everything and that I was at my wits end. Then she said something to me that made me stop in my rant "You know, Wendy, you chose this man - without knowing if you could even have children, you chose him to spend the rest of your life with. Dont forget why"... And she is SO right. I've been obsessing so much about ttc that I dont even enjoy our time together alone anymore, at least not like I used to. All i can think of is his sudden inability to bd... Im wishing the journey away, really... and we have only just got married...
So Im going to TRY to stop thinking about it 24-7... I will let him come back to me on his own. I WILL start temping properly this month, but just to see if everything in the ol' bod is working properly... for eg, ive not seen a drop of ewcm this month and its stressing me a bit...
so thats my resolution for today, and just a side note, although i have next to no hope, today is CD18, so Im officially in the TWW... in a way...
I've already posted this on another thread but since this is meant to track my ttc journey, I'm puttin' it here too:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! My bbs are starting to hurt!
Funny thing, that. Last month I would been thrilled, squishing them and jumping up and down to judge just HOW sore they are, etc etc . But since I convinced myself that this month, NO symptoms would be a good thing, well...
CD20... I have NO CLUE when I'd O'd this month and we only bd'd on CD11 and CD13... RAZZAFRAZZA!!!!!!!!!!! Well, its not over 'til the shows up... yeah...
Thanks to the girls who posted on my thread, a little encouragement always feels good! xox
Wendy
to you both. 
which just makes it a billion times worse... *sigh* 
(like we all do, I guess!) and I didn't need all that scientific stuff... THEN at ttc month 3 I started attempted to 'chart' my cm and use an ordinary fever thermometer...which is officially getting me NOWHERE... 
. But since I convinced myself that this month, NO symptoms would be a good thing, well... 
shows up... yeah... 
Linear Mode
