Well, a few things have happened over the past week. Most of them are not good either. We are taking a break from ttc (although I haven't discussed that with dh). The reason is that dh has been diagnosed as having depression, which I know doesn't need to stop our journey, but I don't want to put the added pressure on him. Although its unlikely I will go back on BCP we won't be actively trying. I didn't want to say any of this anywhere else on the forum and thought my journal would be the best place to air my thoughts.

I probably won't be on here to much but will be sending positive babydust vibes to everyone. Although I do hope to pop in once in a while to check who has their BFP's

Good luck, hope it all works out for you and DH.
P.s- when you blink you will be posting your BFP

Aw hope DH can deal with his depression....poor thing!

Have a nice break and we will see you back on the TTC mission before you know it!!!!!
Take care xx

It seems ages since I updated my journal, but I suppose everything has been up in the air.
Anyway, DH seems to be on he mend, as much as possible. The doc has arranged counselling, but that will take a few months, so in the meantime he is taking "happy pills". They seem to be helping him and sometimes me - his libido is either really high or not there at all!!!!! As he says he is either hungry or horny - I told him to starve then
On the ttc side of things Idid plan to talk to dh tonight, but he was quite low, so have decided not to pressure him. We are going away for the weekend so will have a chat then, again with very little pressure.

This is just a little rant so I better stop now

Have a lovely weekend away hunny!!! xx

Hope all goes well xxx

I hope you enjoy your weekend away, good luck sweetie

Hi again!!!

We did have a lovely weekend, my parent's new caravan is great. In the middle of nowhere - so its the prefect place to chill. We didn't get round to having the "ttc talk". It just seem right, it didn't matter though as the weekend was perfect.

However, (there is always something with me), came back and realised that if I hadn't had the miscarriage we would be going for our 12 week scan this week. It doesn't help that SIL is due around 30th August (which would have been about 3 1/2 weeks before us. I am tring to stay focused but sometimes its just so hard

Anyway, lets get back to being positive, the weekend was perfect!!!! And before long I WILL get my BFP

Hi Sinead,

You know the good thing about your husband is that he realizes he has depression and can do something about it. There are millions of people who plod along daily and have no idea why they feel as bad as they do. The second important thing to realize is that you are both suffering and not just him. You are suffering because you love him and anything that affects him, affects you and visa versa.

You have both been through a lot recently and it cannot be easy for either of you. Please don't go anywhere, but keep sharing your thoughts and feelings here to vent some of that hurt. The good thing is, we are impartial and it is quite private as noone really knows who you are.

Either way, you are sure to get answers and support from others with similar, less and far worse problems than yours, which can't be anything but a good thing.

I think the best thing is to not "try" but let nature take it's course and that way as you say, there is no pressure and strain on you both. Nature has a way of looking after us and for now you sound very strong. Remember it takes a long time to mourn a loss, but it is something that you must go through to come out at the other end. If you don't you will be stuck in the same miserable place for ever, and that simply can't happen.

Any time you want a good old chin wag or sniffle, you come here. There's always a waiting.

Tish - you are wonderful. You always give me the right advice, even when its not always what I want to hear. You are so, so right, but its so hard not to think "right I'm ov-ing now, we should bd" or "AF is due such a date". I promise I will try hard not to think of these things and go with flow. Thank you again for reading my rant as I feel like such a bore at times