I'm supposed to be writing a 1,500 word course assignment at the mo (doing one on creative writing in my spare time) and my avoidance measures are extreme, including writing this journal instead of my assignment. So, to continue with my avoidance, thought I'd also better post that I've been very pale the past few days and had a slight nose bleed yesterday. Not sure what this has to do with anything but charting anything unusual. As I have stated before, I feel I am the queen of phantom symptoms (though others on this board might dispute that and insist they are!!!). Combined with what has always been an over-active imagination, this whole TTCing thang is bringing the drama queen out in me!
Day 23 of 28 day cycle - just realised I better start writing down what stage of my cycle I'm at for info, hence above.
Anyway, with past 2 (maybe 3) cycles, my bbs always get very sore at this point (actually, to be exact, get very sore on the Saturday evening at 11pm, how funny our bodies are!) but nowt so far. Just bigger than they were a week ago. But no pain wotsoever. Of interest? Christ, who knows, I thought having mild nose bleeds was of interest yesterday! Had sharp pains in womb area today, but think I've had the same past 2 cycles, body getting ready for AF in less than a week?
Day 24 - INCREDIBLY moody and emotional and stroppy and stumping my feet all over the place and just feeling very very emotional. But also feeling very creative and 'high' as a kite. And tired. But all AF symptoms, which is making me more stroppy cos think she'll be here end of this week. Still no sore bbs though, very very odd. But I just can't can't CAN'T hope that there might be a BFP this month cos I promised myself I wouldn't symptom watch or get my hopes up so here's a little talk to myself: 'Trixie, it can take months to conceive. You're 30 honey - all the science suggests it'll tak you SIX months so highly unlikely you'll get PG this month. Keep remembering that it's more likely to be the summer and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!'
Same day. Well, my emotional state is making me neurotic. Just noticed, in the past 10 mins, my stomach has suddenly swollen up like a balloon and my waist has near disappeared. My stomach is gurgling as I type this. I didn’t eat much for lunch, just chicken salad with an egg, no carbs. So not cos of a big dinner. I’m really hoping the egg / chicken isn’t off, and am getting food poisoning, o crikey! But I know what you're thinking as well - it could mean PG too. Or AF coming early (like, tomorrow, which is what happened 2 months ago, she came real early, 4 days b4 I expected her) or it might be cos I ate loads at the weekend (but literally just noticed the huge tummy, have actually lost weight the past 2 weeks eating salads during the week so weird) or it could be PG.
See, there’s these 2 little characters on my shoulders. One is a fat rosy cheeked type, full of optimism and hope, whispering in my ear ‘o my, o my, could it be … ? Could it be … ? You did all the right things at the right time this month and you bbs aren’t like they usually are at this time of the month and you’ve been getting cramps all weekend and other strange lady things happening’ then there’s this scientific looking skinny dude on my other shoulder wearing a white coat and holding a clipboard, saying, ‘Come now, Mrs Lox, face facts. It’s highly unlikely, as a girl in her 30s, that you could conceive so quickly. Your Auntie Flo must be coming to pay a visit early this week, sorry dear. Remember how much you thought u were PG last month then you weren’t? Rememebr how you thought you were getting symptoms which turned out to be phantom symptoms’ I’d rather listen to the skinny dude cos he’s based in fact and science but the rosy cheeked one keeps ANNOYING ME. NO, I will not listen to her!
Hi TrixieLox!
GOOD LUCK!!! Sounds good! I usually get the same bbs symptoms as you do, and funny enough I told myself that THIS MONTH if they DON'T get sore, its a pg symptom!?!??! How can no symptoms be a symptom, you may ask... Yessss, I am TTC BONKERS!
BABY DUST to you!
Hi TrixieLox!
GOOD LUCK!!! Sounds good! I usually get the same bbs symptoms as you do, and funny enough I told myself that THIS MONTH if they DON'T get sore, its a pg symptom!?!??! How can no symptoms be a symptom, you may ask... Yessss, I am TTC BONKERS!
BABY DUST to you!
Yeh, I've told myself that in the past 2 months - no sore bbs might mean I'm PG. But then all my mates / family who have fallen PG tell me 'look out for the sore bbs, it's a dead give away' but I get them anyway b4 af, I mean, REALLY sore. So why not sore now? Might start a post about it in TTC forum. x
Day 25 - bbs starting to get sore tonight and kinda feel really down about it, which is ridiculous! I think I was pinning my hopes on the possibility that not getting AF symptoms meant that I might be PG. By getting sore bbs now, I'm thinking that means AF WILL be here at the weekend. Or indeed, cos sore bbs came on so late, AF will be late too, which means I'll be tortured this weekend. I wish I could stop thinking about this. I'm gonna try to get my head down with other stuff this week and not think too much about it. That includes trying not to come on here till the weekend. Yeh right! x
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Goodluck.
for your TTC journey.
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