TTC Journals

dakini · Oct 29th, 2007, 21:49 PM

Ok, thought I'd maybe get a start on journaling in here. Also give everyone a bit of my history.

I am almost 29 1/2, and have been married almost 1 year (Nov 4). My husband and I were together 12 years and 2 days before we exchanged vows. High school sweethearts and all that.

So, for years we'd (Ok, I'd) said that by the time I was 30 (my husband is 5 months younger than me) I wanted to either be pregnant or trying. So, have some soul searching we decided to start trying September 9, 2007 (the date of the start of my last period on the BCP).

Nothing that month.

So far, nothing this month.

Another twist in our story is that I have been treated for depression with meds for about 7-8 years now, maybe longer (it's just been so long we've been together it's hard to judge time sometimes). I went off Paxil totally in April after stepping my dosages down. Now I am off and on St. John's Wort. Not sure if that's why I have been feeling nauseous some days, though I am suspecting it is.

Have to plan my annual doctor's appointment soon, so I am going to asking him then about going back onto a different antidepressant as I can tell I am having depression symptoms again. We'll wait and see what he says. I can't keep taking and not taking St. John's Wort as my moods change so much...

Ok, supposed to be happier.

Just a brief history above. So I am currently on CD 18 of a 33 day cycle, so we'll see what happens in the next few weeks....granted last week (Thursday) I came down with the flu and my temp spiked to about 100-101 degrees F for two days. Now they seem to have stabilized again and are going up for O. We'll see, and keep our fingers crossed. I am hoping it's not the cold that I seemed to have acquired that's causing my temps to go up....

As my journey continues, I'll update this journal.

GL to everyone on getting that BFP!!!

dakini · Oct 30th, 2007, 17:29 PM

Well, I have a bad feeling for this month.

Been sick as a dog, and therefore bd'ing has been limited. Hubby sleeping on couch to not get sick really cuts down on opportunities, even if I really felt like it! But, that's our modo in this - we'll give it a few months of just being ourselves, and then if nothing, then we'll start doing this more regulated. I am charting, but more so I know when AF is coming than anything else. And trying not to make it a big thing when I'm about to O, granted this is the first month I have charted, 2nd month ttc, so hey, good start so far of not making a big deal of it!

So, I have a good feeling that this is not our month. Probably a good thing as I've had to take some Otrivin just to be able to breathe today...Just hoping I can sleep tonight. Not being able to has really made me feel worse.

Ok, enough of that. Not really journaling my ttc life very well am I?

But, it's how I feel for this month. We'll see what happens, but it's hard to get pregnant when you don't bd!

poppy · Nov 1st, 2007, 22:14 PM

Good luck Dakini! I hope you get your BFP soon!

Wobbles · Nov 2nd, 2007, 18:04 PM

A sprinkle of

for your TTC journey.

dakini · Nov 4th, 2007, 04:02 AM

Well, here I sit, 11 minutes away from our first anniversary. And 1 day pas our 13th anniverary of starting to date. Too long, too long, and yet, sometimes it seems like it's been no time at all.

Anyway, even though I am pretty sure I am not pg, I keep feeling odd. My bb's have been sensitive, and been getting a few odd cramps in my lower abdominals. It's just such a bad month...very little bding when we should have...damn flu/cold. And I am not even sure when I would have o'd because of the darn fever I got...thinking I'm only about 5dpo, not 11dpo as FF shows, but i can't get it to recalculate my crosshairs with the 2 days of fever discarded...oh well. Will have to just go by my gut feeling. And it's that I am about 5dpo. And not pg. It's just those cramps are so weird...and I have been a little gassy, but since I had my gallbladder removed 2 years ago, that's not very unususal.

Well, that's my very short update. Nothing exciting. Just waiting for the

to come so we can get on to the next cycle and start bd'ing like never before!

Going to bed. Update more later.

dakini · Nov 4th, 2007, 14:22 PM

Well, it's finally arrived - my first wedding anniversary! Waited a long time for today...

On to ttc news...woke up and my temp dropped again. Also feeling more cramps. Just like I thought, not this cycle. Still waiting for AF to show up, but I am hoping soon. That way we can get on with this and hopefully no one will sick this time around...Though it is still early for AF, I am hoping she shows up today. That way I know what my cramps are about!

Also woke up this morning with a headache and my mose is staying stuffed up. I hate this. Being sick (still!) sucks. I know it's a cold and can stay around for a couple of weeks, but I am soooo over this.

dakini · Nov 5th, 2007, 14:04 PM

Well, my temp raised again today, so no AF yet. Must have been sleep deprived on the weekend...whatever. Still not a good feeling about this cycle, so come on AF! If you're coming, come on!

Was getting some cramps on the weekend, and still had my ever present (or so it seems) headache. Also getting some cramps today...almost like AF cramps, but not quite...this just sucks. I want to know what's going on with me...and it's been so long since I've had "normal" AF that I have no idea...oh well. We'll wait and see what happens.

dakini · Nov 6th, 2007, 19:52 PM

Well, I have been lurking and reading all over the web today...I really haven't done anything at work...

I'm going to add this here even though it's on the forums...just an update on ttc.

I have been going nuts for the past couple of days because today I am 9dpo, but since Saturday (6dpo) I have been having almost AF cramps. This corresponds to a temp dip. I also have sensitive nipples (occasionally BBs sore, but not "hit me in the chest with a baseball bat" sore), today I feel like I've either run into a brick wall or a truck hit me I am so exhausted (tired doesn't even begin to describe how tired I am ), and my brain is just toast. Utter and completely wiped clean of any intelligent thought. (doesn't make working easy let me tell you) And my back was sore this morning...not ususal.

So, trying to tell myself that this is not our cycle because I was so sick and we only bd'ed once around o-time (actually on o-day)...but then the other part of my brain keeps popping up with - it only takes once and maybe you are! And so...when do I test? I don't want to test on a weekday because seriously, FMU and getting a BFP and then going to work and being productive?? I don't think so. But Saturday I am only 13dpo and AF isn't due until Monday...and I can't really hold anything for 3-4 hours as I pee about every hour or so, sometimes every 30 minutes) depending on how much liquid I've had during the day. And no, this is not something I'd call a sign - I just have itty-bitty bladder syndrome.

So I am going to link my chart here, even though I know it will change as time goes on...but whatever! http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1d53bf

So, that's my update so far. I will keep this updated with "symptoms" and any test results that I may get...the 2ww is killing me!

dakini · Nov 8th, 2007, 13:21 PM

Well, the

hasn't showed up yet, but I am still getting those almost cramps. And last night it was so odd...now this might be TMI but...during BD DH went deep and it hurt! Like he was hitting something! Now that shouldn't be possible...I have no idea what happened. Something like it has happened before (wasn't tracking anything so I have no idea when, like just before AF or not...) but not that painful! Also, my temp jumped up again (if you want to stalk my chart it's been added to the charts sticky) but I am telling myself it's just willing it to go up so that I don't see the

...Nipples still sensitive, and still tired. Just hard to gauge the tiredness as that's not all that uncommon with me, especially when I'm stuffed up like I am now. Same with the being unable to concentrate...nothing all that unusual when I'm tired.

So, bottom line is, I think I'll test Saturday with FMU if my temps don't fall too much. Some ok, but a lot, no. Then I think AF will be coming.

I'll keep everyone updated!

dakini · Nov 9th, 2007, 19:18 PM

Well, if you've read my other post you it was a BFN. But, I am still in the running! It's only 12dpo so that may still be too early. We'll see what happens tomorrow with my temps. I hope they stay up.

Still having those almost cramps, though they aren't as frequent, don't know that to read into that. Or I'm just ignoring them better...BBs and nipples still sensitive (though that can be fun...

). Tired too, just not as tired as I was a few days ago - that seriously felt like a truck hit me! Back's still sore too. All I can say is that if I am not pg and this is how I am going to feel before every AF I am going to go

!

So, depending on whether look at my FF or mymonthlycycles AF is due Monday or Wednesday. (Damn, just talked about how I am not getting those almost cramps, and look, there one is! Thinking about it makes me either have them or notice them again!

) I may test tomorrow am again with FMU or try and hold out until Sunday...thinking Sunday. Even though the tests are only $1.13 ($1 plus taxes) why waste the money is it's only going to be BFN? And I guess I'll wait until Wednesday if AF doesn't show. Then we'll wait and see. Already decided that if I am not getting and BFP on hpt by the time I am 21dpo, I am calling my doc. Only if my temps stay high.

So, I'll keep everyone updated. Thanks for the support so far.

I still just feel like if I am, it's amazing. Was sick when I o'ed this month so BDing wasn't high priority. But if it happens, it happens. And when it does, we'll welcome it.

And I have to think that my DH has been doing some thinking...for the past few days the BDing was been going non-stop! Ok, not quite, but it's like he can't keep his hands off me! I know he's been doing some heavy thinking because one of our BIL's has been talking about how tough it's been financially this past year with his DW (my SIL) on mat-leave (we get 1 year paid at 50-55% - can't remember which - of your wage. We've said that we may not take advantage of that and I'll just be off less time, or whatever. Just because you're entitled to it doesn't mean you have to take it! Or he'll take some time off if I am making more money. (It's been nuts. The past 3 weeks I've had 2 companies approach me about jobs that they are looking to fill and wanting to discuss it with me! And after I just moved to a new job that pays significantly more than my last one...)

I don't know, it's odd. Moving onto this new stage. My DH and I have been together so long, even if it's not married time, it's like we've grown up together. And in many ways we have. I just don't feel old enough for kids! I know that if we wait until we feel old enough it will be too late, but it's so scary! At least we'll be doing it together. I love having been through so much with my DH and still loving each other. It means that I am sure that we'll be able to work through pretty much anything. (There are a few things that I have told him repeatedly that I won't stand for, ok, really only one, and we've never had to deal with that.)

Well, I'll keep you all posted.

TTC Journals

Dakini's TTC Journal

Trying To Conceive

Dakini's TTC Journal

Not a good feeling for this month...

11 minutes until my 1st wedding anniversary...

1st Wedding Anniversary

Hummm.

Ok, seriously have to get to work...

Test on Saturday?? Thinking about it...

Broke down and tested...