TTC Journals

TrixieLox · Dec 11th, 2007, 21:15 PM

That does sound hopeful, fingers crossed for you!!!

dakini · Dec 12th, 2007, 14:23 PM

Well, I am now seriously tempted to test early, even though I said I wouldn't. Yesterday I felt awful, and now this morning I woke up and was nauseous. Ate something, still feel nauseous, just not quite as bad. Am exhausted. Still feel very bloated. Headache is still around, just not as bad as yesterday. BBs still getting the occasional shotting pain in them (kinda tapered off so far today). Just not feeling myself. I just don't want to see a BFN so I have no idea what I'm going to do!

And I also don't really want to see a BFP and then have to run to work...I guess I'll just have to wait until Saturday. And then see if I remember or not...

Sorry, this is a little bit of a rant today because I feel so crappy and sick. My nose hasn't unstuffed yet either and that's driving me nuts (I have allergies so every morning without fail I am stuffed up for the first hourish, not today, went to bed with a stuffed nose and woke up with one and it's still around longer than usual...just makes me cranky.) Anyway, just needed to vent. thanks for listening! this post can be ignored!

Feeling better now......well, still feeling sick and tired, but I can smile now.

And if I'm not pg, I hate my body. this is just nuts! Last month cramps for like a week before AF, and now this! how am I even going to be able to tell when I'm pg if I keep getting different 'symptoms'???? granted, this month isn't done yet...Sunday should be the day...I think I may test Saturday...though I may break down tomorrow morning depending on how i feel...we'll see.

Ok, vent/rant over.

Forgot to add that I am breaking out like you wouldn't believe! Last month I got like 1 or 2 pimples, and today I have like 5 new ones! WTF???? And I have no brain...walked out of the house without my cell!

I need that for work! At least I am close to home...I gues a trip home at lunch it will have to be.

bambikate · Dec 12th, 2007, 17:26 PM

I'm reading too!!!!!!!!! I have good vibes for you this month Dakini. Everything sounds so positive...here comes a truck load of baby dust.......

dakini · Dec 13th, 2007, 15:10 PM

Well, I broke down and tested this morning. BFN. But still hopeful. I think my eyes were deceiving me, but I may have seen a very faint line...but so faint I couldn't tell if it was coloured or grey!

Calling it a BFN.

I am still nauseous (not as bad yet as yesterday but I was able to eat earlier this morning), headache that won't go away (Tylenol isn't helping either), still feel very bloated, still getting new pimples (WTF???? skin's never been this bad!), still burping a lot, still tired...we'll see what happens with my temps tomorrow and Saturday and I'll test again Saturday. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Have to go find my crackers...stomach's starting to act up again...maybe try some more Tylenol....this headache is driving me batty.

dakini · Dec 14th, 2007, 14:41 PM

Well, the

got me last night! No warning cramps or anything! And my temp was still up...Also 3 days before I was expecting her...I guess i was imagining things yesterday! Or was trying to make an evap line something it wasn't!

I actually feel fine about it. I feel like someone is telling me that it will happen soon and this month is time for me to pull myself together...get my office cleaned up, the spare bedroom organized and ready to be a nursery, get my concentration back at work, just generally get myself back on track. Besides, if we do get pg this cycle or next it will be a nice birthday (DH's) or anniversary gift, even if a few days/weeks early/late...I just am still feeling positive that it will happen for us soon. The time wasn't right this month.

I still have a headache, though not as bad (probably because I took some ASA last night which always helps my migraines...) and that may be why I am not feeling as nauseous today...cramps aren't that bad, back hurts a little, but it's no that bad, and I am not as tired as other days...though having to wake up to the sound of one of my cats hacking up a hairball wasn't nice...it always sounds as if he's dying. He doesn't do it very often, and it always scares me. Poor kitty is okay. He gave me this look like "I'm fine, go away, I'm going back to sleep" when I got up to check on him!

Well, we'll see what happens this month. I have no idea what length my cycle will be, or when I'll O, but I'll keep recording temps and see what happens. It's also nice that I should O around New Year's...I figure I'm not going to drink, just so I don't affect my temps! I may break down and have one glass of wine on Christmas and New Year's, but we'll see. Probably not. Or that's how I'm feeling right now!

And my doctor is going to get an earful on the 2nd...I want to know why I was feeling so crappy!

Though someone here..ChefSara maybe??? (I can't remember)..was going off Paxil like me and said that the withdrawal symptoms can come back months later, so maybe that's what it was. If not, and I'm going to keep getting different "symptoms" every month I'm going to drive myself and everyone here

! Sorry in advance!

So that's my update.

Oh! one more thing...DH was cute last night when I told him we weren't pg. He just said...'well, I cant' be'...

..my response was, "fine, I'm not pg then!"

I think he was just trying to make me feel a little better...I know the first month he was a little relieved as it was starting to sink in that it could happen...but now, 3 cycles down, I think he's starting to want it a little more and not be as nervous about the thought of being a Dad...maybe I'm just reading into it, but, hey,that's what we women do!

Baby4meplz · Dec 14th, 2007, 19:40 PM

I am so bummed for you!!! It will happen - Keep at it and at least you can have a boozy xmas. I just got my BFP this morning and tested a day early. It was very surprising as I was not expecting it! It is just starting to sink in and i have not gotten a thing done all day... It was the weirdest week though - everything just seemed out of whack. Like the planets were not aligned. This is the best ending I could have hoped for though!!! Good luck and thanks for being there to listen to me this week.

dakini · Dec 14th, 2007, 20:15 PM

I'm so happy for you!

Congrats! (In case I haven't already said it...) What a nice surprise ending for a week that wasn't the greatest.

As for being there for you, that's what we're all here for. Just don't forget us over here! I know I like getting responses from someone who's been there, done that.

have a great weekend, a H&H 9 months, and I want to hear all about it! Congratulations again!

though to tell you the truth about me, I'm not that bummed. As I said, it feels like someone's telling me, soon, very soon. This is a break to get ready for it. Get everything in order around the house and with my new job...still just feeling very positive that it's going to happen soon. Sort of like how I felt when my Gramps died...I couldn't cry for him and not even much for myself because I was just positive he was happy and okay. It's actually a very similar feeling, which makes me think he's close and watching over me right now. No one else has to believe this, as I know many people don't believe in people coming back, but I do.

dakini · Dec 17th, 2007, 19:06 PM

Well, it's the Monday before Christmas...I really wish it wasn't Monday...I am so tired! I can barely keep my eyes open...

...I guess tonight it early to bed...

Now, onto the real reason I am writing here...I am hoping what one thread said a while ago is true...I am having an odd AF this time around. Instead of my usual 3 days of heavy flow, I have only had 2 days! And usually then I'll have a day or 2 of medium-ish flow, but it's only been basically spotting! WTF?? I am hoping that, as the thread said, an unusual AF and the next cycle you are pg...

...I hope so! Still feeling positive, so we'll see around January 14thish (I think...)

Other than that, and being so very tired, everything's good. We put up the tree last night (usually it's up beginning of December, but we have too much crap on your living room so this weekend we decided to just set it up i the basement instead) so now i just have to finish the shopping and wrap everything....I just feel kinda bad for our tree. It's so old! And I really didn't go all that great of a job putting the lights and ribbon on it...and we have such an odd mix of decorations...I really have to work on getting more, but I really don't want ones that don't mean something...some of those are ok, but I prefer most being meaningful. Anyway, I feel so bad - it's so very old (my parent's first or second tree from when they got married, so it's about 35 years old?) and kinda Charlie Brownish...but it was free and still good. Just looks a little less spectacular than the trees you can buy now...Eventually I'd like to get a new tree for upstairs and put this one up every year in the basement with DH's ornaments. We'll see.

Anyway, rambling now. Later!

dakini · Dec 19th, 2007, 19:06 PM

Well, nothing much going on with me. Just waiting to O! Sooo happy that the

is done...as I told DH last night, I just couldn't help it, I missed him so much!

So we'll get on with our "practicing" and see if we can't catch an eggie this month!

I did book an appointment with a physic...the thread talking about, and talking to one of my SILs about it, and the feeling like my Gramps is around...I just want to go!

So, on my day off next week, Friday, I am going to go see what she says. It's a Christmas treat to myself.

I can't wait for next week...Monday I work from home for 4 hours, Tuesday and Wednesday off, Thursday work from home for 4 hours, Friday off, and the next Monday (the 31st) work from home again for 4 hours!

It's going to be so nice to be working in PJs....

And if I can get some extra work done this weekend I am just going to record it next week instead of the weekend...can't wait! So exciting!

But other than that, not much. Just going to plan on trying to

every 2-3 days and see if we can't get that

to catch the eggie! And if anyone's interested, I'll be updating with what the physic says...and I'll be able to detail it out as she allows a tape to be brought in and she'll record the session for you! We'll see what she says...later!

Carolina · Dec 20th, 2007, 07:49 AM

Hey dakini! I just read your journal (i cam off bcp at the same time as you). I wanted to give u some

Good luck with the phycic! I hope this is your month!!

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