TTC Journals

dakini · Nov 16th, 2007, 19:14 PM

Well, it's CD4 and I've been good. Only recording in FF that it's AF. Not putting in my temps.

I had a small talk with my DH last night. I know he's been stressed out with his job and I had to know if us ttc was adding additional stress. So, I broke down and asked him if he wanted to put ttc on hold for a bit until he knew more what was going on with the company he works for. He said no.

Not sure if he means it, because I know how unhappy and stressed he is, but I have to take it at face value. So, we are still trying. We'll see what happens...and I'm still going to try and not read into anything this cycle. Hell, last month I had cramps from 7dpo until a day ago (into AF), was moody, had sensitive nipples and tender BBs, and was tired! So I can't read anything into anything this time around.

I think it was just that it was only my 2nd cycle off BCP and I think my system's trying to straighten itself out after 13ish years on BCP. And it seems like I may have shorter AFs than on BCP...AF is basically gone today! And only on 4CD! I have no idea why, but the first 3 days were especially heavy. Not that I'm going to complain...I'll take 3 days of very heavy, 1 day light/non-existent over 5-6 days. We can 'practice' more this way...

So that's my update. Still in the running for a BCP in December...if I can convince DH to BD around the right time...

...can't get sick this month! I just can't. Taking my prenatal multivitamins and Oil or Oregano and hoping that helps...exercise doesn't seem to. But have to do that tonight and on the weekend. Also have to start writing out Christmas cards...if I don't we won't get any out again this year! Last year I blamed it on our wedding being in November and trying to clear up everything from that...like Thank Yous and all that...it won't work again this year!

dakini · Nov 19th, 2007, 16:10 PM

Well, another boring update.

Just wanted to put another entry in here...nothing much to report. I've just been so good! I have only been recording my temps not charting them (yes, a few more days of that has passed!) and really haven't been paying too much attention to the temps...just know they haven't gone up yet, nor should they as I have about 11 days until I should o...And after my DH was sick on Friday and Saturday, I know he's feeling better...we "practiced" on Sunday!

He's really sick if he doesn't feel like BDing...

I've been reading and lurking around this morning (relaxed this weekend and worked on my Granny's Christmas present...I hope I get it done, there's a lot left to do on! - a Scottie dog cross-stitch project...and I still have a little more than 1/2 to do! - so I didn't really log in) and I am happy to see more BFPs, and sorry to see about m/c. That's my big fear (the m/c). My SILs both had multiple ones, and I can't get my Granny or Mom to talk about their experiences. There is no one else to ask as both of them are only children, as am I! All I really know is that it took my Granny about 12 years or so to have my Mom, and Mom and Dad took about the same, though I am thinking Mom and Dad weren't trying that entire time, but my grandparents were...but no one will talk to me!!!

But we'll just to wait and see what happens...just hoping we get an early Christmas present...though we'll wait and see. Really not that hopeful (why, I don't know - it's only CD6ish) but it could be that I am really very tired this morning...It will all work out for the best.

So that's another boring entry in my journal.

poppy · Nov 19th, 2007, 17:10 PM

Hi Dakini!

Good luck with ttc this month! You mentioned that it took your parents and grandparents quite a while to concieve. Try not to worry - those were different days and there is much more advice and products out there these days (i.e. opks, vitamins etc) that can help with the ttc journey.

Good luck - here's to you getting a BFP just in time for Christmas!

emerphire · Nov 20th, 2007, 09:51 AM

just dropping in to say hello! hopefully you and DH stay healthy so you can do the BD at the right time!

more

for a December

!!

dakini · Nov 21st, 2007, 17:13 PM

Well, yesterday was not a good day. For the first time in a little over 2 years I had a fainting/black out spell! It's about the 5th-6th time it's happened over the past 6-7 years. They have no idea why it's happened!

And it's scary as all hell for anyone watching me. I can keep walking if I already am, though I start walking into things, if I'm sitting I fall over and start to twitch sometimes, and then when I come to I am sweating and shaking a little. I know it sounds like a seizure, but I've been tested and that's not what it is!

Hence the fact they can't figure it out!

And I had to pull my DH out of work, have his BIL pick up my car and drive it home, worry my co-workers because I didn't tell them that this could happen (didn't think I had to as it hadn't happened in so long), worry my DH because it hadn't happened in so long...damnit!!

I hate this. At least I am feeling better today, just tired, but that could be due to the fact that I slept so much yesterday afternoon that I didn't sleep well last night...oops.

Oh well. Feeling better.

Ok, that's my vent/rant for today. Has nothing to do with ttc, but it is what's happening with me. Not fun, but what's happening. And all I could think....watch for it, a TMI moment....as I was over the toilet (a new symptom, but whatever) was that I am so not looking forward to m/s. Especially if it's anything like that...couldn't even make it home without DH having to pull over.

Ok, over now. Feeling better, shouldn't affect us trying this month, though I'd still like to be curled up at home, in bed, with a book and 2 warm kitties, and DH at some point...

dakini · Nov 26th, 2007, 20:11 PM

Ok, don't really know where that came from!

Just sitting here trying to do work...

So DH and I have been good...BDing like little rabbits, though tired ones...

Probably going to be O'ing on Thursday, but I know Wednesday is pretty much out as DH is...uh...really don't want to say this, but...he's got the guys over to play D&D...usually Mondays but this week it's Wednesday, so probably not. It all depends on what time they leave I guess, and if it's a good session or not...And Thursday I am out til later due to a company function...but we'll see what happens. Hoping it works out this time around...but if not, then it's not our time.

Still been very good and not been charting...temps are all recorded, but not charted yet. I'll probably do that this weekend, if I find the time! Though I think I have to give DH a break tonight from BD...I think last night he felt a little like a sperm-bank!

Tuesday though he'd better watch out!

Glad to see some more BFPs when I came back after a 4 day break (just too busy to get online). Hoping that December is as productive as November...would just love to be able to not drink at Christmas because I was pg...not sure it's going to happen, but we'll see. Also have to remember to not read into every little thing...I know in about 2 weeks that's exactly what's going to happen...Must remember not to...had too many "symptoms" last month to read into anything.

mayz83 · Nov 26th, 2007, 21:17 PM

good luck with getting ur BFP

dakini · Nov 27th, 2007, 19:36 PM

Well, we took a one night break from BDing last night. SIL stopped by to get some pics scanned and by the time she left it was after midnight.

To tired to do anything (I am not a night hawk.) But tonight DH had better watch out!

I think I may be o'ing today or tomorrow as last night I was getting some pains on my left side....and I don't think I pulled anything working out...

...and my temp dropped this morning, but not sure if that's because I didn't get as much sleep, but I did have over 4 hours continuous...we'll just wait and see what happens tomorrow and the next day.

So, it's a pretty boring entry. Just really don't feel like working (just had to tell someone that there's no an "easy button" to reconcile some accounts...) and just very tired from the late night last night.

Good news though - tomorrow night I am getting a new battery put in my car!

Very needed, (and not ttc related.)

So, maybe this weekend if I have the time I am going to chart my temps...we'll see. Still trying to not get too excited. I know it took my SILs months to get pg...and another friend who was trying and now not was trying for a few months and nothing. Just have to keep thinking, if not this Christmas than (hopefully

) by next Christmas I am pg. It will all work out as it's supposed to.

Now, this is a little more like a rant/vent...we were talking last night to the SIL...her SIL had a major life changing event happen that is making it very hard on her family. Basically, without going into a lot of details, this woman has 2 wonderful kids but due to medical complications is unable to look after them as before, and their lives are forever changed. On one hand, her having her second child may have saved her life because we figure the pregnancy allowed them to find the tumor earlier than otherwise...on the other hand, not sure if having her first child causing the tumor to appear earlier than otherwise would have happened (due to hormonal changes). We were talking, all 3 of us, about how do you decide if it's better to try for kids if you know that it could cause major problems...ie, another woman my FIL knows wanted to try for another child but her doctor told her that if she had another child she'd go blind. She did, and now she's blind. I also know someone that they've told her that if she ever becomes pg (no kids yet) that it could kill her. What do you do in this situation? And I think we'd (DH and I, if it was us) decide not to have kids and just spoil the nephews/niece rotten. It would suck, but is it worth it to have kids and shorten your life or change the quality of your life, maybe in a way that would be bad for your kids? Such a hard decision..thankfully, we haven't been put into that situation and hopefully we never will. I know, very long, very...uh...boring. Just what's on my mind. And when I'm tired and a little cranky my mind wanders and I tend to ramble...

So basically just waiting to O and see what happens. And then it's another 2ww wait to see if anyone comes of this round of trying...and then probably about round of waiting to O and then another 2ww wait...I know, not very optimistic, but brain a little tired today so it's hard to be optimistic and cheery...I'll get my equilibrium back after a good night's sleep.

dakini · Nov 29th, 2007, 16:10 PM

Well, this was supposed to be the day I O'ed...maybe I have just been too tired...love my DH and all that, but damn! I have to get to bed before midnight! Just brain dead the next day, and there's no way I am going to start drinking Pepsi at 8am! Especially when I've been so good at cutting back...but I think one's coming out around 11am...in about 5 minutes!

But yeah, temp should have spiked a little to indicate O'ing, but nope. I did end up testing at 6am and my usual 7:30am just because I woke up and had to pee and I know that you should test with 3 continuous hours of sleep...

...my temp at 7:30 was higher and seems to be closer to where I should be, but I have no idea! Just going to see what happens.

So yeah, wondering if I may not O this month. That would suck! But, it is just the third cycle off BCP, so really it's not that long. Still don't even know what a "normal" cycle is for me! First 2 were the same length, but that really doesn't mean anything!

And hey, a day or two off won't make a big difference (just keep telling myself, you will O this month, there's option of not!

)

I have to start charting my temps soon...this weekend. That way I can compare last cycle to this one...

Gotta run...Pepsi with caffeine is calling my name....ummm....caffeine to stimulate exhausted brain....

dakini · Nov 30th, 2007, 14:04 PM

Well, another day where my temp didn't go up. I again woke up around 6am and temped, and then at 7:30am, but they aren't going up. Well, it is only my third cycle off BCP so I guess my body is still adjusting. Hopefully in the next few days I'll O...if not we'll see what happens after 32 days...maybe I won't O this month. Have to think positive though...and if it doesn't happen this month, then maybe next!

TTC Journals

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