TTC Journals

dakini · Nov 12th, 2007, 03:14 AM

Well, tested again this morning and BFN. Oh well. Was nauseous all day yesterday, and was very tired today. Still have sensitive nipples and almost cramps. Just waiting to see what happens. Temps are still up; I temped early all weekend just because I was waking up early. But if I adjust them they are inline with the other temps. We'll see what happens tomorrow. Hoping temps will stay up and sometime soon I get my BFP.

Feeling a little down today. Part of it may be tiredness, and some if it is probably sleep deprivation.

I'll keep everyone posted. I'll probably test Friday again. Maybe earlier, but not sure. Running off to bed. Tired and feeling very blah.

dakini · Nov 12th, 2007, 14:39 PM

Well, I think I am out this time around.

My temps dropped pretty significantly this am. I know the weekend they were nuts but I temped early and was a little sleep deprived. Well, there's always next time...

I know it hasn't been long, but I am feeling down today. Was feeling down yesterday too. Not sure why...just feeling blah. I'm sure it will go away soon. Probably a day or two after AF shows up. That way I know it's on to another cycle for sure. And I guess I am feeling down because I didn't drink on Saturday and I should have, but I felt so nauseous! Oh well. This weekend I'm sure I'll have a few.

And I guess I'm also down because I went out with DH and some work friends of his and I didn't have a good time. I hate going out where no one knows you and you try and talk with people but you're the third wheel and they start talking amongst themselves and then start to ignore you...then realize what they are doing and try and talk to you again...then the conversation goes back to something they know about but you can't join in...ok, just rambling and babbling now.

That's what happens with I feel "ick".

So congrats to everyone with a BFP! I look forward to joining you! And I swear, next time around I am not going to be analyzing everything...I just have to remember that I haven't been off BCP that long and I have no idea what my "normal" pre-AF symptoms are....easier said than done, but I am going to try. Later.

dakini · Nov 13th, 2007, 17:19 PM

Well, I am just ready to shoot someone - the

is my first candidate!

For the second day in a row my temps have dropped. And most of the morning I have been getting cramps. But, nothing! I just want AF to start so that I can go onto the next cycle.

Although, after the past week or so that my DH has been having at work I have to admit I am looking forward to AF just so that there's not an extra stressor on him. It's been a rough ride and he's trying to figure out what he has to/wants to do. Let's just say the company he recently moved to has been having some problems and he is wondering if he should move. At least the company he moved from is having issues too...and I still say if he'd stayed he would have been asked to move to another city, and that would not have happened and he would have been out of a job anyway...I just hope everything works out for him. I hate seeing him so stressed. I don't think it's going to affect our ttc, but this next cycle he may want to take a break (even though it's going to be only our 3rd cycle trying) just until he knows what's going on...though we have a couple of weeks to decide about that.

So, as much as I really wanted a BFP this month, I think it worked out ok. The last thing I need is a DH that's going crazy...only one of us can at a time!

So after my mini-break down yesterday and feeling down, I know that everything is working out as it should. It's hard, but also just what should be.

So, that's where I stand right now. 95% sure I'm not pg, actually happy about it this time around (despite appearances yesterday

), and just trying to keep my DH sane...and waiting to see what happens this cycle. It's hard, but sometimes you have to take your sanity over anything else...the good news is that I may have a way to bring in some extra money and get a start on getting my own company off the ground...hoping it will work out. That everything will work out. I'm not that concerned about my DH's job, but I guess you never know for sure. And I'm sure he can find something else...hell he can start doing photos (he's an amazing amateur photographer - did some pics for a family wedding and most of them turned out great...other than the ones that they didn't listen to him for! And of course you always have some that just don't turn out...), doing mosaics of digital photos, construction with his father, or anything really...ok, rant and vent over now.

Didn't think this was going to get so long..

dakini · Nov 15th, 2007, 02:36 AM

It's official, the witch caught me this cycle. It's CD2. I'm going to try and not over-analyze this cycle. Going to try and stay away from FF even...record my temps by not chart them for a few weeks. I know about when I should O and I'll just see what happens. that's the plan anyway...we'll see what happens.

Looking forward to the weekend...going to have some Bailey's or something, just because I can and last weekend I didn't feel like having any.

Very tired lately, but I think that's because I've been staying up too late...have to try and go to bed earlier tonight.

Well, that's about all. Just wanted to let you all know that it official - I bit the dust this cycle. There's always next cycle!

emerphire · Nov 15th, 2007, 04:15 AM

we'll get that darn

...

dakini · Nov 15th, 2007, 13:45 PM

Yeah, we will. When the time is right.

to you!

ChefSara77 · Nov 15th, 2007, 18:58 PM

Dakini--probably not what you've been wanting to hear, but it's possible all the craziness of the past few weeks could still be related to your Paxil withdrawal. I've been reading that you can think you're over it, only to have some of the symptoms come back several months later. Apparently it can also screw with your cycle...that might have something to do with your crazy temps and late AF. Just a thought...

Here's hoping next month is it for you!!!

dakini · Nov 15th, 2007, 19:56 PM

Thanks. Didn't know that. I have been off Paxil for quite a few months...as for the temps, they looked pretty normal. The dip on 7dpo is normal even if it's not implantation (though it can mean that...), and the 2 days where it spiked alot I was sick with a fever. So I don't think my temps were too bad....they dropped when they should have - just before AF showed up.

As for AF being late, it really wasn't. This is my second cycle off BCP and both have been 32 days. Not sure if that's going to change. I also don't know my LP as I started temping part way through my first cycle, so this last cycle was my first full one charting. We'll see what happens this time around. So far i seem to be pretty stable...temp and cycle length wise!

But thank you. I just got excited this time around. As I said in a PP, I am going to try and relax this month. Record my temps but not chart them for a few weeks. I know about when O should happen so I'll just jump DH around those days and see what happens.

If I can stop myself from charting...

And I didn't know Paxil could come back months later and bite you in the a$$. Good to know.

ChefSara77 · Nov 15th, 2007, 20:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dakini

Paxil could come back months later and bite you in the a$$. Good to know.

I've just been reading up on it a lot given what I'm going through. Doesn't happen to everyone, but it can.

Oh, and I got some of those little acupressure wristbands that they sell for motion sickness (they call the sea bands). They help immensely with the dizziness/vertigo of withdrawal, and they supposedly also help with morning sickness...which hopefully you'll need relief from soon

Sara

dakini · Nov 15th, 2007, 20:50 PM

I'm going to have to find one of those...I get motion sickness on long car trips anyway so really not looking forward to m/s...and maybe it'd help with the nausea from St. John's Wort...though it doesn't seem to be affecting me lately...I'll have to find one. Glad to know they work! And you'll be ready when you need relief from morning sickness.

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