I would avoid his family but I am making one of our niece's main presents, a play tent for her bedroom so I really do need to go down before Xmas. Also I am one of her favourite people so it really wouldn't be fair on her, she's only 2, it's not her fault my body has done this. It wasn't meant to be, I will be more fertile next month and my body now knows what to do.
So how is everyone doing?

I am really sorry hun that must have been very hard for you to try and enjoy ur birthday lunch also dealing with your loss and having to try and be happy for your sil.

You do not sound horrible at all and everyone would feel exactly the same. I haven't been on much because I am going with the ntnp this month lol but i know when ov is as i get twinges but we are relaxing and going with the flow. NO PRESSURE ALOUD AT ALL!!!

Thanks hun if my ntnp doesn't work this month I will defo try charting. i have been talking to so many people lately that had been trying and when they actually stopped trying they fell preggers right away lol. so I am trying to not try! bloodly harder than it sounds lol so no stress this month at all.

we started out not trying

Ah bugger lol

I am nearly 36 so didn't think I had time to ntnp but I think with being such a focused person I have hindered myself with all the opk and charting when O will be, bding on the right times and really just putting to much pressure on myself and then not reaching my goal each month again more pressure

So this month no pressure just enjoy Christmas and a few drinks and see what happens, no opks no looking at what cd I am and just bding when i want it (usually all the time anywaylol) so fx for a shock this month will it work for me who knows but a month off could do me the world of good and maybe a

hugs!

Hi ladies

Sorry I've been quiet this weekend. My SD has been with us and I didn't want to risk logging on and her seeing me in the forum as she would have assumed I was pregnant - I wish!

Fifi-Folle, I really am very sorry for your loss. I can't pretend I know exactly how you feel but I can try my best to empathise and realise it must be really hard for you. I don't think you are a terrible person at all. I think you are perfectly normal and I'm sure your DH's family will understand. I have been avoiding my step-sister because she is expecting her second and I don't have a reason as understandable as yours. I've been doing it because she drives me insane with her "when are you going to give my kid's some cousins" comments. Obviously at the moment when I desperately want to do just that it's the last thing I need to hear!

I hope everyone else is well?

x

That's a nightmare isn't it! SIL's husband is very direct and often asks "So are you pregnant yet?" if he asks at Christmas he will probably get a very detailed answer!!! I do that when people annoy me with questions about my health (constant pain from endo), some people like my MIL don't ask any more!!!! Goodness knows how my DH came from that family!!!

Personally I am getting back to feeling normal-ish. Spoke to Mum for an hour last night, taking advantage of her medical knowledge (she was a nurse, midwife and midwifery tutor) and also her personal experience. She had a miscarriage the cycle before she got pregnant with me, so fingers crossed I get pregnant after this one! Going to see GP though as confused as to whether we should take a month off next month or not. Couldn't get an appt til a week's time though!!!! Grr, the NHS is so annoying. Have also spoken to gynae's secretary who is setting up an appointment to see my new gynae in a fertility clinic as she had suggested we would do if pregnancy didn't work out (I'm at increased risk of miscarriage due to endo). So things are moving forward, but obviously I would prefer a natural BFP rather than IUI, IVF or ICSI.

Oops, sorry for the long post.
Hope everyone is doing well!

Fifi-Folle -that all sounds really positive. I'm glad you are feeling better. I think the general advice after a MC/Chemical is to wait a month or so but in reality when someone has suffered a loss like that it is inevitable that they will want to try again asap. One of my ex-colleagues had MC's in consecutive months but on the third month the bean stuck and she now has a DD so finger's crossed for you. My understanding is that it is quite common especially with first pregnancies and that prior to these new really sensitive HPT's people would have them without knowing. I guess that's the downside of actively TTC and monitoring things so closely. At least your body know's what to do now and Christmas is coming up so hopefully you will be able to relax and look to the future. My DH has banned me from taking any HPT's until I am a minimum of 4 days late, which I think makes a lot of sense.

The family pressure regarding pregnancy drives me insane. These days it's only really my step-sister that does it and to be honest I think it's just her way of getting one over on me. Although we haven't talked about it in recent months I have told her that I really want to have a baby in the past so I think she can't help herself but rub my nose in it. I'm dreading this weekend as it's my niece's birthday (2) and I'm going to be surrounded by babies and ankle biter's. If need be, we will use having to get home for the dog as an excuse to leave early! My step-daughter (11) is quite obsessed with the idea of me having a baby at the moment too, so I have had to field all her questions this weekend. Unfortunately her vindictive bitch of a mother has been telling that when we have a baby we won't be bothered with her anymore, so she wants to talk about it to get some reassurance. I completely understand that she needs to hear us tell her that we will love her just as much as we always have. But, I don't much feel like exploring that subject at the moment when I'm so desperate for it to happen and obviously we haven't told her we are TTC. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone other than me?

I'm rambling now so I better be off.....
x

It makes total sense. For something which only requires two people to achieve too many people seem to think they have a right to get involved (if that makes sense). Another reason that your step daughter is probably becoming interested will be the relationships unit they will probably be doing in school (if it's anything like the Scottish education system) and with puberty kicking in she'll probably have lots of questions. That's awful what her Mum is saying though. It's awful when people treat their children like pawns. My FIL has a 12yr old son from another relationship who he has since split from and for a long time my little BIL was used by his Mother as a tool for punishing his Dad. Fortunately it's all ok just now. What's the phrase, you can choose your friends but not your family?!?
Fingers crossed for your BFP for Christmas!!! Only 3 days to go til you can test!!!