Home
Momtastic
Site Map
Help
Register
Log In
 

Go Back   BabyandBump > Trying To Conceive Forums > TTC After A Loss

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old Jan 26th, 2010, 10:24 AM   #11
jennyellen13
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: kent
Posts: 1,374
im exactly the same, iv got friends on there that have just had babies and that are just pregnant! i get so jelous i try not to be but i just cant help but have a few tears and think i should have my daughter with me. i just want a bfp and try and be happy again. xx


 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jan 26th, 2010, 10:27 AM   #12
Firedancer41
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,065
Ugh! Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt!

A friend of mine was pregnant the same time I was, and due just 3 weeks after me. I could not take the constant FB updates about how great her son was, so I put her on ignore, along with another mom I know from daughter's dance class who recently announced SHE was PG and talks about it constantly @@

I just try to not compare myself to others and say that my time will come....{{hugs to you}}


Status: Offline
 
Old Jan 26th, 2010, 14:40 PM   #13
Tulip
Trying to conceive (TTC)
BnB Elite
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 15,125
Mmm I had friends both one week and two weeks behind me when pregnant. They're now feeling kicks and I just can't bear it, so have them hidden on FB.

I also now have an irrational jealous hatred of sara Cox and Denise Van Outen for parading their perfect pregnancies around the papers. I know it's wrong


 
Status: Online
 
Old Jan 26th, 2010, 14:58 PM   #14
Beadette
Other
BnB Elite
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Notts, UK
Posts: 11,289
Quote:
Originally Posted by blondee View Post
OMG Beadette! I'm exactly the same!! I thought that in time i would blame myself for the MC in some way, but i really don't. I 100% accept that it is nature and you can't fight it, buuuuuut somehow, really oddly i do feel like my body is a failure and that it has let my hubby down. So stupid, eh? We have to keep positive and banish these stupid thoughts from our heads. I do believe in fate and that it will happen when my body is ready. I just want my body to be ready NOW!!

Looks like you have had an mmc really recently, i'm so sorry, hun. How are you doing? Are you feeling well?
I'm doing ok thank you. Trying to have lots of PMA. Sadly one of my best friends was pregnant and due 5 days ahead of me and she also had a MMC diagnosed 22nd December 2009. Well obviously before I found out (my scan was on 30th December when I found out) I was trying my best to be there for her. It kind of made me realise that pregnancies do not always end well as sad as that is. When I then too had a MMC I could not belive it and neither could she.

I have to say that having her go through it too, kind of stopped me from the self-pity which i'm sure would have consumed me. I keep thinking why did it happen to them, to us??? We're good people! But then I have to think rationally and know that I did nothing to make this hapen and neither did she.

Physically I'm doing well, stopped bleeding (spotting after ERPC) on 18th Jan. Emotionally I've had a rollercoaster. Was dealig very well with it at first (was in shock), then after ERPC this overwhelming grief consumed me. Was very bad for about a week then last week I felt much better and have felt more and more positive with each day that passes. I just hope it lasts.

I'm going back to work tomorrow and am feeling good about it. Also looking forward to TTC again!

Thanks for asking about me hun - look I've wrote a bloody essay! Sorry! x x x


 
Status: Online
 
Old Jan 26th, 2010, 17:07 PM   #15
blondee
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 606
Ah Beadette, that is rough. So odd that the same thing has happened to your friend too.

I can only say it gets easier and the bad days still come (nearly a year later) but they are fewer and somehow you cope. I'm sure it makes us all very strong...

Take care of yourself. X



Status: Offline
 
Old Jan 27th, 2010, 18:52 PM   #16
maybabydoll
On a break (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: London
Posts: 868
Me too. I found by simply hitting "hide" on my FB feed it was better, especially with the constant scan pictures... As I'm happy for them all, I just don't need to see every step, every day.

The updates I find really hard are when friends are complaining about lack of sleep or their teething or "naughty" babies. I really want to say at least you have a baby!! But they're having their own problems and might not realise the impact of their updates/know that some of their friends have suffered baby loss.


Status: Offline
 
Old Jan 27th, 2010, 23:47 PM   #17
Ten
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 156
*hugs* to all you mamas - I feel your pain. Two people in my social circle (not really friends, but friended on FB) were due in the same month as me. I had to hit hide on both of them because I started crying whenever I saw updates or new belly pics. There are things you just have to do for your own sanity. (And now there's a fresh crop of preggos I had to hide.... sigh.)

I did drop them both congratulations when their kids were born. Sad thing is - neither of them messaged me with condolences. I could understand them not wanting to think about so late a loss when they were nearing the finish line, but it seemed like it would've been polite after their kids were born.

On the other hand, there were people I barely knew who stepped up with support and encouragement. I cannot bless them enough.


Status: Offline
 
Old Jan 28th, 2010, 08:01 AM   #18
blondee
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 606
Ten, i am so very sorry for your loss.

I can't begin to imagine what you have been going through.

I imagine that your friends who are expecting are trying to keep out of your way for fear of upsetting you or feeling like they are somehow showing off/rubbing it in that they are still pregnant or have a little baby. I would be very surprised if they didn't contact you in a few months and pour their hearts out to you. Please don't feel like they are not offering your condolences for any other reason - i think your news will have affected them very much and it is because they care about you that they are giving you some space. At least, that's what i'd guess at...

How are you doing? Are you getting plenty of support at home? The Ladies on here are superb and a real source of comfort.



Status: Offline
 
Old Jan 28th, 2010, 08:36 AM   #19
sincerevon
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 309
I'm going through the same thing. I was pregnant along with my husband's cousin. We were due around the EXACT same time. I MC'd and she's still going strong. I'm SO happy for her (she's gone through a lot herself, TTC for over 3 years). But her success reminds me of my failure. It gets really hard sometimes. Especially when she's updating her Facebook status saying how happy she is, and talking about her bubs heartrate, while I'm sitting here with an empty womb. Hopefully this pain will go away soon. I'm almost finished with AF and then we'll be able to TTC again.. Hugs to all you girls, I wish we never had to experience this!


 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jan 28th, 2010, 12:10 PM   #20
Ten
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by blondee View Post
I imagine that your friends who are expecting are trying to keep out of your way for fear of upsetting you or feeling like they are somehow showing off/rubbing it in that they are still pregnant or have a little baby. I would be very surprised if they didn't contact you in a few months and pour their hearts out to you. Please don't feel like they are not offering your condolences for any other reason - i think your news will have affected them very much and it is because they care about you that they are giving you some space. At least, that's what i'd guess at...

How are you doing? Are you getting plenty of support at home? The Ladies on here are superb and a real source of comfort.
Thanks. I'm doing about as okay as can be. I'm getting a lot of support at home; my husband is wonderful, as are my parents. I also have a few friends who are immeasurable sources of comfort.

As for my "friends" - they're both pretty self-involved normally, so I'm not real surprised. Just kind of hurt. Their little ones are all several months old by now. I wish them joy and health - I just sort of avoid places I know they'll be because they're HUGE braggers and I don't want to hear about it.

That's okay. The ladies here are wonderful. One day on the boards and I already feel like I've come home. to everyone.


 
Status: Offline
 
Reply

  BabyandBump > Trying To Conceive Forums > TTC After A Loss


Bookmarks

Tags
eyed, green, mini, monster, rant

Thread Tools


Similar Threads
Grrr Major green eyed monster! Trying To Conceive
The green eyed monster Trying To Conceive
Ugly green eyed monster is coming out! Trying To Conceive
Green eyed monster when friends announce they are pregnant Waiting To Try