Tilly

Thats what I was getting at, the romance shouldn't go.. I don't think it should become just having sex on these few days that are meant to be when you're most fertile. In fact I was watching a report on television the other day that suggested that SOME women (no one take it personally, I don't mean you) are concentrating soo much on when they're 'meant' to be fertile, that they actually get it wrong and thats why they're having problems. Obviously, this is not all cases and I understand some people have fertility problems.

Of course I understand these ladies have been TTC for a long time, but I wasn't being harsh and what I don't like is comments like that - saying some women here have been trying for ages, when no one here knows a thing about me to say that.

Mango

That's pretty much what happened with me as well. But then again if I look at it, my OH and I have been "shagging" (gotta luv that word) for over 5 years so I don't think it is something that "just happened". I think it was bound to happen at some point.

No shagging advice for you ladies but I found a few links at iVillage that may be of interest for you!! Have a look --> http://parenting.ivillage.com/ttc/to...,,4rwd,00.html

Sinead

We do go with flow to a certain extent, but I don't think we do it enough. Y'know the stress of work, tired, etc which means trying to plan things a bit more means more "shagging".

Sinead

Wobbles

Why do you not like comments like that (although confused in general)? I have to say Im confused to why you use the words 'comments' anyway like it was AT you in a bad manner (?) when realistically as your say I do not know anything about you BUT I hadn't suggested I did (?) what I AM able to do (and did) is answer what I know as my experience and thoughts to the topic in general that had been brought up regardless if it had of been you or another.

Fact is my reply stating that some women had been trying for a long time (ages) is true so I fail to understand why you appear to have taken that personally esspecially again as I was sorta talking of my own personal experience tbh which was the trying for ages & losses with it & I did use information about best fertility times to help us try & conceive.

Jo

Sorry Tilly but to be fair you don't know anything about the ladies on here that have been trying for months/years and have experianced losses to comment on how and when they should be TTC.

Tezzy

i agree with jo, tilly you know nothing about us and you should not dictate to other people the right and wrong ways to TTC. We all TTC in different ways, how we feel comfortable and when we feel it is right.

Tilly

Ok, a few replies to get through here but let me start by saying that my "but I wasn't being harsh and what I don't like is comments like that - saying some women here have been trying for ages, when no one here knows a thing about me to say that." - I didn't mean you girls can't speak about ttc at all! (some of you could have misunderstood as I didn't word it well), but when I have people quoting me saying some people have tried ages, it was as if im not allowed an opinion almost because im not in the special TTC club..? I didn't wait 1-2+ years to get pregnant, but I also didnt get pregnant after a "drunken one nighter" - btw Wobbles, I know that wasn't directed at me, since you'd have no reason to be funny with me like that but it was again a bit of an odd thing to say to the few that are lucky to fall pregnant quickly. I know/have known women that can't have children or have struggled for years (including my own mum) so I would no way make nasty comments to anyone that is unable (or struggling to) have children.

@Jo - I wasn't telling anyone how they SHOULD TTC, it really doesn't bother me if they like to hang from the curtain pole with their partners hanging from them whilst they eat ice cream, it's not affecting me. I was asking a question, saying what I had heard on television to give the girls here something to think about and also giving my own opinion of how I found the best way to conceive as that was the original point of this thread. It is a public forum and you may sometimes read things you don't like, but I didn't go out of my way to offend.

Also just wanted to add that I can understand to a certain extent even though I didn't try for years to get pregnant, I can understand the hurt you feel each month when your period comes and you're hoping for that little baby so badly, but it was my own decision not to look too deeply into it and think too much about when I could get pregnant. I decided to "go with the flow" that was my "method".

Jo

Ok yeah it is a public forum fair enough, you didn't offend me in the slightest, you annoyed me by maybe not thinking about what you wrote, and knowing the history behind peoples TTC.

Its not that you can't have an opinion because you are not in "the special TTC club". I have an opinion and i am in no way TTC but i would hope that i would word things in such a way to people that are TTC that i didn't sound condesending and make it sound like thay don't know what they are doing ( i am sure you didn't mean it like that either).

At the end of the day everyone has differant ways of conceiving especially after trying for a very long time, the same as everyone has differant ways of parenting, looking after animals and cooking say

I don't think your comments were nasty per se just not very well thought out and maybe found to be hurtful

Tilly

Like I said, I wouldn't need to know the history behind peoples TTC.. I know that wouldn't be my place to comment unless I was asked to, as I wouldn't expect anyone to tell me how to TTC or anything else for that matter. I made one comment that I thought might be taken the wrong way "Do you guys not kind of go with the flow? let romance take you..? lol, it seems like something out of a text book, all these plans.." as I was so confused with the first post: I thought it was obvious I was messing around, hence the "lol".. looking back, I guess it could be considered silly to mess around in that way in this type of thread, but I believe Suz made it in quite a light hearted manner which is why I wrote it like that.

Anyway, I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart if I have upset anyone..

Jo

It can be just a very touchy subject hun thats all