I am due to join you girls in a month and have been reading your journals. I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions already and am fully prepared that it is going to continue through ttc. H thinks he has super sperm lol and that I will get pregnant straight away. I know that although this is possible it is also possible that things may take time (though in my mind hoping H is right)

Please can you give me some advice on how to cope with hoping that you get your each month and how you cope when it is

I am the sort of person that when on a high you can't shut me up and when I am on a low I can't get out of it and because of this I am not going to chart CM or temps as I will be totally obsessed, think about nothing else - I really can't do that.

Any tips or positve thoughts you have to help you get through it would be appreciated

Thank you in advance

don't know what to say really? Df is very supportive and reminds me that it will happen. Basically you just have to get on with it - it's not like you can give up? I've been trying for a year and i don't know how i've got through some months but you do go through stages - disappointment the first couple of months but still exciting and then it goes to disbelief and then anger and i think i'm at the i don't believe it will happen but i try anyway stage?
Hope you are one of the lucky ones!

I havent been TTC for very long, so I cant be of much help - just wanted to wish you good luck on your journey, and I hope you join first tri quickly!

This is only my 1st month ttc and I do wonder also how everyone gets through it month to month. I am already obsessing and I know I can't do the obsessing every month as it will drive my dh crazy.

I'm usually just down in the dumps the day my temps drop & for the first few days of my cycle... my PMA usually returns on about CD5

Good luck & welcome to the mad, mad world of TTC xxxx

Ive been ttc since march 08, and tbh, it can get really really hard when nothing happens. But you have a damn good cry and then kinda pick urself up, and get on with it til it knocks u back again.
Hope it happens soon for u x

Hiya,

ive been ttc for a year and a half but i have been pg twice in that time, altough i mc both, so despite the long ttc compared to some of you ladies, i have had some very happy moments and i obviously know i can get pg, so thats a relief.

I have to agree with Tans (we've been doing this together on b&b for nearly a year!!). You do go full circle i think....

You start off all exited that you are finally ttc and then slowly but surely dissapointment seeps in. Then (for most) irrational fears that something is wrong. Then the anger and disbelief when you see and hear of others getting pg before you. Then, hopefully, you settle into a rythm of doing it, it becomes part and parcel of everyday life and you sometimes enjoy it and sometimes have to slog your way through it.

My main piece of advice would be to keep the communication channels open with your oh. Its imperative that you each know what the other feels as it is easy (as i pointed out above) to feel a barrage of emotions and often we (unfortunately, lol) take this out on eachother..which needless to say is very counterproductive when you need to be close, in more ways than one

I also think its useful to read up on actual figures and %'s of pg rates in normal couples, so that you dont feel like a freak whilst it seems everyone gets pg at a drop of a hat. The actual successrate each month is not very high ( one number often quoted is in the 20% bracket) and regardless of most oh's impression of having supersperm (yes, this is a very common male impression, lol) actual conception is a bit of a miracle when all things are considered.

The other frustrating thing can be the feeling like you do all the work, where all your oh has to do is to show up and have a good time It helps if they understand how boring and tedious it can be to be a slave to your cycle- however, without you knowing all that stuff there's no way of knowing when to bd in which case, supersperm or not, it aint gonna happen, lol!

Most people get pg after a while...what you do in that time and how you treat eachother is the most important thing. There are gonna be times when perhaps your oh isnt up for it (pardon the pun) or is simply under the weather. What ever you do dont blame him. After all, although men just have to show up so to speak..it is a bit more difficult and stressfull for them than just that. We can afterall lie there and think of england, shoes, or next day's shopping list (LOL) while they really have to be in the right frame of mind, you know

I think the best way is always to hope for the best but expect the worst that way it seems to lessen the blow a bit. Hope is the biggest thing..whatever happens..keep the faith alive..because if im honest..like Tans says, that's what most of us are running on!

All the best and good luck, chicken!

, OMi xxx

Thanks for asking the question Mrs Doddy. We've only just started trying and I've wondered how you get through too. I'd be like you, pretty single-minded so I too have vowed to avoid temp and predictor kits for fear or turning into a monster!

Thanks for the advice OMI. I've read every article I can find on conception and you do sit back in wonder that it ever happens. Hope it happens for you soon!

I would like to quickly add that although you dont wanna go down the route of poas (pee on a stick) etc etc i greatly recommend the clearblue fertility monitor as its hasslefree and does NOT turn you into a ttc monster as it really takes all the work out of ttc for you. If you have normal cycle length it normally will only ask you for ten sticks and tells you not only when you're ov but when you are about to so you get optimal bd time in. Its great stuff and ive used it with success with both my pg's.

It may be a bit pricey but the trick is to get it off ebay- much cheaper- i did

If this is defenitely not the route for you (yet) then keep an eye on your cm. You really dont wanna find yourself a few months down the line realising you've been bd on the wrong dates. And even if to begin with you're at it like bunnies...after a while even this might lose its shine so an aid or two doesnt go amiss

As ive mentioned ive been doing this for a long time and the only things i really do is notice the cm, use the cbfm ten days each month and take a prenatal every night. I couldnt do temping either although it gives great results..its just too much for me!

This is exactly whats happened with us, and really well described...although we still have some very bad days of worrying were infertile and all the rest of it, but mostly now were settled into a routine and know itll happen (hopefully soon!)